Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise Page #3

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(nerds scream)

- (woman screams)

- (Wormser) Oh, no!

(Lewis) Oh, my God!

Trespassers have witnessed sacred ritual.

Must burn clothes and chant... or die as well.

- What now, Mr Hero?

- Me?

- OK.

- Comin' right off.

- (Booger) We're sorry.

- (Wormser) Yeah, real sorry.

(nerds intone Buddhist chant)

(nerds) Nam myoho renge kyo.

Nam myoho renge kyo.

Nam myoho renge kyo.

Nam myoho renge kyo.

Intruders must leave Seminole country.

So get out of Florida.

(chanting continues)

Wait, wait.

(speaks Seminole)

- I don't think those guys are lndians.

- Why not?

Well, when I said "Bite my crank"

in Seminole, no one responded.

(Lewis) You said that to these guys?

- (growls)

- Argh!

- (Lamar) My blouse!

- (Indians yell)

(woman groans)

- (Ogre) Nerds!

- (nerds) Ogre!

- You don't go anywhere.

- Damn.

I'm gonna kill you guys. Uh, geeks!

(nerds scream and whimper)

(Indian war cry)

(woman) Oh, my!

(man) Will someone put

some clothes on them?

- (woman #2) Look, honey. Nerds.

- (woman #3) Are any of those our waiter?

(Wormser) Hitchhiking

five hours without a ride.

(Booger) Would you pick up

five guys in their underwear?

- Well, at least we're home.

- I can't believe this.

I've never been so humiliated. Lewis, you

must be crazy to think we're gonna stay here.

We were fools to think we'd be accepted here.

I'm going home where

I can not get laid in peace.

No, you're not. We were chosen by Adams

College to be their representatives.

- We're gonna stay here and represent them.

- Lewis!

Last year we were messed with, but we

fought back and we won. We can do it again.

That was Adams. This is the real world.

I really don't know about you guys,

but I'm not giving up.

- (woman) They really like that.

- (woman #2) Two for one.

I'm really sorry I snapped at you guys.

(all apologise at once)

(all) Go ahead.

(all apologise at once)

Lewis, we're really sorry.

We're not gonna quit on you. Are we, guys?

- No.

- No.

No.

All right.

(snorting and spitting)

(snorting and spitting)

This room is a pigsty.

Thank you.

- You should be ashamed of yourself.

- F*** you. Who died and made you God?

My name's Dudley Dawson.

They call me Booger.

Edgar Po Wong. They call me Snotty.

(belches)

(chuckles dismissively)

(belches loudly and long)

(belching continues)

Master.

My son, soon you will take over.

Those geeks look dumber in their

underwear than they do in person.

(Indian war cry)

In my day buttwipes like that

couldn't get in fraternities.

You went to college to drink,

play football and get laid.

None of this academic sh*t.

We had our standards.

I turned out just fine. I mean,

look at me. A hotel manager.

Whoa!

At least you guys got rid of those geeks.

Hear, hear, fellas.

Here's to the last of the nerds.

Nerds!

I don't care what kind of convention

you've got, I didn't get a wink of sleep.

There was yelling, carrying-on

like I don't know what.

We thought we heard sheep noises.

Why don't I do this? Would you hand me

a complimentary pass, please?

Here. This is a certificate for a free night

the next time you stay with us.

Well, all right, but that doesn't excuse it.

- I thought I heard power tools.

- I am very, very sorry.

Enjoy the rest of your stay.

- What's this about a free night?

- I thought because we're having a ha...

I'm not paying you to think. This hotel isn't

giving away rooms while I'm acting manager.

Unless you wanna have it taken out

of your paycheck. Get it?

So get your little ass back to work.

- That was rude, sir.

- Lipsey, you dipshit.

- That was rude. I think you should apologise.

- What?

(Lipsey yells)

Safe!

- Say, uh...

- Stewart.

Stewart, yeah. What are you doin'?

- Standing up for myself.

- Let me help you up.

Oh, Stewart.

Hi, Sunny. How's your stroke?

Mr Skolnick. Did you find a place to stay?

Well, actually, you can just call me at

the Hotel Coral Essex. I-I mean, you...

Stewart, are you OK? I just wanna

thank you for standing up for me.

- I guess you got fired, huh?

- Yeah.

- Fired? Who fired you, Stewart?

- The manager.

The acting manager.

Men?

- Yeah, just the three of us.

- Nerds!

Debbie, the car is...

There's plenty of room. Yeah.

Yeah. No, cos the seats go down. Sure.

Don't forget the blueberries and cream.

- Are you the manager here?

- Yeah.

Skolnick, come here.

(Ogre growls)

Skolnick, you're a smart guy.

Don't you understand?

You're not wanted here.

Wrong, sir. Adams College wants us here.

- We are their delegates.

- We have a right to be here.

- Tell him, Poindexter.

- Yes, how correct you are.

Excuse me.

According to Article 34 of the bylaws

of the United Fraternities,

all representatives representing

represented organisations

are allowed, by law, their rightful place.

- Yeah, so bite me, all right?

- (growls)

No, fine. Fine. You're right.

You're absolutely right.

If that's the law, then... that's the law.

So, we are resolved to extend

the reach of our domain

to include technical and trade schools

and English-speaking universities

outside of the country.

Now, to our last order of business,

which concerns constitutional amendments,

which will be voted on

at tomorrow's session.

Uh, Proposition 15,

sponsored by the Alpha Betas,

will be introduced by Chip "Tiny" Hayes.

Excuse me. Uh, Chip "The Meat" Hayes.

"Whereas it is a moral obligation

of every fraternity

to glorify both the body as well as the mind,

be it now resolved

that all fraternities shall a...

shall a... "

- Augment.

- Thanks.

"augment existing academic standards

with new physical standards as well."

- What?

- That's unfair.

- That's unconstitutional.

- That bites.

"Therefore, the membership of each fraternity

must meet such physical standards

or be excluded from

this conference. " Thank you.

- And who decides the standards?

- (Roger) Pardon me?

I said, who decides the standards?

Why, your, uh... your democratically elected

leaders, of course.

- Do I hear a second?

- Get the nerds outta here.

- I second it.

- (Roger) Thanks a lot.

Proposition 15 is moved and seconded

and will be voted on at tomorrow's ballot.

They can kick us out if we don't

pass the physical standards.

- (Booger) We're screwed.

- No, we're not.

They're not getting away with this.

Point of order! Hey! Point

of order! This is totally unfair.

Hey, I'll give you the mike as soon

as I make this brief announcement.

- All right. Make it quick.

- Thank you.

Gentlemen. Wet nightie contest,

poolside, in five minutes.

Wet nightie? Whoa!

(crowd chants)

Gentlemen, we got 24 hours

to get through to these people.

- But how?

- How? They're rational individuals.

All we have to do is explain to them that

Proposition 15 is unfair and inappropriate.

Guys?

What are you doing, looking at women like

that? You're a kid. You should be ashamed.

I made a mistake. We're gonna

have to fight fire with fire.

I agree. Let's torch their hotel.

- No, I mean beat 'em at their own game.

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