Revenge Of The Pink Panther Page #3

Password?

I demand to know exactly

what is going on in here.

Just about anything

your little heart desires.

But first,

why don't you relax?

Give Benson your hat and coat...

have a drink,

get to know the girls...

and then when you are up to it...

you can choose from a wide variety

of exciting little diversions.

But I see that you already have

a preference.

Allow me to introduce Tanya,

the lotus eater.

What else does she do?

I warn you, Tanya, the Easter lotus...

I am opposed

to the women's libs.

Man is the master,

and women's place is in the home.

And another round-eye

bites the dust.

Cato!

Take your hands off me,

you Oriental fool!

You are under arrest.

Anything you say will be taken down--

Arrest? Arrest?

You have the right to remain silent,

but let me tell you this.

I am not your ordinary

run-of-the-mill transvestite.

Say no more!

What was that talk

about arresting us?

-He was just kidding. Weren't you, boss?

-Boss?

I used to work for him.

He used to be a cop.

A cop?

Tell them you were kidding, boss.

Yes, he is right.

I was just kidding.

Cross my heart...

and hope to meet you again sometime.

And you, madame...

and you, too.

You two should be ashamed

of yourselves.

And you! I want to talk to you!

- You come in here! Listen, now.

- Please, boss!

I thought you were dead.

As a tribute to my memory,

you open up...

this Chinese nooky factory!

I had to do something

to keep busy.

Besides, a first-rate joint like this

can make 300,000, 400,000 a year!

- Is that net?

- No, gross.

But even so, a smart operator can

clear himself a couple hundred grand.

And that ain't exactly chicken feed.

And ten years on Devil's lsland ain't

exactly the chicken's feed, either...

my greedy little yellow pimp.

I'll have to close up anyway

now that you're alive.

Yes, yes.

Normally, that is precisely

what you would have to do.

But these are not normal times.

Someone has just tried to kill me.

That's normal.

But this time, that someone thinks

he has succeeded.

Except for you and me,

the whole world believes that I am dead.

And in this case,

death has its advantages.

No one will know it is me...

as I glide through the underworld

like a shadow.

- Good evening, Commissioner.

- Charles!

Thank you.

I'm sorry to be late,

but as you must have heard...

some lunatic was hiding in my closet.

Yes. Russo.

Russo?

You remember.

Why wouldn't I remember?

It was only three years ago.

Of course. Claude Russo,

alias Claudine Russo.

Armed robbery dressed as a woman.

But he got five years.

He was released on parole

three months ago.

So it could have been Russo.

He is clever.

Clever enough to fool Francois?

I like Francois, but fooling him

no longer constitutes...

an act of more than average cleverness,

shall we say?

I always thought

he was rather a good policeman.

When he was my assistant,

he was a very good policeman...

with a bright future.

But then he was assigned to Clouseau.

Now, Charles.

- All that's in the past.

- Yes, of course.

Tomorrow morning...

when they plant him six feet deep

and shovel in the dirt...

I shall be truly free.

Unless he's figured out a way

to come back from the dead...

nothing that anyone does or says about

him will ever make any difference again.

- Shall we do some work?

- That reminds me.

What is it?

The chief thinks

that you should give the eulogy.

- The what?

- The tribute.

Me?

- You knew him intimately.

- I hated him intimately.

But you're the expert who's going

to track down his murderers.

I'm the expert who would love

to kiss his murderers. Understand?

The P.R. people loved the angle.

Sacrilege! I won't do it.

Politics.

No. I'm a good Catholic.

- So is the chief's wife.

- I don't care.

- What's she got to do with it?

- She wrote the speech.

Ladies and gentlemen...

honored guests...

dear friends...

we are gathered here...

to say good-bye to a, uh...

a great man.

Not only was he

a model police officer...

a brilliant detective...

admired and respected

by his fellow officers...

and all those

who were fortunate enough...

enough...

enough to know him...

he was above all else...

a modest man.

His kind will not pass this way again...

and our loss is surely...

heaven's gain.

Present arms!

Fire!

- Get rid of that woman.

- We'll talk about it later.

I want your answer now

or I sue for divorce.

- I'm warning you.

- Are you going to have me killed?

Gentlemen...

you will be relieved to know

that our friend in New York...

was very impressed

by our little demonstration.

It was a good idea, Guy.

The Gannet transaction is on again.

-The same delivery date?

-Unless there is something I don't know.

I spoke to Hong Kong.

They say the Gannet's on schedule.

Good. That means

that this time next week...

we can declare ourselves

a very healthy dividend...

Ietting our international colleagues

know that the French connection...

is back in business.

I'll be at the farm. I do not want to be

contacted except in extreme emergency.

Meeting adjourned.

Guy, stick around.

I might need you.

Right.

Miss Le Gree, would you come in

for a moment, please?

What's wrong with you?

- We have to stop seeing each other.

- Your wife?

That witch!

How long this time?

I'm afraid permanently.

Permanently?

- Permanently?

- Yes.

- She gave me an ultimatum.

- Like you have no choice in the matter.

- I haven't.

- You have to. Get rid of her!

- My own wife?

- Get rid of her. Out! Why can't you?

She's got enough evidence

in her safety deposit box to ruin me.

Her attorney has been told that

if anything accidental happens to her...

to give her box

to the authorities.

- Then get rid of the authorities.

- What do you think I am?

Get rid of her attorney.

- I couldn't afford the scandal.

- I'll show you a scandal.

You know I don't love her.

I need her respectability.

- Permanently?

- Yes!

Six years together, just washed up?

Just over with?

- I'm afraid so. I'm sorry.

- That's just wonderful, isn't it?

You obviously can't go on

being my secretary.

I have deposited a substantial amount

of money in your bank account--

- I don't want your money.

- What do you want?

I don't know what I want.

But I'll think of something!

Leaving early?

Later than you think, Mr. Algo.

Something you want me to do?

Not unless she decides

to be indiscreet.

If you have to, be sure

you make it look like an accident.

Ahoy!

Ahoy, the skipper!

Hello, up there in the fog.

Don't worry.

It's only an old salty

Swedish sea dog...

out there from the salty seas,

you know.

Pumpin' the air in the parrot.

Naughty bird afraid of the fog.

Swine leg.

Hello, lnspector.

Chief lnspector.

I will keep under the covers.

No one must suspect a thing.

What do you have of special interest...

to my secret investigations?

There's something big going down

at Le Club Foot.

Le Club Foot? Remarkable.

Keep your--

Keep your eyes and ears peeled.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes