Revenge Of The Pink Panther Page #5

Are you kidding?

Douvier would shoot me on sight.

Not if he doesn't recognize you.

And he won't.

Why not?

We will leave that

up to the great Balls.

The great Balls?

At your service!

Please forgive the condition

of my establishment...

but as the lnspector knows--

- Chief lnspector knows--

- Auguste.

So sorry. I beg your pardon.

But as the Chief lnspector knows,

we were bombed.

Sounds like you still are.

Almost all my collection

was either destroyed or damaged.

Starting Monday,

I have to have a fire sale.

You could call it

"The Great Balls of Fire" sale.

A catchy suggestion.

Very good.

Cunny!

I can't tell you how good it is

to see that you are still alive.

It has been my privilege

to serve the good lnspector...

the Chief lnspector,

for, lo, this many years.

Thirteen, to be precise.

And his reported demise

was a real blow to me.

Something's coming.

Yes, Cunny, you are not dreaming.

Our friend, our customer,

is alive!

Hello, Cunny.

Now, how can I serve you?

Through wind and mud,

snow and hail...

whether long or short,

dark or pale, remember...

that when duty calls...

you've got Balls.

I gotta sit down.

Yes, of course. Cunny! Quick.

Please, please, please.

Come along. That's right.

There you are.

- Sit. Come, come, come. Sit, sit.

- You're not serious.

There has been no time

to get new furniture.

Believe me, since the blast,

he's much more comfortable.

Please sit.

Matter of fact,

I've been sleeping on him.

Chief lnspector?

I'm leaving for Hong Kong

in the morning.

Hong Kong?

Could you pick me up

some cheap coolie hats?

My dear Auguste,

I need your best Hong Kong disguise.

Also, I will need something

extra special in the godfather line.

Doctor, please, you must help me.

Is Clouseau real...

or am I going mad again?

- What do you think?

- What do I think? What can I think?

If that nincompoop is really alive...

and the things I heard are true,

he'll probably be decorated again...

for rounding up

the biggest drug ring in France...

and I'll be a laughingstock.

That sounds reasonable.

What are you going to do?

What choice do I have?

I either commit myself and come back

to be locked up in here...

or...

I go to Hong Kong.

- I don't think I can do this.

- Of course you can.

Just think yellow and follow me.

"Mr. and Mrs. Low Key."

You stupid lunk! What the hell

do you think you're doing?

Absolutely ruined my suit!

Why the hell don't you look

where you're going?

I'm Mr. Algo. When Mr. Scallini arrives,

have me paged in the bar.

Certainly, Mr. Algo.

Who is gonna pay for my suit?

See that man there?

That's Guy Algo,

Philippe's right-hand man.

This Scallini must be Mr. Big

from New York.

Listen, we'll go up to the room.

You stay here ten minutes,

then tell Mr.--

- Algo.

- Right, yes. Algo.

That Mr. You-Know-Who has arrived,

and bring him to the room.

- Mr. You-Know-Who?

- Right. I will be Mr. You-Know-Who.

Come, Ming Loy.

You got a reservation for Scallini?

Page Mr. Algo in the bar.

Tell him Mr. Scallini is here.

- What do you think you're doing?

- Mr. Scallini in lobby.

You heard what I said to him?

Dumb Frenchman.

"Cochon."

That means pig.

I tell Mr. Scallini you're here.

- Listen, boss--

- It's not boss. It's me!

Where is he?

In the bathroom getting into

his godfather disguise.

Algo's in the next room. Scallini's

down the hall in the Tang suite.

- Marvelous.

- We rode up in the same elevator.

Maybe I can reach him

before he contacts Philippe.

- What are you going to do?

- I'm not sure. Keep your eye on Algo.

- Ice?

- Please.

- Soda?

- Yes.

I hope it's not too strong.

I'm sure it will be fine.

Hey! Mama Mia.

Spaghettini du AI Pacino!

Carlo, Cato and me got a little business

to talk over.

We won't be long.

Have another drink.

Viva Zapata!

- Where is she?

- I don't know.

Get out--

Hello, Mr. Marchione.

- Hey. Come on in.

- Thank you.

- Thank you very much.

- Can I get you a drink?

No, nothing, thank you.

It's Simone.

You have a good memory.

I never forget a pretty face.

Boss, this is Simone.

That's Douvier's personal--

Secretary. How do you do,

Mr. Scallini?

We never met before.

If we meet before, you call me Julio.

- That's a nice hand.

- Thank you. That's only the right one.

- You type, too.

- 100 words a minute.

I may faint.

Mr. Douvier has asked me to apologize.

He's going to be a little late.

If you like, I'd be happy

to keep you company until he arrives.

If I like?

Does my mother cook spaghetti?

To the Gannet Transaction.

Shall I tell Douvier

we're on our way?

Don't forget the money.

What?

Throat! Back!

Choking!

You want me to hit you on the back.

We're on our way.

- Mr. Douvier will meet us in the lobby.

- Yeah. Great.

- Is that it?

- Yeah.

Listen, buddy, I take care of my body,

my body takes care of me.

You know what I'm driving at?

I'll buy some cigarettes, huh?

Yeah, smoke a few. When Douvier shows,

I'll meet you in the lobby.

Right.

Be right with you.

What the hell is going on here?

Lee Kee shipyards.

- Where'd he go?

- I think to Lee Kee shipyards.

My cart!

You see this? I can tell by

your heart line you're a passionate man.

See how long this is?

Keep watching.

It's going to get longer.

- Hello.

- Lee Kee shipyards. Douvier.

It was Douvier!

The doorman heard him tell the driver

to go to the Lee Kee shipyard.

Something is caccuzza around here.

Your boss and a couple boys

just left the hotel.

Really? I wonder why they did that?

You got me.

Why don't we go ask him?

Yes. Okay, I understand.

Douvier left the hotel

about five minutes ago.

He was with two men. He told the driver

to go to the Lee Kee shipyard.

I'm sure it was that nincompoop.

I'm sure Mr. Douvier didn't intend

to be gone very long.

- We'll see.

- It doesn't make much sense.

If you leave,

and then he comes back--

Stop worrying.

You give yourself wrinkles.

What about this Lee Kee shipyard?

Perfectly legitimate

as far as I know.

They build a line of

expensive power cruisers and sailboats.

Maybe Mr. Douvier

is just buying himself a yacht.

Lee Kee shipyards?

Yeah, that's what

the como si chiamare said.

Move it!

Come along!

This is Mr. Chow,

our Far Eastern representative.

- Mr. Scallini.

- It's an honor to meet you.

- You remember Mr. Algo. Shall we go?

- This way, please.

After you launch the boat,

we'll go to Mr. Chow's office.

You can sign the ownership papers.

Everything legal and aboveboard.

Above the board. Good, good.

- Where is it? You know--

- I understood you were told.

No. I was told.

But I'm checking, you know.

- In the keel.

- The old keel ploy. Yes.

All you have to do is sail her

around the Caribbean for a while...

haul her out of the water,

take the midsection out of the keel...

and voila, 40 kilos

of the finest merchandise...

your experts have ever tested.

I'll tell you, it better hell be

the best merchandise...

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