Rivales Page #3

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I thought we were dead ducks.

- We always played defensively.

- We're conservative.

Yes. I think Pepe uses

an ambiguous strategy,

and not because he's a fairy.

Hey, listen,

I've got nothing against fairies.

Hold on, I don't get it.

- Who are we talking about?

- The coach.

- The coach is?

- As if it didn't show.

But he's married.

What's that got to do with it?

Didn't you see that cowboy movie,

Brokeback Mountain?

How can they let him into the club?

What's that got to do with it?

He's a great person.

But he shares things

with the kids,

the dressing rooms,

the trips, the showers...

Don't worry,

they say he likes "bears"

Oh... with animals?

In gay slang,

"bears" are big, hairy guys.

The Jack Black type.

Guys with beards, rugged,

like your husband.

In theory we're all

open and progressive,

but you wouldn't want

your son to be a homosexual.

As long as Elton was happy...

He's got a touch of it, look.

That cyclist was lucky.

We all have our quirks, eh, Mara?

Be quiet now,

you're going to savour

the exquisite delicacy

I'm going to put in your mouth.

I know you'll give me pleasure,

you'll do it real good,

you always do it so good.

You're doing it so good, so good.

You're doing it so good, so good.

You're doing it so good, so good.

You're doing it so good, so good.

But, honey, don't stop,

keep going, don't stop.

You'll get your reward,

you do it so good.

And while I concentrate,

suck it deep down,

that time has come

and you did it real good.

You're doing it so good...

- We always stop here, right hon?

- Really?

Well, here we are.

- Elton!

- Mum, I'm dying for a piss!

It's great, man!

It's not the car for us.

No, it's for someone divorced

or single.

Or a married guy

who wants to party, eh?

- I'm not a party guy.

- You?

- You dog you!

- Wasn't I a bear?

You like that, eh?

Great. Fancy a beer?

- We should go in.

- Whatever you say.

Tonight let's park the kids

and go out partying, yeah?

- My back's a mess.

- Your neck?

- Yes.

- Jorge's massages are to die for.

Jorge! When we get to the hotel

you're giving Mara a massage!

I'm starving.

A positive attitude isn't that hard.

You have to trust,

not that you don't now,

but you have to have

more trust your in your left foot.

Last time, we were here

with Juan Garicomano, remember?

Yes. We got drunk.

There was only one room.

- The four of us bunked up.

- Mum, can I go out and play?

- Play what?

- Cars.

- What's that?

- I say, for example,

the first car to go past will be

an Audi, and if it does, I win.

The first to lose three times

pays a forfeit.

What kind of forfeit?

You be careful!

- Let's celebrate!

- No, I don't...

Come on! A toast to tonight!

- Sorry?

- To Madrid versus Bara!

Football gets my blood going.

And with a good game...

I get a boner, man. Don't you?

- Don't I, honey?

- Yes.

No, go ahead.

I'll use this one.

F***!

Forgive me for asking.

You don't have to answer.

Where'd you get your operation?

Operation?

Your tits, Mara!

- They're the ones I want.

- No, thanks, I...

Your man must be happy.

Jorge would go nuts.

I've hardly got any.

Look what I'm reduced to.

I'd love to, but I'm scared.

At my last blood test

I broke three syringes.

No, they're mine.

I sleep with a bra.

At age 13 they were even bigger.

It was awful.

My grandma told me,

"Sleep with a bra

or those will keep growing",

and that's that.

- Can I?

- Can you what?

- She touched my thingies.

- Maribel?

She beat around the bush,

but in the end she touched them.

Well, he...

- He didn't touch you?

- No, he touched his...

- In front of you?

- No. But I heard him.

You can hear that?

I'm a man. I know.

- They're sexually harassing us.

- Don't exaggerate.

Oh, I'm making it up?

They're fishing around,

- but they won't catch us.

- I wanted to take the bus.

It's okay.

You always get what you want.

What?

It wouldn't surprise me

if you were enjoying this.

Rodrigo!

Mum, I'm paying a forfeit!

Well I never...

I love this padded ergonomic seat.

It's so nice,

even on back roads.

It's the 4 Motion traction,

the individual wheel rotation.

And the Haltex clutch.

If I snore, poke me.

What's this nutcase doing?

- The show-off!

- Look at him go!

That's a dip sign!

- Maribel, put it in second!

- He's going to hit that truck!

Maribel! The brake!

Did I wake you?

Long naps give me a headache.

Do you mind?

No, no. Not at all.

- What are you two laughing at?

- Nothing.

Carlos, what's this button for?

It's the cruise control.

You press it like this.

See? It sets a limit.

Look. See?

Step on it now. See?

Oh, it's true!

These new machines have some tricks...

- You'll have to show me all of them.

- Whenever you like.

- What is it?

- A bee.

It's gone.

- The bathroom?

- In there.

Yes?

What?

What?

Hi, Dad.

Be more convincing. Ask me:

"How are things?

Is something wrong?" Say it.

How are things? Is something wrong?

Carlos, your mother's very ill,

she's in hospital.

In hospital? Really?

No! You have to pretend

that you believe it!

Yeah, yeah...

Is it serious? How serious?

I'm shaking.

You can't see me, but I am.

I can't take this pressure.

So, your mother's dying

and we're very sorry,

- but we have to go to her.

- And the match?

Don't worry, we'll get a taxi.

- That'll cost a fortune.

- It's his mother.

But Mara, really, we don't mind.

Relax, you go ahead.

- But we'll take the boy, right?

- No!

He has to play the last game.

A grandmother is more important

than a game.

- But Mum, I want to play!

- He can stay with Elton.

It's only one day. Please!

- Go on.

- Sure.

Imagine if the Catalonians won

and it was my fault.

Rodrigo, she's your dad's mother.

I hope to God it's not,

but it might be her last game.

But Mum, I want to play!

No, no...

It doesn't disgust you, does it?

What do you mean?

I imagine the four of us

in bed and...

- And?

- No way.

They're coming back!

Maribel and I were talking

and we can't leave you here.

- We'll take you to Madrid.

- But...

No buts about it.

No, we had a terrible time

last year with my mother,

and we know what good friends mean.

Come on, get in.

We'll leave the boys with my sister

and take you to the hospital.

Because of her mother

we made great friends

with the cardiology team.

We know the ropes there,

so don't worry.

Thanks a lot, guys, but...

No, we'll stay with you

the whole night.

Mela, I'm leaving my best friend's son

and Elton with you. Call me. Love you.

Jorge, take the turn for Seville.

What?

Carlos, this is one of

your mother's little scenes,

I can see it now.

And the poor kids

won't make their game. No, no.

I don't know...

You're sticking up for her,

she's your mother after all,

but we know she's after attention.

His brother and sister-in-law

are smarter. They ignore her.

We always do the dirty work.

- Mara...

- No.

Maybe if she was grateful, but no.

- Never a gift, even for her grandson.

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