Road to Morocco Page #2

What do you mean?

You just became

a full-blooded American idiot.

You do it. Who's gonna

believe I'm an idiot?

Look at the

head start you got!

Go into a shop,

put on that look,

and talk like this.

I'll take some of those,

some of these and some of those.

Let me have

that slow.

I'll take some of these...

and give me a few-ew

of them there--

You feel all right,

Daddy?

Let me hear you do it.

I'll take some of those

and some of those--

The first shop

we go into...

the guy'll load us up

and throw in his daughter.

His daughter?

I'll take some of--

I'll take

some of those.

Don't over-train.

What can I do for you,

gentlemen?

Tell him,

Junior.

I want some of those

and some of those--

You making fun of me?

No, I always

talk like this.

You do, huh?

Why do you?

I'm an idiot.

I'm sacred.

You're saying

I'm an idiot?

If you think you're an idiot

I'm not gonna argue--

What's that?

Okay, I'll take

some of those...

and some of those,

and those--

[ Lisping ]

Well, what do ya

think of that?

[ Lisp Gone ]

How do you like that?

Jeff,Jeff.

Mother told me there'd be

moments like this.

I wonder how she knew?

[Jeff]

Where've you been?

I've been lookin'

everywhere for you.

Do it some more.

What's the matter

with you?

Kiss it again.

What'd the guy hit you with?

A piano?

Come on.

Snap out of it.

It's a strange country.

A minute ago she

came along in a gold box,

fellows carrying it with sticks.

She took my hand,

kissed my fingertips,

my knuckles, my wrist.

My toes are still braided.

It was wonderful.

Do it some more.

Come on, now.

You're delirious.

You need something in your

stomach. You'll be all right.

Come on.

Here we go.

[ Yelling In Arabic ]

How do you figure on

paying for all this?

Scared? You got

red blood, ain't ya?

But I don't wanna get it

all over strangers.

Eat up. Eat up.

I'll think of something.

They got knives.

They'll try to get the

food back the hard way.

You have already eaten

to the amount of 230 kolacs.

You have money

to pay, yes?

We'll pay...

when we're through eatin'.

Put it on separate checks.

Bring us a couple more

portions of jellied turtle eggs.

And the turtle

that laid them.

Bring her in.

And spread a lot of pixie dust,

double layer.

You have already eaten

six portions.

Can we help it if

we're turtle-egg fiends?

First chance we get we better

dash for the nearest exit.

How about that guy's knife?

We're gonna look silly...

stumbling out of here

on a set of stumps.

Have a nutburger

and forget about it.

I can

hardly wait for dessert.

What are we having?

What do you usually tip?

1 0 percent?

Let's not spoil him.

Go ahead, Buster.

Blubber wants to talk to ya.

I'd better go, huh?

If he gets tough, don't worry.

I'll be right here...

under the table.

Buy a rug for me.

Ho-hum.

Ho-ho-hum.

Garcon!

Who is that?

The local bookmaker?

Here's 287 kolacs

for the little snack...

and 5 for you.

Get yourself a facial.

Come, come.

Let Orville in on this deal.

How'd you get the spinach?

Funny thing.

A guy I've never seen...

gives me 2,500 kolacs...

that's 200 federal diplomas.

Are you listening?

200 skins?

What for?

I sold him something.

You've got nothing. We've

already hocked your pivot tooth.

It wasn't much but it

was all I had, and was

he anxious to get it.

What did you sell him?

Look, Orville,

I want you to keep very calm.

Don't get excited.

What did you

sell him?

You.

Oh, well,

for a minute I--

Me!

Wait a minute.

Give him those fish back!

You can't sell me.

I'm not a horse.

It's the way I comb my hair.

You and I know you're not.

These people are peculiar.

What are you talking about?

Why would a guy buy a guy?

I don't know.

They buy any old junk.

You can't do that to me.

You can't sell me.

You don't own me.

No, not now.

He does.

What does he

want me for?

I didn't ask him.

You sold me to a zombie

and you don't know

what he wants me for?

You've got to be careful

when you're dickering...

knock 'em off while they're hot.

Do you know why they buy guys?

For slaves!

They hit you with whips,

put you to pickin' cotton,

beat you--

They don't pick cotton here.

They beat you for

whatever they're pickin'.

I saw ''Uncle Tom's

Cabin'' twice.

Relax a minute.

I've got it figured out.

I've got plans.

But I--

I've got the guy's address

and I'm gonna get you back.

When I do, we'll be where we are

now, only 200 bucks ahead.

What's that, nothing?

That's something.

It might work.

A hundred of that

is mine.

That's what I'm

telling you.

Put me in the higher brackets.

No use giving it

to you now.

If anything goes wrong,

the money'd be wasted.

Goes wrong?

I'm gettin' out of here.

You might have sold me but

you're not gonna deliver me...

because I'm not

gonna be here.

Wait.

I don't have to deliver you.

They're coming to pick you up.

What? Pick me up?

Who do you think you're

playing with? Children?

You're talking to Turkey,

the man with the muscles.

Wait! Turn the lights on.

Let go of me.

Wait a second.

Aunt Lucy! Aunt Lucy!

The least you could do

is wrap me as a gift.

Geoffrey!

Geoffrey!

Huh?

What do ya want?

You're a naughty boy.

You shouldn't have done

that wicked thing to Orville.

You must find him,

Geoffrey,

and bring him back.

I'm so distressed.

I didn't know,

Aunt Lucy.

Honest I didn't.

The fellow I sold him to...

was only a jobber and he

resold him later at a profit.

He wouldn't tell me

to who.

''To whom,'' Geoffrey.

Yes, ma'am, to whom.

I still don't know where he is.

You've got to find him.

Little Orville needs you.

What can I do?

I've been looking for a week!

Remember that song

you used to sing?

The one Orville loved?

Which song was that?

# Ho-ho-hum,

you hear me shoutin' #

# Ho-ho-hum, zoot #

You remember.

Well, go through the streets

singing that song.

Little Turkey-- Orville, will

hear you and reveal himself.

It might work at that!

Aunt Lucy, you, being up there,

must see everything.

You could save me trouble

if you tell me where he is.

I'm not supposed to.

It's against the rules.

Come on, Aunt Lucy.

I won't crack to nobody.

If you go to the marketplace,

head east 200 paces...

you'll come to--

I can't talk to you anymore.

Here comes Mr.Jordan!

Aunt Lucy!

Aunt Lucy!

#Ain't got a dime

to my name #

#What a terrible shame #

# Ho-hum #

# Ho-ho-hum #

#Just found

a hole in my shoe #

#And my stockin'

shows through #

# Ho-hum #

# Ho-ho-hum #

# I know that when you're

as free as a bird in a tree #

# Life is a

wonderful whim #

# Look at the crank

with his dough in the bank #

# Don't you

feel sorry for him #

# Rollin' along

at a loss #

# Never gatherin' moss #

# Ho-hum #

# Ho-ho

ho-ho-hum #

Take it.

##

# I'm no terrific success #

# I ought to worry

I guess #

# Ho-hum #

#Whoa-ho

ho-hum #

# I like

a shady old tree #

#What's the matter

with me #

# Ho-hum #

[ Crashing ]

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