Road to Morocco

''Flash! The freighter,

Star of Capetown,

''was sunk today off

the north coast of Africa...

''by a mysterious explosion.

''All hands accounted for

with the exception of...

two unidentified

stowaways.''

Look at us.

Two on a raft,

sunny side up.

''I'll tell you how to get home.

We'll stow away,'' you said.

''No, sir,'' I said.

''Don't be a sap,'' you said.

''We're stowing away,

and that's that,'' you said.

''No, sir.''

Yak-yak-yak.

What a brilliant

conversationalist you are!

I took one look at that

crate and knew it would

blow up in our faces.

Wait till they find out who

was smokin' in the powder room.

Never mind that.

Look at us--

Food gone,

water gone.

What's that bulge

in your pocket?

Oh, that's--

Yeah, that.

That's an old

tobacco pouch.

When did you

start smokin' a pipe?

Ever since this morning,

cigarettes make me nervous.

You went to the store

and got tobacco?

You notice--

That's clever.

Come on, dig.

Hand it over here.

Let's see, reach.

Ohhh!

I forgot.

Surprised?

I figure two of'em for

one of us is better...

than one of'em

for two of us.

You can spit

your teeth in there.

Just dunk it lightly.

Well,Junior,

we gotta face it.

We may be days and days

without seeing a ship or land.

We're gonna get

mighty hungry.

- What do you mean, get hungry?

- We'll toss a coin.

What's the date?

Hea--

1910!

Pretty close...

1911 .

That's the way it goes--

somebody loses, somebody wins.

So you win the nickel!

See if you can find any

white meat on that buffalo.

I got a T.L. for you.

We tossed for something

much deeper than that.

I remember a story

about two fellows like us,

castaways.

They tossed a coin, too.

Uh-huh.

They figured there's no use

both of them starving.

Naturally.

The fellow who survived used

to tell his grandchildren

about his pal's sacrifice.

That's very--

Wait a minute.

What pal's sacrifice?

I don't know, though.

You should've

eaten more oatmeal.

You're kind of scrawny.

I don't think you'd

do me more than a week,

and there's no icebox aboard.

Jeff, you're losing

your buttons.

You mean, you'd eat me,

without vegetables?

Calm down,Junior.

I'm not gonna do

anything right away.

I might not do

anything for a week.

Not until I get desperate.

You wouldn't like me.

Once I bit my tongue

and I tasted awful.

Help!

Jeff, don't--

Turkey, look!

Am I seeing things?

What?

What is that

over there?

Land! Land!

We're saved!

We're saved!

Yo-ho!

Yo-ho!

Hey! Hey!

A submarine!

Man the pumps!

Man the pumps!

Last stop!

Got a stone

in my shoe.

Wait a minute!

I hope Aunt Lucy's

lookin' down...

and seein' the way

you're treating me.

You gonna stuff

Aunt Lucy down

my throat again?

Never mind. She saw you tossin'

the coin and lickin' your chops.

You're certainly sloughing off

your promise to her.

Aunt Lucy... I can see her now

lying on her dying bed...

lookin' at you with those

big, trusting eyes.

''Before I go,Jeff, promise me

one thing,'' she said.

''Promise me you'll always be

a friend to little Orville.

''No matter what happens, you'll

never leave the little jerk.

Promise me,Jeff.

Promise me,'' she said.

Then she up and died before

I had a chance to say no.

Shh!

Who you shushing?

What's the matter?

I hope she didn't hear.

The dead have a way

of comin' back.

When they're dead,

they're dead.

Not Aunt Lucy.

She was a Republican.

Okay,Junior,

I'm sorry.

I guess I shouldn't

have said that.

You know how

I feel about ya.

I guess in my own way

I sorta love you.

All right, but you don't

have to slobber all over me.

I guess I kinda

love you, too.

Now wait a minute.

Stop kissing me.

What are you talkin' about?

I didn't--

You did too!

Are you crazy?

I don't mind being kissed...

but this

is ridiculous.

You did it again.

I did not.

You didn't?

No.

I felt something...

like a wet paint brush.

You did? I did too.

I thought it was you.

And I thought

it was you.

You see!

Aunt Lucy's come back.

You did it with all that

disrespectful talk. Aunt Lucy!

What's that?

What's the matter?

You yellow?

It's only a kangaroo.

What're you gettin' scared for?

Yeah.

Let's take a ride.

This is probably--

Good girl.

Good girl.

We got enough gas?

I got her carburetor

cut down to nothin'.

Where do you

suppose we are?

This must be the place

where they empty all

the old hourglasses.

I think this is what's left

after I clean my spinach.

Hey, look!

They could've thought

of another way to get us here.

Here we go again.

Beats the bus, huh?

Beats me.

# How can we be sure #

# I'll lay you 8 to 5

that we meet Dorothy Lamour #

# Off on the road

to Morocco #

# Hang on till

the end of the line #

# I hear this country's

where they do #

#The dance

of the seven veils #

#We'd tell you more

but we would have #

#The censor

on our tails #

#We certainly do

get around-ound-ound #

# Like Webster's dictionary #

#We're Morocco bound #

#We're off on the road

to Morocco #

Look out!

Clear the way!

'Cause here we come.

#The men eat fire

sleep on nails #

#And saw their wives

in half #

# It seems to me there should be

easier ways to get a laugh #

#We're off on the road

to Morocco #

#And somewhere

I feel kind of numb #

# For any villains we may meet

we haven't any fear #

# Paramount will protect us

'cause we're signed for

five more years #

#We certainly do get around #

Like a set of Shakespeare

you buy in the drugstore

for $1 .98.

#We're Morocco bound #

Or like a volume of

Omar Khayyam that you

buy at Christmastime...

for your cousin Julia.

#We're Morocco bound ##

##

Wonder if you can get a handout

in this burg? I'm starved.

If that guy wasn't lookin',

I'd eat a rug.

Plain?

Orville,

where are you?

Over here behind

these goose pimples.

Reckon there's been some

sort of shootin' ruckus

at the Buckeye Saloon.

I ain't a-lookin' for trouble,

partner, but if trouble...

comes a-lookin' for me, I'm

gonna be mighty hard to find.

Say, fuzzy, who is that

headstrong, impetuous boy?

He is Mullay Kassim,

the desert sheik.

What'd he come to town for?

A manicure?

He loves the Princess Shalmar

of Karameesh.

He has come to ask her

to marry him.

I'd hate to be around when

he comes for a divorce!

You short of blades?

It's a strange country,

Buster.

Yeah.

Well, not too strange.

It's food

we're after.

That's what I say...

food. Yes.

Remember?

Food.

No thanks,

we ate four days ago.

I wish I had

my drool cup with me.

Oooh!

Ahhh!

Allah be praised.

Allah be praised.

Ohhh! Ahhh!

Oooh! Ahhh!

Allah be praised.

What is this?

Free cold cuts!

What are we waiting for?

Shangri-La.

Allah be praised, brother.

We'll get loaded.

This is living!

The other fellow did it.

Why can't he?

Allah has seen fit

to dim the light of his wisdom.

To us, such unfortunate ones

are sacred.

Oh.

I don't

think that's--

Shh!

What are you lookin'

at me like that for?

From now on,

you're sacred.

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