Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip Page #7

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and walk eight feet away from it.

Two days later. Jack.

I would smoke. I'd go...

One time. It looked like I had

an appendage on my hand.

It was the pipe.

'Cause this pipe used to tell me

when to go to bed.

The pipe would say,

"Time to get up.

Time for some smoke. Rich.

We're not doing anything today.

F*** all your appointments.

Me and you are just gonna hang out

in this room together."

I'd get mad and frustrated.

People didn't understand me.

The pipe'd say. "Come in the room

with me. I got you covered.

I know how you feel. Rich.

Light me up. Hold me tor a couple

of days. And we'll talk it over."

I'm talking about a year later, jack.

I'm talking about...

I'm drawn up. f***ed up

and out of my mind...

but I'm not hooked.

People are trying to help me.

I say...

"You're just meddling

in my motherfucking business!

You just think

because I'm having a good...

Leave me the f*** alone!"

And I'm smokin' my sh*t...

'cause my pipe would say,

"I understand. They don't know.

It's your life. They don't have

a right to f*** with you.

Where were they when you needed them?

Come in here with me. 'cause I love ya."

And then the pipe

starts saying sh*t like...

"You let me get

a little low yesterday.

I don't like that.

Don't let me get low again.

Or I'm gonna hurt ya.

You promise,

keep me full at all times. Okay?

Come on, Rich. You can do it.

'Cause I understand."

And finally. Dope dealers...

I did it so bad, dope dealers

tried not to sell me none.

That's doing it,

for a dope dealer to say...

"I ain't gonna give you no more.

I can't see you do it to yourself."

Dope dealers don't give a f***

about nothing usually.

These motherfuckers refused

to sell me cocaine.

Said. "No. Motherf***er!

You're killing yourself!"

What?

"I don't want to see you

f*** yourself up."

I ain't never heard

of dope dealers doin' that.

I mean. You could sooner get

free food in a Chinese restaurant.

But these motherfuckers

love me. Man.

They say. "No, man.

Can't you just snort again?"

And I'd lie and say,

"Okay. I'm gonna snort.

Just give me enough tor the weekend.

I'm gonna snort it."

"How much you want?"

"A kilo."

I don't know I'm a junkie.

I weigh about 103.

I looked like...

Ain't been out of my room

in eight weeks.

Funk is my shadow.

Funk be just hanging

all over me, talkin' about...

"Hey. Don't wash."

Then finally. My old lady

called Jim Brown up.

- She said. "Jim gonna come over."

- "F*** Jim Brown!

I'll show Jim Brown.

I don't give a f***.

Nobody afraid of Jim Brown here."

Jim was coming in the driveway.

I got all nervous.

"Who is it?"

"Jim Brown."

"Oh. Sh*t! This motherf***er ain't

gonna scare me. Let me get my pipe."

Pipe said. "Come on.

Me and you will show Jim. Don't worry.

Sh*t, Jim don't scare nobody."

Jim come in the room.

I started smokin'.

"How're you doin'. Bro?"

Jim had psychology.

Jim'd go...

"You wanna go roller-skatin'?"

"Pipe."

"Maybe you wanna go tor a ride."

Jim say. "What you gonna do?"

"What do you mean?"

"What you gonna do

about that sh*t?"

"What?

I'm doin' what I wanna do."

"I ain't afraid of you, you know.

You ain't no movie star to me.

I ain't scared of you. Motherf***er.

I'm your friend.

What you gonna do?

You gonna get well,

or you gonna end our friendship?

What you gonna do?"

The pipe said. "Don't listen.

He tryin' to f*** with you, Rich."

"Jim, I am a man."

"There ain't no doubt about that...

but what you gonna do?"

And Jim kept saying that

all through the hall.

"What you gonna do?"

"Leave me the f*** alone!

That's what I'm going to do...

I'm getting the f*** away from you...

so I don't have to hear

'What you gonna do? '

'Cause I don't know

what the f*** I'm gonna do.

Leave me the f*** alone!"

So Jim almost got me

to the hospital...

but he had to go somewhere.

Like to home to eat.

And I was in the room with the pipe.

And the pipe said...

"Hey. Rich...

Jim's gone."

And it don't matter how many times

you break them motherfuckers...

you go out and buy a new one.

This is an addiction.

It's a monster.

It's pitiful. 'cause I ended up

on the floor looking for sh*t.

"Well, let me smoke this."

It'd be a piece of log. Anything.

I'd say, "I wonder

how my sleeve would taste."

I'll tell you one thing. Man.

When that tire hits your ass...

that will sober your ass up quick.

I mean. I was standing there on fire.

And something said...

"Why. That's a pretty blue.

You know what?

That looks like fire!"

I'm talking about,

tire is inspirational.

They should use it

in the Olympics...

'cause I did

the 100-yard dash in 4.3.

You know something I found out?

When you're on fire

and running down the street...

people will get out of your way.

Except tor one old drunk.

He's going. "Can I get a light?

How about it? Just a little

oft the sleeve. Okay?"

You can tell you f***ed up when you

get to the hospital and the doctor go...

"Holy sh*t!

Why don't we get some cole slaw

and serve this up?"

I was laying in the hospital

with tubes and sh*t up my nose...

an I.V. In my arm...

and a brother come in

wanting an autograph.

I mean. Steam and sh*t

was still comin' off me.

Brother come in.

"Hey, Rich.

Hey. Hom.

Can I get this autograph?

Come on. Let me have

this last autograph."

And Jim was in the hospital

every day when I was getting well.

He'd be there every day.

Fire don't mean sh*t to Jim.

Fire jumped on Jim once.

He said, "Hey!"

Jim would be there

giving me strength.

I say. "Jim ain't never been hurt.

So I can't show no pain.

I gotta show my strength.

Try to get well."

I was doing real well.

'Cause nature is wonderful.

When you burn up.

Your skin goes to sleep...

'cause nature says,

"I can't deal with it"...

and just goes to sleep.

You don't feel sh*t for about

three days, till your nerves wake up.

I didn't know that.

I figured. "I ain't feelin' nothin'.

Everything's fine."

And at the hospital, doctors and sh*t,

they're really great.

But there was a brother

who worked as a nurse...

They're unique people

work with burnt people...

'cause I don't know it I could work

with no motherf***er burnt up.

You know what I mean? Put some butter

on him and say. "That's it."

Go for what you know. Homes.

But these motherfuckers...

This Larry Murphy used to come in.

"We're gonna wash you down.

And you're gonna feel great.

We're gonna wash ya."

He kept saying it.

"We're gonna put you in the tub

and wash you."

"You're gonna wash me.

When are you gonna wash me?"

"We're gonna wash you in a couple

of days. We're gonna get you better."

"Yeah, motherf***er.

Yeah. Wash me, will you please?"

I should've known

something was wrong...

'cause this motherf***er

come every day with this.

"Don't worry.

We're gonna put you in the tub...

and it's gonna be all right."

I said, "I'm not worried. Motherf***er.

Put my ass in the tub.

You know. Wash me. Sh*t."

"Come on. Don't worry."

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