Revenge of the Nerds Page #3

- Not for rent.

- I thought it was for rent.

- F*** off.

- Hi, Judy.

- Hi, Gilbert!

- How are you?

- I'm fine.

- Good.

- Where you goin'?

I gotta go find a place to live.

Oh, that's horrible, you guys

having to live in the gym.

Oh, yeah, well...

- What is that? Is that yours?

- Oh, it's my accordion.

- The... You play the accordion?

- Yeah!

- You know, I love the accordion.

- Really?

Yeah. Are you very good, or...

- No, not really.

- Oh.

I'm on my way to accordion class

now. Wanna walk with me?

Yeah, sure. Oh, no.

Here. Let me get it.

I think I found a house.

About f***ing time!

Isn't it fantastic?

Welcome.

- You feeling anything yet, Takashi?

- Booger, I feel nothing.

Well, you better have another hit.

Look at this counter.

Could be good.

- Feeling anything now?

- Oh, no.

I feeling nothing at all.

How about now?

I can't believe what they've

done to that house.

That's amazing.

- Looks terrific, doesn't it, Stan?

- Yeah.

Well, it won't look

terrific for long.

What are you looking at, nerd? Huh?

I thought I was looking at my mother's

old douche bag, but that's in Ohio.

Seven, and eight,

and stretch those arms.

Come on, looks great.

Come on, Wormser.

Count one. Keep it up. Two...

Good morning, Poindexter.

- Good morning.

- Okay.

Excuse me.

Oh, thank you very much.

- Okay, Takashi, show me your cards.

- Okay. Two and four kings.

- That's good, yes? Oh.

- No. No, you got too many kings.

- You gotta get rid of these.

- Oh.

I'll take three of these kings out, and

we'll replace them with three fresh cards.

Oh. Okay. Thank you.

Okay, when do I deal?

You gotta win a hand first.

I told you we'd find

a better place.

Yeah. This is way

better than the dorm.

It says, "Nerds, get out."

What is a nerd?

We are.

I don't know what this world is

comin' to. See that man over there?

We arrested him for mopery.

What's mopery?

Mopery is exposing yourself

to a blind person.

I'm sorry about your

windows, fellas.

It's out of my jurisdiction.

Sounds like a fraternity prank.

There's only one organization

that can handle this.

What organization is that?

The Greek Council.

Our next order of

business, new membership.

Earl, show the

petitioners in, please.

Oh, my God.

Kneel, gentlemen.

You are the gentlemen who

wish to form a fraternity?

Yes, sir.

Well, gentlemen, as president

of the Greek Council,

I'm sorry to inform you that

your membership has been denied.

Excuse me, but, uh, why?

Well, according to our charter, you must

have a national fraternity as your sponsor.

- Do you have one?

- No.

Well, I'm afraid he's right.

But all we have to do is get a

national sponsor, and we're in, right?

Right, right. So I guess we'll see

you in about, say, uh, 20 years.

"Dear sirs, thank you for applying

to Delta Kappa Gamma."

"We've gone over your application,

and it wasn't even close."

"In the future, we recommend that

you not include a group photo."

That's 29 rejections so far.

Did we send pictures to everybody?

Yeah, everybody except for,

uh, Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Here's one that will see us!

Lambda Lambda Lambda?

Yeah. They're gonna love us.

As you know, we have no

chapter at Adams College,

which is why we agreed to see you.

But I must tell you, gentlemen,

you have very little chance

of becoming Tri-Lambs.

I'm in a difficult situation here.

I mean, after all,

you're nerds.

According to your by-laws,

you have to take us on

a 60-day trial basis.

- I beg your pardon?

- According to your by-law...

He's right, U.N.

Any group that petitions can become

a probationary Tri-Lamb chapter.

May I see that, please?

Thank you.

Well, gentlemen, you are now

probationary Tri-Lambs.

Hey, great, U.N.

Why don't we have a party? You can

come down and celebrate with us

and observe us to make sure

we're Tri-Lamb material, okay?

Great.

We won't let you down either.

I bet we'll have the highest grade point

average of any chapter you've got.

And we certainly

won't discriminate.

I mean, our chapter will be open

to people of all races and creeds.

And sexual orientation.

Wonderful.

- Hi. Remember me?

- No.

Well, we're having a party Saturday

night. Would you like to come?

- No.

- Oh. Well...

Come on! Get it up! Get it up!

Come on! You're sh*t!

You're nothin'!

You're scum! You suck!

- You're nice!

- No, I'm not!

- That a way, Og.

- Stan. Hi.

- What's up, Betty? Somethin' wrong?

- Yeah.

- What?

- One of those nerds just asked me out.

Which one?

- I don't know. They all look alike to me.

- Yeah.

They're trying to throw a party,

and they can't get any dates.

- Yeah?

- I'll eat their ancestors!

- I'll kill their parents! I'll kill...

- No, Ogre! Ogre!

Don't worry about it. Wait a

second. Just wait a second.

- Maybe we could help them out.

- Yeah?

Yeah. And I know just what to do.

Come here.

We'll put the bar over here,

and the hors d'oeuvres over there.

And we'll pass the rumaki

and the cheese puffs.

- That sounds expensive.

- Arnold, this party's important.

If we don't impress the

Tri-Lambs, we'll never get in.

Maybe we can have "robster craws."

What the f*** are robster craws?

Have any of you guys got

dates besides Gilbert?

- I do.

- Yeah, but that's with a guy.

What about you, Booger?

I been out combin' the

high schools all day.

Maybe we should cancel the party.

No, we can't cancel the party. U.N.

Jefferson's coming. We got to impress him.

We'll never find dates.

Hello, Lambda

We're the Pi's

And we're here to say

We think you are special guys

Lambdas all the way

Alpha Betas are okay

If you like sweat socks

We prefer your high I.Q.'s

To their great big jocks

Lambda Lambda Lambda boys

Really are the best

Won't you take a piece of Pi

And we'll do the rest

The sisters of Pi welcome our newest

fraternity, Lambda Lambda Lambda.

We'd like to be escorts to

your party Saturday night

and help out in any way possible.

- We got dates!

- I never been out with a girl before.

Not just a girl,

Poindexter, but a Pi.

- What's Pi stand for?

- Hair pie.

What's that?

Oh.

- Lewis, where are the Pi's?

- I don't know.

Their phone's been

busy for two hours.

I don't think U.N.'s

having a very good time.

Must be the music. I'll put on

something he'll like better.

- Lewis.

- U.N.?

- Great party.

- Thanks.

Where are those good-lookin' sorority

girls you're supposed to have dates with?

You know women. They're probably

just being fashionably late.

Swing low, sweet chariot

- I don't think the Pi's are gonna show.

- They stood us up, huh?

- Yeah.

- I could call my sorority sisters.

- You could?

- You think they'll come right over?

They're really spontaneous

people. I'll call 'em.

Crush this ice for me, will you?

- Hey, guys, we got dates.

- Who?

- Judy's gonna invite the Omega Mu's over.

- Oh, no. Not the Mu's!

- Yeah.

- They're a bunch of pigs.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi there.

- Hi there.

- Hi.

- Hi.

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