Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise Page #4

---

- Football?

No. I think we should have

a "No on 15" party.

- Right, guys? We can do it.

- Right.

The Tri-Lambs prevailed at Adams.

We can prevail here.

- Wormser, here.

- Thanks.

- Stewart?

- I sure hope this works.

If this doesn't get a crowd,

I don't know what will.

- Hit the switch.

- Hit the switch.

- Hit the switch.

- Hit the switch.

Hit the switch.

- (Stewart) Wow!

- (Booger) All right!

- Hey, you guys, that worked great!

- I don't get it.

Ave Maria.

(man) Party!

Oh, thank you, God, for my five little babies.

- It's party time!

- (Lamar) Hit it!

(# rap music)

# Party people in the place, here's a story

# About some guys that are bound for glory

# I'll get right down to the nitty-gritty

# - The Triple-L Crew is gonna rock this city

# - Rock this city

# I'm the l-a-m, the a and the r

# The man on the mike that they call Lamar

# And there's a couple of things

that I'd like to say about Prop 15

# It's not OK

# - Now, I'm no jock, no football hero

# - Hero

# But that don't mean I'm an absolute zero

(braying laugh)

# Now, people call us rejects

and all of that stuff

# Just because we can't do

a hundred push-ups

# Don't judge by looks

like a book by its cover

# You may miss a friend

You may miss a lover

(# guitar solo)

# I'm rockin' on the mike

I didn't come to preach

# But there's some folks out there

that need to be reached

# You've gotta open your mind

so you can set it free

# And the man to help you do it

is the mighty Lip-C

(# scratching)

# The mighty Lip-C

# Kick it! My name is Lip-C

and I got something to say

# And a couple of myths that I'd like to slay

# We're not really meek

like an itty-bitty mouse

# And in case you're uninformed

we came to rock the house

# There's only one question that I got

for you and that's, who are you?

# I'm somebody too

# - Some people into art

# - Some are really smart

# - Some got a head start

# - Does that mean we're worlds apart?

# Some people think we're for the birds

# And then they call us names

They call us nerds

# Nervous is what they really are

# Judging themselves

by the make of their car

# - We're not dorks

# - Not jerks

# - Not wimps

# - Not geeks

# - Not losers

# - Failures

# - Fakes

# - Or freaks

# Now, you may have clothes

You may have money

# A def set of wheels

and a good-looking honey

# Well, I ain't got threads or a Mercedes-Benz

# But at least I have got

some really good friends

# - So don't dis us

# - What?

# - Don't dismiss us

# - What?

# Cos one day you might want to kiss us

# - Don't reject us

# - What?

# - Disrespect us

# - What?

# We will not let you neglect us

# So before we go, take a final note

# No on 15 is the way to vote

# No on 15

# No on 15

(Lamar) Thank you! Thank you!

Now, how are you gonna vote?

(man) No on 15!

- (Lamar) What on 15?

- (woman) No on 15!

(nerds chant) No on 15!

(audience chants) No on 15! No on 15!

- No on 15!

- We're serious now.

- No on 15!

- We really mean it.

- No on 15!

- Can't hear you!

- No on 15!

- Make some noise!

No on 15!

(audience) No on 15! No on 15!

No on 15! No on 15!

I guess I underestimated these guys.

Motion is carried.

Proposition 15 is hereby removed

from the agenda and is rendered moot.

- They actually did it.

- Maybe the Alphas aren't such bad guys.

Now, I have one final order of business.

Could Lewis Skolnick,

president of the Adams College chapter

of Lambda Lambda Lambda,

come up to the podium, please?

- Go.

- Go.

(Roger) In order to make certain that this

organisation is never again embarrassed

by such misguided deeds

as the Alphas are guilty of,

I hereby propose the following

constitutional amendment.

Henceforth, any fraternity guilty

of illegal or improper conduct

shall be expelled from

the United Fraternity Conference

and their national charter revoked.

And, Lewis, I'd like the record here today

to reflect that we introduced

this proposition together.

OK, Rog.

(Roger) Let's officially bury the hatchet

between the Tri-Lambs and the Alphas

and put this joint amendment to a vote.

I think I'm gonna cry.

- All those in favour?

- (audience) Aye!

- Hey, guys.

- Here you are, fellas.

It's all yours.

I know it must be kind of overwhelming,

but, uh... we just wanted you guys

to know how sorry we were.

You know, Lewis, I hate to use "party"

as a verb, but you guys can really party.

We were impressed.

Yeah.

God, you know, Rog? We must be dreaming.

Nah. If we were dreaming I'd have a boner.

- Boner!

- That's great!

To truly hock a loogie,

one must not retrieve

the phlegm from the throat...

but from the soul.

Oh, God, Gilbert, I really wish you were here.

The Alphas down here are so great.

Listen to you. Are you telling me

that they called you up,

they invited you over to their hotel,

and then they gave you their suite?

- Yeah. Yeah, it's just incredible.

- It's too incredible.

Lewis, I know you, and I know that

sometimes you're so eager to be liked

that you don't take the time

to see people for who they really are.

Are you saying I'm some kind of weenie

who can't take care of himself?

- I'll tell you, I'm not that kind of weenie.

- Lewis, I just want you to be careful.

Remember, once an Alpha, always an Alpha.

- Ow!

- Sorry.

Hey, Boog, let's go.

(hums throatily)

(fly buzzes)

(spits)

(fly stops buzzing)

Ah.

Now, my son, you are ready

to go out into the world.

Awesome, Booger.

And don't forget the whipped cream.

So, you guys just get

the nerds into my car alone,

and I'll take care of the rest.

You understand?

- Yo.

- You bet.

Great.

Sir?

Oh, yes, Sunny, I have a job for you.

Mr Lattimore'll explain it to you.

Sunny, I just feel terrible about

the way I treated the Tri-Lambs,

and I thought maybe you guys could take 'em

out and, I don't know, show 'em a good time.

Actually, you could use my car if you want.

Well, that's awfully sweet of you

but, I mean, I have to work.

- Buzz?

- Part of your job is taking care of customers.

These are important guests.

I want to make them happy.

You what?

Earlier, I erred in my judgement.

These Tri-Lambs are, uh, good nerds. Men.

Look, just do your job, will you?

Yes, sir.

And, uh, Sunny...

have a good time, OK?

Yes, sir.

Bye-bye.

You know, guys, Gilbert, UN Jefferson, all

our brothers, they're gonna be so proud of us.

Gents?

Uh-oh. I think we're in their seats, guys.

(Lamar) It looks like

they're coming to talk to us.

(Booger) Whatever's in this drink,

I want a case.

It's not the drinks, it's us. Guys.

See, we're winners, and it shows.

- Shall we?

- What? Jump 'em?

Talk to 'em. Find out what they're like,

what they're thinking about.

- Find out what they look like naked.

- Find out if she's got a brother.

Find out how long they've

been listening to us.

- Hi, Sunny.

- Hello again.

- Hi.

- Yo.

- Nice day.

- Beautiful.

- Wow.

- Yo.

- Paradise.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes