Ricky Gervais: Out of England - The Stand-Up Special

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And now, the main event of the evening.

He is co-author of the most successful British comedy of all time,

broadcast in more than 100 countries,

Holds the world record of Internet sales,

and has sold over 7 million DVDs.

He won two Emmys, three Golden Globes and BAFTAs 8.

And now, is the fastest-selling live tour in British history.

So, please, let's welcome on stage

came from London, father of podcast programs,

Rege Engleze fenomenalul the comedy,

Ricky Gervais!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Not too exaggerated, right?

I spent entire budget it.

It's just me and the microphone now.

Not even makeup are not. Incredible.

It is fantastic to be here, at mre city in the world.

Thank you very much.

This is my second night here in New York. I had a few small shows in Los Angeles, but ...

most earnings there I gave the American Cancer Society.

This is better, because you keep all ... money.

We managed to raise thousands of dollars or one hundred pounds, as you prefer.

As to trii in a third world country?

I know what you're thinking. Ricky Gervais Still busy with charity? May tcei!

No more ...

"Fac prea mult". Ba nu, deloc.

"As we gathered last year, only for cancer?"

It does not matter. For what?

"Dan-ne estimate the sum."

Millions ...

Millions ...

And I hope to be welcomed.

Give v spun pole,

If I ever make cancer, I will go into the nearest hospital and have to say,

"Well, I paid for that equipment,

dai chelul wing mic or part of the de-acolo. "

Speaking about small keys nenorocii,

Last year I thin a show for teenagers with cancer.

This?

At the Royal Albert Hall. I thin and earlier, in 2006.

But they called me again last year.

"Inca Suntem bolnavi!"

Athi rezistat ...

There is a nice show.

Adolescents with cancer have free entry.

A a eu sunt.

It brings up to the forefront, lucky them ...

And I can come backstage after the show to meet me.

How great it can be for them.

Much better than to go to Disneyworld, where they can be bad, given their state.

While, you know me ... Maximum.

So thin now show the second time,

I look and I recognize one of them. It was two years ago backstage.

He told me about his illness, and I've signed some autographs you,

And he told me how that turned 18 and how hard it was ...

And I said, that was 2 years ago.

Means that now has 20.

The khan of the of ce naiba adolescent and Inca?

Lying bastard ...

Not lie in respects of cancer, and it hurt when he laughed, but it would be ...

the decision and the IMI continuam spectacolul rdea the rdea, "Da, Razi you ..."

I seethed with anger.

And when I'm tired, I said "Dude, you recognize."

"Ai culise needle comes in 2 of the anus."

"Ziceai c to 18 ani atunci, decision acum to 20."

"Ie, first the Afara!"

i am Chemat Paz ...

Opun ncerca the SA, was slbit give ...

They served, see.

Although they got a little hard at first,

then caught and they ...

Scotei it out! And to room started to boo.

I-am zis, "the Auzi you? Nu vor s-Auda eg nimeni c if SUPARA pe mine."

"Face-te!"

Health all!

It's a big box, right?

Nu M two mare.

But we want to know that is large box, not that I am a dwarf.

I thin a show charity last year for autism.

And like most, my only experience related to autism, until recently,

he was Dustin Hoffman i know prestaia extraordinar din "Rainman".

I recently purchased a new home in London

and neighbors are all walking around there ...

"Salut ..." Bgau i i i nasul, practic.

But I thought, "to be nice to them, for now."

"When I raise my high fence, you can go to hell."

And a couple had a son with autism.

And his mother was talking to me, "Hey, this is Douglas is 17."

"It never comes-out because he has no friends."

So I thought, "This is a good opportunity to show that I'm not just rich that guy on TV

ci khan i am from the Inim aur ".

i am i-spus "IE scale with el."

"-Serious?" "-Da."

So get back on a Saturday and I. ..

She tells me that he likes the zoo.

Which is only one kilometer away from my new house.

The so so ... walking down the street ... by Douglas ...

And he did not take his eyes and his mother all the way, as I was walking down the street.

And his mother to stand on the threshold of the door, making them by hand, crying ...

Finally close the door and go inside.

Eu opresc a taxi, "the cazinou Ducei-tion."

Should you choose and you with something, right? So ...

I entered, he wore a suit and everything perfect, excellent what else ...

Jump to Black Jack table. It is their strong point, do not know why ...

Are brilliant at this game!

I-am zis, "Bine, Doug, St tii cum treaba ..."

"Paiezi two for good and one for evil, understand?"

The zice, "Da."

So I bet ... in a half an hour already lost 1,000 pounds.

i i-am zis, "Douglas, f chestia Hague, Numara crile."

"Tell me when it comes to a good book, two for good ..."

nelegi? i the "Da".

Inca 1,000 lire!

M gndeam, "Ce fel of autist ...?"

Eram derutat.

Am Josh o i l-pe aruncat cteva scobitori am ntrebat "Cates are?" "Nu tiu o."

"Sunt fit! Pot s VAD i had c sunt fit, de-AICI"

Why I stuck with this?

So I went back home and I told her and her mother, "It was a mistake."

"It works like Rainman, but it has nothing to isteime sh*t."

I know it's wrong ...

I do not like to talk about it, but do a lot of charity shows.

But I mentioned some causes worth more than others.

Leaving the joke aside, obviously deserves attention cancer, autism also

but recently I was asked to give a show of charity for those suffering from obesity.

"Ce?"

She answers me, "For those who suffer from obesity."

Eu...

"I referi the oamenii gra i?"

She answers me, "No, because obesity ..."

Well, actually said ... Because eating.

Tithi, Intre gustri.

IMI zice, "Boal Obezitatea this o."

No it's not, really?

Thiele just you like to eat, is not it?

No it's not, really?

How is that a disease?

Oh, if bolnav sunt ...

The ntreb "that Boal Care?"

i ea-my zice, "and a to totul of taste ..."

"-Totul?" "-Da."

"Nu salt them."

It is not a disease, is not it?

Leprosy this Boal.

May I imagini Jesus in the temple, with all patients in bandages, "Jesus, I fail face!"

"Nu pot m OprI ytd, and grsan her Treia plcint."

Grace and i always look for all kinds of excuses, right?

Spun, "Glanda East." Glanda Nu eastern, eastern lcomie, da?!

"Mari oase East."

Yes, big bones filled with meat and spices.

Complain ... Is their own guilt.

"Oh nu, m Ingra No ... uite, m Ingra No ..."

"Scaunele din avion."

"I'm not big enough for someone like me."

No, they are not.

Because if it is, I climb nenorocii only 12 people on the plane.

"Nu-i just." Ba this!

Aichi behave!

And if we're talking about is just the ticket ...

of the maximum weight of my luggage must be the same as a standard 200 kg?

Both we must toffee up to 32 kg in flight.

No, no, and he has already used 32 kg in Thathi!

Nu this Boal.

I saw a documentary when I was in England, a woman weighing 160 kg.

Because I eat 10 hamburgers a day.

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