Rhythm on the River Page #2

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You better become one.

Got any smelling salts?

I think so.

Don't think, make sure and

have a bucket and sponge.

And, Bates, lock all the

windows and hide his razor.

Thank you so much.

Oh, Oliver--

Give me a glass of

champagne, will you?

I say, everything's fne.

I'm still in the groove.

You better dig yourself

a nice deep one.

Why, what's wrong?

Your lyric writer

Just fell dead.

Oh.

Bates!

Croon. Spoon.

Tune. Soon.

Agh! june.

How about loon

or goon?

It's no use, Billy.

I haven't been able to write

a good song of my own since

''Good-bye To Love.''

Oh! And a good song

must come from the heart.

Not with your ears.

My heart just stopped

singing when she died.

She didn't die.

She got fat.

What?

Why try that sentimental

drool on me?

You know she married

a guy in Naples who ran

a one-arm spaghetti joint.

I prefer to think

of her as dead.

There will never

be another like her.

There's one born every minute!

You're like a swan, only able

to produce a good tune...

when you're getting it

in the neck.

I'm looking for that

Christmas card that girl sent.

What girl?

The one who keeps sending you

her poems, Cherry Lane.

Maybe you could

use her.

Here it is.

Read it to me.

''A Happy New Year to you

is my sincerest wish.

If music be the food of love,

you are my favorite dish.''

[ Chuckling ]

You are my

favorite dish.

I wonder

if she's pretty.

What does that matter?

I thought you were looking

for a lyric writer.

Starbuck, send for her.

I'll see her tomorrow.

I'll have her here

by carrier pigeon.

Pardon me.

Does Mr. Oliver Courtney

live here?

Yes, miss.

Take the elevator to

the 1 5th floor and then

change for the penthouse.

Thank you.

Good morning,

Wilkes.

Good morning, sir.

Little place of my uncle's.

Give it a rumble, will ya?

d d [ Humming ]

d d [ Whistling ]

Oh, pardon me.

Certainly.

d d [ Whistling ]

d d [ Humming ]

Floor please.

[ Together]

Fifteen.

d d [ Whistling ]

That's a pretty

little number.

Yes, isn't she?

Who?

What are you

talking about?

I'm talking about that tune

you were whistling!

- Was I whistling a tune?

- Don't tell me you've

already forgotten it.

d d [ Whistling ]

d d [ Whistling Continues ]

Give me that again,

will ya?

d d [ Whistling ]

Rimsky-Korsakov, 1 888.

You're very clever, my friend,

but on you it's repulsive.

Are you the young lady

that wrote these verses?

Mm-hmm.

Miss Lane,

do you like music?

I adore it.

I can't play well,

but a good tune always

makes me think of lyrics.

They just seem

to pop into my head.

I had that once.

Oh, but I think

your melodies lately have

been perfectly wonderful.

Oh, do you?

Of course...

nothing will ever come up

to ''Good-bye To Love. '?

Ah, I wrote that myself!.

I mean, um--

That really came

from my heart.

Um, Miss Lane,

how would you like

to write my lyrics?

I beg your pardon?

How would you like

to write my lyrics?

I couldn't write your lyrics.

I could write my own lyrics,

but I couldn't write--

Do you mean--

Mm-hmm.

Oh, Mr. Courtney, I couldn't

do that... or could I?

It would give you

an opportunity and an income.

And it will give me something

that I very badly need:

some new lyrics.

Oh, Mr. Courtney,

to be able to write with you,

it's unbelievable!

I must think of a new rhyme

for heaven right away!

Will you?

Of course I will.

Just wait till the girls

in Tulsa see my name

on one of your songs.

They'll simply

curl up and die!

Miss Lane, I don't want

you to labor under

a misapprehension.

Your name won't appear on

the song. My name will be

on it as usual.

But you'll have all the

satisfaction of knowing

that you did write it and...

you'll be able to dine on

something more substantial

than the food of love.

But, Mr. Courtney,

that is misrepresentation.

They'll throw me in jail!

Oh, no.

It's done all the time.

A man reaches a position

where he's paid a big sum

for a song or a story.

He has only two hands

and one brain. What's

the sensible thing to do?

Obviously hire someone else.

It's called ghostwriting,

Miss Lane.

It's a very proftable

business.

For the ghost?

For the writer.

I'll pay you $50 a week

to start with.

Well, what's

the answer?

Well...

the answer's yes.

Remember you're not to tell

anyone you're working

for me, or the deal's off.

It's a matter of honor.

When do we start?

How 'bout dining

with me tonight?

Where?

Here.

I've got to get started.

I've a show in preparation.

Well, Mr. Courtney,

I admit it all sounds tempting,

and I'd be delighted to dine

with you on one condition.

What's that?

Well... that you remember

I'm only a ghost.

[ Whistles ]

How's he doing?

He's got an idea.

That's all I want.

Give it to me.

Can she hear us?

No, no, no.

She's in the other room.

d d [ Whistling ]

[ Stomping Feet ]

d d [ Whistling ]

d d [ Whistling ]

[ Stomping Feet ]

d d [ Whistling ]

What's the rest of it?

That's all he's got,

the front strain.

Stick with him

until he's got the rest.

[ Stomping Feet ]

Don't let that arthritis

throw you.

Go on.

d d [ Whistling ]

[ Stomping Feet,

Whistling ]

That's

a B-flat chord.

Right.

What? No prize?

Aw, stop practicing.

Who's practicing? I'm

trying to get this on paper.

It took Mozart three hours

to compose a whole overture.

Was it any good?

Oh, yeah.

They don't play it anymore.

That's the tip-off on Mozart.

d d [ Piano ]

I just had an idea.

A thought just came to me.

Uh...

a little melody.

See what this does to you.

I thought of it today.

There are no lyrics yet,

but that's where

you come in.

d d [ Piano ]

Why'd you stop?

Uh, that's all

I've got.

I mean, uh, it's all

that's come to me so far.

Well, couldn't you

Just fake it?

No, no.

I'd sooner wait

until it comes to me.

And it will, yes, it will.

There you are, vassal.

Fly to your master

in the tower.

Give him my compliments

and you may keep the change.

Sometimes I wonder

why I put up with you.

That's a cinch.

You put up with me

because he puts up with me.

He puts up with me because

he's out of the groove.

Very sound, very sound.

Why I put up with either

of you, I haven't been able

to fgure out yet.

Perhaps this check

will explain.

Hmm, nice explaining.

And I want to thank you

for a very tedious afternoon.

Not at all.

Come on,

let's try again.

d d [ Humming ]

Sorry to interrupt.

What do you want?

I had a feeling you may have

been forgetting something.

I haven't.

What are you doing here?

Remember that tune

you were working on?

I've been playing it.

I had a feeling you may have

forgotten it as usual,

so I wrote it down.

You wrote it down?

Oh, you mean the, uh--

Oh, the middle!

How perfectly wonderful.

Mr. Starbuck, Miss Lane.

Miss Lane,

Mr. Starbuck.

How do you do?

Mr. Starbuck does

all my thinking for me.

It's only

a part-time job.

He's such a genius that his

own music goes in one ear

and stays there.

He's like all the great

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