Rhythm on the River

---

d d [ Conga ]

Do people in New York always

act like this, Uncle john?

No, not always.

These are

theatrical people.

They're happy because

it's Christmas Eve and

they've all got jobs.

Doing what?

They're going to be in

Oliver Courtney's new show.

He writes the

words and music.

Which one

is Mr. Courtney?

Standing right here.

Where?

Here. See?

With the beautiful girl.

Every time you write a

new song, I could kiss you.

That spurs me to

greater effort, Millie.

Someday I must try

a symphony.

Oliver!

I don't suppose there's a

more successful songwriter

in the country today.

And who is the man

at the piano?

Huh?

That's Mr. Courtney's

assistant, Billy Starbuck.

He's sort of a

Jack-of-all-trades.

Everybody, let's have

a square dance.

Choose your partners.

But, Oliver, we came

to hear your music.

Yes.

Oliver, how 'bout playing

some of the music

for the new show?

Please, Oliver.

I've got nothing

presentable yet.

You said you'd play one

of the songs tonight.

We came expressly

for that purpose.

He's just teasing.

Play my big number in which

I come out of the oyster.

Oyster?

Charlie, what's this

about an oyster?

Oh, I... forgot to tell you.

Grafskaya has done us

a ballet where Millie

comes out of an oyster.

That's just marvelous!

My song is called, ''What Would

Shakespeare Have Said?''

Play it. If it's good,

we'll have her come out of

a big volume of Shakespeare.

[ Woman ]

Oh, that's impossible.

But then I can't wear

my bathing suit.

Never mind that.

Oliver,

we're all waiting.

[ Whistles ]

Charlie, would you

excuse me for a moment?

Excuse me, everybody.

Oh, he's not

going to play!

Keep that other door closed.

Don't let anyone in.

This is a fne time

to be getting here!

Where have you been?

Who me? I've been visiting

my uncle at Tarrytown.

Yes, you.

Don't you realize I've got

a room full of people

waiting to hear the new song?

Well...

here she is!

It's wet.

That's sweat.

How'd it work out?

Don't you want

to hear it?

It's a good idea to know

what you've composed.

All right.

Play it over softly.

Sing the lyrics.

This may be a

little tough for you.

Is this your

handwriting?

Yes, sir.

Want me to play it

the way it's written?

You could surprise me.

I will, honeysuckle.

Hey, hey, hey!

Wait, wait.

Is that in there?

[ Chuckles ]

d What would Shakespeare

have said d

d If he had ever

seen you d

d Well, that's exactly what

I've been trying to say d

d Take charming

and adorable d

d They're practically

obsolete d

d And I think

it's deplorable d

d To depend on a word

like sweet d

d What would Shakespeare

have said d

d If you had lived

in his day d

d I only know how immensely

thrilled he would be d

d I love you

wouldn't be strong enough d

d He'd coin a phrase

instead d

d 'Cause you're oh, so

Darn it d

d What would Shakespeare

have said d d

That's easily

the best thing

you ever wrote.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Have you got

the orchestrations?

Here's the piano part.

Here's the brass.

Here's the reeds.

The strings--

Oh, here's the strings.

Here's the bass part.

There you are.

Thanks.

There's a man writes

a great lyric!

d What would Shakespeare

have said d

d If he had

ever seen you d

d Well, that's exactly what

I've been trying to say d

Lovely!

d Take charming

and adorable d

d They're practically

obsolete d

d And I think

it's deplorable d

d To depend on a word

like sweet d

She doesn't get any life

into it, no bounce.

Don't you think so?

It's lavender

and old lace...

but it's gruesome.

d I only know how immensely

thrilled he would be d

d I love you

wouldn't be strong enough d

d He'd coin a phrase

instead d

d 'Cause you're oh, so

Darn it d

d What would Shakespeare

have said d d

What would you like now?

Some more of my stuff?

Go on,john.

Give 'em some more.

Um, forgive me for

Just a minute, will you?

Say, it went over pretty good,

didn't it?

Oh, pardon me.

I was just going.

No, no.

Wait a minute, Bob.

This being Christmas Eve

and everything,

I have a little surprise

for you.

You have?

You've been writing tunes

for me for about a year.

Mm-hmm.

If it weren't for my lyrics

and my name on them,

they probably would have

never gotten to frst base.

But you've been loyal,

very, very loyal.

I haven't told a soul.

Um, yes, um--

I don't want you to think

I don't appreciate it.

Therefore, Mr. Starbuck and I

have decided to

offer you a contract.

Contract?

Mm-hmm. Fifty dollars a week

for three years, no options.

All you have to do is continue

to keep your mouth shut.

And write good tunes.

[ Chuckles ]

Naturally.

Come on, lazybones.

Come on over here.

Sign right here

on the nervous line.

Thanks.

I'm gonna keep my mouth shut

because that's part of my job.

But I don't want any contract.

[ Together]

You don't want any contract?

No.

Why not?

In the frst place,

I don't like music.

You don't like music?

I like it when you're

feeling like singing.

But I wouldn't want

to make it my life's work.

The poor man's parasite.

What's the matter, haven't

you got any ambition?

Not much.

Good.

Wait, Starbuck.

Surely there must be

something you want?

Yeah, now that you

mention it, there is.

What is it?

A catboat.

A catboat.

Yeah. My uncle runs

this place in Tarrytown.

Yes, yes, yes.

But if you sign this

contract right away,

you can have a catboat now

on the installment plan.

Then you can sail around

and make up songs.

That's very nice.

But I'd rather not be

tied down to anything

unless it's a catboat.

I fgured if I could save

a little dough, I could go

to this place my uncle runs.

If you mention that uncle again,

I'll fre you!

My uncle's

a very nice man.

Here's your fountain pen.

So long.

Say, is that a hep catboat

you want or just a catboat?

Just a plain, ordinary

old catboat.

Don't go too far.

That's why we got you

that cell downstairs.

I did want to visit my uncle--

No. There's a lot of work

in this new show...

and we want you around.

Mr. Courtney likes you

so much he can't do

a thing without you.

He can't, huh?

Well, I'll see you later.

Wait a minute.

What?

What kind of a place is

this your uncle runs?

A nudist farm?

Oh, no, no,

nothing like that.

Just a little hideaway

on the river.

It's called Nobody's Inn.

Feather beds.

Hot and cold folding doors.

Have a card.

Built-in tea wagon.

Take some up to the union

next time you go there.

Ah, Nobody's Inn.

''Peace...It's wonderful.''

Why does he call it

Nobody's Inn?

He's a funny fellow,

my unk.

He won't let anybody in

unless he likes their face.

But you can come up.

I might be able

to do somethin' for you.

And a Merry Christmas

to you too... Scrooge!

Merry Christmas, Bates.

Thank you.

Wait a minute, Bates,

what have you got there?

Telegram for Mr. Courtney,

sir.

Here, I'll take it.

You stay right here.

[ Whistles ]

Bates, are you

a registered nurse?

Why, no, sir.

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