Revenge Of The Pink Panther Page #4

Keep in constant contact.

I am extremely grateful

for this excellent piece of information.

Thar she blows!

Once again, I thank you

for this most useful tip.

And if there is anything

I can ever do to repay you--

Now that you mention it,

Chief lnspector--

Sixteen chests

on a dead man's rum

Yo ho ho in the bottle

of the chest

Drink to the devils

and done for the rums

Hoooooooooooooooooo!

Do it some more

Yeah, give me some more

All right

Come on, yeah

Slide it

Move 'em out

Move 'em out

If you mess around with women, boy

You wanna fix the trimmin'

Better listen to me, cousin--

She's coming in now.

- Bonsoir, Vic.

- How you doing, Simone?

Mr. Toledo, Mr. Vancouver.

What's happening?

You can show us to my usual table.

How about something near the floor?

Easier for dancing.

No, thank you.

I want my usual table.

Is something wrong?

It is Mr. Douvier's table,

ain't it, love?

No, it really ain't, love, but if

you're worried about Mr. Douvier...

why don't you give him a call?

I wouldn't want you to get in trouble

with your boss.

- He ain't my boss.

- He ain't?

Then why you paying him

all that money every month?

- That ain't cool, baby.

- You ain't seen nothing yet. Come on.

Where we going?

We don't want to be obvious. We've got

to make our entrance through the back...

in disguise,

as I told you, you fool.

Get up here.

- It's a bakery.

- I know that.

Come on. At least

you're not yellow anymore.

This time I'm going to stand

on your shoulders.

What good would that do?

- Because I'm taller than you, you fool.

- Oh, yeah.

Make a cradle.

Get rid of that.

I can't reach it.

You'll have to find something

to stand on.

All right! Let me see some, baby.

Come on.

Do it, baby.

Let me go!

- Can you reach it?

- Yes.

- Hey, are you okay?

- No.

- You know something? You're terrific.

- What?

You're terrific. You saved my life.

Come with me.

- Where?

- Over here. I want to save your life.

- Let's go. Come on.

- Oh, God.

-Come with me before the killers see us.

-What killers?

- I'll tell you at my apartment.

- What apartment?

My apartment.

Oh, my God!

And mine, too.

I'm soaked to the skin.

Yes, I have received

considerable soak also.

Get out of those wet clothes before

you catch your death of pneumonia.

Yes. What shall I do with my coat?

I don't want to spoil your beautiful--

Just put it down anywhere.

Put it on the floor. That's fine.

Help yourself.

I'm going to change.

I'll bring you a robe.

I'm gonna put on some music.

- You know, it's strange.

- What?

I say, it's strange.

Yes, I know.

And I said "what?"

- You mean, what is strange?

- Yes.

It's strange...

that I have never yet

set foot in this building...

but I have the distinct impression

that I have been here before.

It's called deja vu.

I have it all the time.

Yeah, deja vu.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

- You okay?

- Yes.

That feels good.

It's not going to do you much good

if you don't take your pants off.

- What?

- Take your pants off.

Forgot about those.

Look at me.

Look at my hands.

I'm shaking like a leaf.

I can't stop shaking.

I know what it is.

You know what it is?

I'm just not used to being killed.

- That's my first time, you know?

- I know, but listen.

When you have been killed as many times

as I have, you get used to it.

- Really?

- Yes, oh, yes.

Yes, indeed. I'll put this here.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- This is for you.

- Yes, of course.

- Then this must be yours.

- Thank you. Cheers.

Yes. Anyway--

- You have nothing to fear.

- Yes, I have.

- No, you don't.

- Yes, I have.

No. You see, I am an officer

of the law.

- The "lew"?

- What?

You said you are an officer

of the "lew"?

That is correct. Yes, yes.

I am Chief Inspector of the surete.

What?

You doubt me.

No, I don't doubt you.

Why should I doubt you?

- That's right. Why should you?

- If you say so, I don't.

Who were those men

who tried to kill you?

- Killers.

- How do you know?

- Because they work for Douvier.

- Douvier? I know that name.

Everyone in France knows that name.

He's a millionaire businessman.

Yes, of course. Douvier the

millionaire businessman. I knew I knew.

But, how many people

do you think know...

that Douvier the millionaire businessman

is also Douvier the French connection?

How many?

I suppose his mother, for one.

Why do you suppose he wanted

to have me killed?

Elementary.

He wanted you dead.

- You all right?

- I got singed.

- I'm sorry about your robe.

- That's all right.

Tell me about this Douvier.

I was his mistress and

private secretary for two years.

I know enough about Philippe to send him

to prison for his whole life.

You keep talking about this Douvier.

But who is Philippe?

- Philippe Douvier.

- His son?

Whose son? He has no son.

- His brother then?

- His brother is Fred.

- Then it has to be his father.

- His father's dead.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Who killed him?

- No one. He died of natural causes.

- Then who is this Philippe?

I want to see some identification.

Right now.

Right now.

I want to see some identification.

If you're not a policeman, then I

shouldn't be telling you these things.

- Can you keep a secret?

- I don't know. That depends.

Brace yourself for what

I'm about to tell you.

I am none other...

then Staff lnspector

Jacques Clouseau.

No, you're not.

- Yes, I am.

- No, you're not.

I am.

You're not.

Yes, you are.

Oh, my God!

I admit it's not

a good photograph, but--

But I saw your funeral on television.

Yes. Yes.

Even the pope was there.

Cheers.

But if you're not dead, who's dead?

A wandering transvestite

took my car...

and stole my clothes at gunpoint.

I have been working under the covers

tracking the killer.

- The killer's Douvier!

- What?

He wanted to impress the godfather.

What? You mean Douvier killed

a wandering transvestite...

just to impress his godfather?

The man's unthinkable.

The door.

- What's wrong with it?

- I saw the knob turn.

Hurry.

- I wonder whose apartment this is.

- I don't know.

The other one's probably upstairs

waiting in my room.

How do you know there's another one?

Because assassins always travel

in pairs. It's a company rule.

Do you know what

the Gannet Transaction is?

The Gannet Transaction? What is that?

It's a code name for

a 50-million franc heroin sale.

Philippe's going to Hong Kong on Tuesday

to meet with the American buyer.

Hong Kong.

I don't know how it fits in,

but the Gannet's a boat.

What are you doing?

- I know why this place looks familiar.

- Why?

Chief lnspector Dreyfus lives here.

I think he has received a faint.

Wake up, Chief lnspector.

Wake up.

Chief lnspector?

Hello? Are you in there,

Chief lnspector?

Hello?

There's no reply.

It's no use.

We will have to go to Hong Kong

without him.

- We?

- Yes.

You, I and Cato,

who will translate for us.

Not me. I am not going to Hong Kong.

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