Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise Page #5

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- It is.

- (Lori) You bet.

- (Michelle) Yo.

So, you wanna get funky or what?

(# "Funky Town" by Pseudo Echo)

- Lewis?

- Yeah?

Would you rub some

of this lotion on my back?

- Yeah.

- Thanks.

- What are you doing?

- Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Well... actually, the truth of the matter is,

Sunny, I'm a little nervous.

- Nervous?

- Yeah.

I mean... I'm not really

the cool dude I seem to be.

- Oh, no?

- Uh-uh.

I mean, I've never even... really rubbed lotion

on anybody except Poindexter there.

- I can't believe this.

- What?

Uh, rubbing lotion on a girl

who, uh, could date anybody she wanted

in the entire state of Florida.

- I don't date that much at all.

- Get outta town.

Guys like Roger ask you out all the time.

Guys like Roger barely have enough

glial cells to be considered primates.

- It's the shyer guys you wish would ask.

- Did you just say "glial cells"?

- Yeah. I was speaking facetiously, of course.

- Of course.

Everybody knows they

are measured not in quantity

but in respect to their ratio

to neurons in the parietal lobe.

Sunny, you're amazing.

Hey, guys, we're thirsty.

You wanna go get us some brewski?

Brews... Yeah! Yeah,

we'll get you some brews.

What do you say we kill off

some of those excess glial cells?

- OK.

- We'll be back in a flash.

Guys, come on. Beer run.

Don't worry. We'll be gone in no time.

What do you mean?

# (Lamar and Wormser)

4,749,681,999 bottles of beer on the wall

# 4,749,681,999 bottles of beer

# If one of those bottles should happen to fall

# 4,749,681,998 bottles of beer on the wall

(Lewis) OK, you guys, you get the suds.

I gotta go drain the lizard.

Bye.

Get some chips, Poindexter.

Anything you want, Admiral.

I got beer! I got beer! I got...

- Freeze!

- Busted.

Get your hands up!

Turn around! You're under arrest.

- For what?

- Grand theft auto.

A Roger Lattimore reported this vehicle

stolen from the Royal Flamingo.

Oh, no. That's a misunderstanding, Officer.

That car was lent by

the beautiful girls who are our dates.

Beautiful girls? Oh.

Get your hands up! Turn around.

(guard) Let's go, fellas.

- Come on.

- "We're winners" you said.

- "They can see it" you said.

- OK, so I'm stupid.

- You believed me. What does that make you?

- A felon.

Right here.

- No, I'm only 15. I'm just a kid.

- That's not what it says here, Senator.

(inmate) Damn! I gotta get outta here.

I liked her. I actually believed her.

I was thinking "Lewis,

this beautiful girl, she likes you."

You were thinking,

just using the wrong head.

There's something

of greater importance here.

Yeah? Like what?

Like it's gonna be a bit inconvenient

finishing college from jail.

- I studied really hard this year.

- (Poindexter) Know what occurred to me?

The amendment Lewis cosigned could be

used against us to destroy the Tri-Lambs.

Gosh darn it to heck anyway.

Do you mind? I'm cursing.

Hey! Would you back off?

We're just speaking quietly amongst

ourselves and it does not pertain to you.

- What are we gonna tell Dean Ulich?

- Listen, you little geek...

Listen, buttface! I'm in no mood

to deal with an idiot like you!

Now, why don't you just sit down

before you really make me mad?!

Lewis!

Lewis, do you realise you just

said "buttface" to the missing link?

- I did?

- And really loud, too.

(chanting) No more nerds! No more nerds!

No more nerds! No more nerds!

No more nerds!

No more nerds! No more nerds!

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Yo, I'm looking for my homeboys.

Yeah? Well, it looks like you got us instead.

Hey, Rog. I thought we were gonna

get rid of these nerds.

- Yeah, so did l.

- What did you do with the Tri-Lambdas?

Argh! What did you say, nerd?

Tell me what you did with the Tri-Lambdas

now or you guys are in big trouble.

- (Gundy) Big trouble.

- (Winston) Big trouble.

Fellas, relax. Come here, Stewart.

You're right. I should tell you.

- It's really very sad.

- Sad? What are you talkin' about?

Well, you see, the guys...

the guys are all in jail.

What?

- Yeah, they... they stole my car.

- They stole your car?

- But you wanna know the saddest part?

- Yeah.

They're about to get their whole fraternity

thrown out of the conference.

- What do you mean "thrown out"?

- Ogre, didn't he call you a homo?

Homo?

Whoa!

Hey, Buzzo, we've got a problem here.

Hey, nerd! I thought I'd fired you.

(Ogre laughs) Nerd!

Oh, my God! What happened?

- We're in trouble.

- What's wrong?

They said the Tri-Lambs stole a car

and they were thrown in jail.

But I know my friends wouldn't do that.

- Wait a minute. Who told you this?

- Them.

- Good shot.

- Here's a problem that just won't go away.

Yeah. Just like my crabs.

- Wha...?

- Oh, Jesus.

- Let's go finish these geeks off.

- Guys, it's just a joke.

Guys, I don't have crabs.

Seriously! Guys,

I'll show you if you wanna see.

- So long, suckers.

- You guys are all right?

- Stewart!

- Hey!

How are you? How was doin' hard time?

Hard time! How did you get

the money to bail us out?

Oh, I didn't. She did.

You.

Lewis, I'm sorry. I swear I didn't know.

- (Sunny) Lewis, wait!

- I say we fight back now.

It doesn't matter any more. They'll just find

another way to try to get rid of us.

- They'll send somebody else like her.

- What?

Yeah. You're not worth

the lotion I squirted on you.

- Lewis, I swear to you, I didn't know.

- Oh, I'm so sure.

Just get 'em in the van.

We just don't fit in.

Yo. You sound like I used to sound

before you taught me how to fight for myself.

Well, why don't you just

forget it? Don't you understand?

It doesn't matter that we're good dressers,

or we have good personal hygiene.

No, wait.

Don't you get it, man?

People don't want us around.

No sh*t, Skolnick.

Surprise!

This way, nerd!

- Come on! Come on, let's go.

- (Wormser) Help!

(Ogre) Come on, we gotta get

outta here! Let's go! Hurry!

- (Ogre) Come on, get him out here.

- (Tiny) Come on.

Ogre, you swine! You might

have brought us out here,

but there is no way you'll make

me stay in that cabin another minute.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah!

- Ogre. Ogre. In the water.

- Oh, that's right. I forgot.

- You guys are unbelievable.

- We spared you, didn't we?

Aaaargh!

Whoa!

Aargh!

Aaaaaaargh!

- (Ogre) Hope you like living with the fish!

- (Tiny) Have a nice swim!

OK, fellas, let's get outta here.

No, wait a minute. I'm getting

the hell outta here. Excuse me.

Weird chick, man.

- Excuse me.

- What's with you?

(Roger) Hey, Sunny! Have fun with the geeks.

Hey, nerd! We sure are gonna miss you

tomorrow at the convention,

when we get your asses exterminated!

I can't wait to tell everybody

how we outsmarted 'em, we framed 'em,

and we got 'em arrested, for doin' nothin'!

Ogre, listen to me, and try and understand.

If you tell them that, it's gonna give us away.

Let's just keep it our little secret, OK?

Secret, my ass. I can take care of anything.

- Fellas?

- I'll tell the world!

- He's history.

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