Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation Page #6

and discriminating

against the members...

of the Lambda Lambda Lambda

fraternity at Adams College.

Get out of here.

Your Honor...

there is a very definite abridgment

of my clients' civil rights here.

Civil rights, my butt. There's no mention

of nerds in the Constitution.

Get out of my courtroom.

Ha! Thanks a lot. Appreciate it.

Mmm.

[Stan Laughing, Chattering]

Bye.

Adams isn't any different

than anywhere else.

We've been kidding

ourselves all these years.

People still hate us.

- What are we gonna do now?

- Isn't there some way we can appeal it?

Not really.

But, my little nerdlings...

when you're really

down and out...

there's only one thing

you can do-

And that is party

with an Omega Mu!

- [Women Cheering]

- Mu!

[Pop]

[Continues]

I just love the way you

Americans bust a move!

[Pop]

Your love line is very long.

- It is?

- Oh, yes.

Your palm says you

are very sensitive...

and will be a wonderful lover.

It does?

Wanna see if it's true?

Oh, well. Wait! Wait!

Not here.

Meet me upstairs.

[Continues]

It's been 10 years since I've slow-danced

with a Mu, Toyota.

Enjoy it while you can.

Hey, Ira, I think

I'm about to be de-virginized.

- With a girl?

- Yeah.

[Continues]

- Hey, what's goin' on here?

- Oh, uh, Harold...

I'd like you to meet Mechtilda.

Mechtilda-

[Speaking Foreign Language]

Mechtilda is a Kurdish

foreign exchange student.

Oh, a nerd and a Kurd?

A Kurd nerd. How great.

- [Laughing]

- [Nerdy Laughing]

[Harold]

I got to go.

Don't forget your party hat.

[Laughs]

I love college.

All right! Everybody stay where you are.

This is a raid.

Excuse me. Um, could you come back

in about 10 minutes?

I'm Malcolm Pennington III, the Tri-Lamb

president. Do you have a warrant?

Of course.

Hey, why are y'all

invading our house?

We have reason to believe there are

illegal substances on these premises.

- That's impossible. This is a drug-free house.

- It is?

Any member using drugs is thrown

out of the house immediately.

You don't eat meat.

You don't do drugs.

What's wrong with kids today?

We've had the benefit of learning

from your generation's mistakes.

We believe in just saying no...

so that-in all due respect-

we don't turn out like you.

Oh, well, that makes sense.

- Then you have no objection

to us taking a look around?

- Not at all.

Oh, Mother!

[Policeman] It looks like somebody's about

to harvest the bumper crop.

This can't be.

We've been framed.

- I think you've gone a little too far.

- Oh, you do, do you?

I don't like it. I don't want to be a part

of anything to with drugs.

You'll be a part of anything

I want you to be a part of.

You understand that, Gable?

We got those stinkin' nerds

right where want 'em.

[All Arguing]

This is depressing.

Perhaps I should play a traditional tune

from my country.

That always lifts my spirits

and makes everyone happy.

[Harmonica]

Please.

[Continues]

I'd rather get the chair.

- [Door Opens]

- Ruth, tell Stan I'm here.

Um, Dean Gable,

Lew Skolnick is here to see you.

I'm busy. Tell him

to make an appointment.

- You can't go in there, Lew.

- The hell I can't.

What are you doing in here?

- I told you I was busy.

- You know they were framed.

The police found dope everywhere.

Stan, you know these guys.

They wouldn't do anything like this.

Who knows what a bunch

of nerds would do?

You can't mean that.

- But I do.

- This guy a friend of yours?

No.

Well, you sure dress like friends.

Did you just say

we're not friends?

You're just saying that

'cause he's here.

I said it because I meant it.

You know, you haven't changed, Lewis.

You're still a nerd.

And you always will be.

You used me, Stan. I defended you

to everybody who put you down.

I wrote your speeches.

I showed you how to use a computer.

I even fixed you up

with that nice girl Tina.

I thought you were

my friend, Stan.

I'm back. And this time I'm not

taking any prisoners.

[Nerdy Laughing]

- You're free.

- Who paid our bail?

I don't know.

- I did.

- [Betty] Lewis!

Oh! Oh!

- You're back!

- [Nerdy Laugh]

Where did you come up

with that kind of scratch?

Ooh. Betty,

I hope you don't mind.

I mortgaged the house.

Mind?

I've never been happier in my life.

There's another little problem.

They've confiscated the Tri-Lamb house

and everything in it...

and they've given it

to the Alpha Betas.

- Can they do that?

- I'm afraid they can.

So, Betty,

if it's okay with you...

I'd like all the Tri-Lambs

to stay in our house.

I insist.

- Oh, Betty, you're the greatest.

- [Laughs]

[All]

Betty! Betty! Betty!

Betty! Betty! Betty!

- [Betty] Oh!

- [Chanting Continues]

I knew you'd

come though, Uncle Lew.

Uncle Lewis.

From now on, I'm Lewis Skolnick.

You are such a nerd.

Damn right I am.

- Nerds!

- Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!

- [Chanting Continues]

- Let's go kick some Alpha Beta ass!

[All Cheering]

Hey, where's my regular barbers at?

Oh, we fired 'em, 'cause they were nerds.

Mmm!

- Oh, good.

- But don't worry.

We'll take good care of you.

Hey, you're not makin' it

too short back there, are you?

Oh, no, no, no.

It's my vision of you at work.

It's a look of the '90s.

It's very now.

Very end of the millennium.

Hey, I heard you two shaved

two nerds' heads a while back.

- [Laughs]

- Yeah. It was great, huh?

I know.

Those nerds are us.

[Laughs]

The girls are gonna love it.

[Nerdy Laughing]

- You called for a plumber?

- Shower's broken. I need to bathe.

[Sniffs] I can tell. You've got

some righteous B.O., dude.

Just fix the water.

[Groaning]

Oh!

[Sputtering, Babbling]

[Humming]

I've got a surprise

for you, Alpha Betas.

Now where is that

Pimple Clear?

[Robotic Whirring]

[Whirring Continues]

[Harold] We're here at the world-renowned

Tri-Lamb fraternity bathroom...

where we've secretly replaced

their pimple clear...

with pimple-inducing

ingredients.

Let's see if they notice.

[Wolf Howling]

Bobo, this house

gives me the creeps.

Oh. It's okay, cream puff.

I'm here to protect you.

What's that on your face?

My nose.

- There's another one.

- Another what?

And there's another one.

And another one.

[Panting]

Yuck! They're spreading!

[Screaming]

[Sobs]

[Panting]

The nerds gave me pimples!

The nerds gave me pimples!

The nerds gave me pimples!

[Spits]

[Laughing Continues]

Good job, Tri-Lambs.

But it's time to get serious.

We've got to take back what's ours

and show everyone...

that the '90s can't

function without nerds.

And that was

Guido and the Tour Guides...

with their new hit,

"Agent Eddie."

What are you doing?

I'm on the air.

We're commandeering the Adams College

radio station in the name of nerd freedom.

There's no greater friend of the nerd

than the American deejay.

If we weren't all nerds ourselves,

we'd be on television.

Stan, have I got news for you.

What's the matter

with your face, Orrin?

Some secret nerd concoction.

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