Road to Morocco Page #4

Cuddle with a cobra.

Happy fangs!

You can't do this to me!

Bye, fellows.

#Moonlight becomes you #

#It goes with your hair #

# You certainly know

the right thing #

# To wear #

# Moonlight becomes you #

# I'm thrilled

at the sight #

#And I could get

so romantic #

#Tonight #

#You're all dressed up

to go dreaming #

# Now don't tell me

I'm wrong #

#And what a night

to go dreaming #

# Mind if I tag along #

#If I say

I love you #

# I want you to know #

# It's not just because

there's moonlight #

#Although #

# Moonlight

becomes you so #

## [ Whistling ]

##

# Moonlight becomes you #

## [ Whistling ]

#What a beautiful you #

##

# Moonlight and you #

#You're all dressed up

to go dreaming #

# Now don't tell me

I'm wrong #

#And what a night

to go dreaming #

# Mind if I tag along #

# If I say I love you #

# I want you to know #

# It's not just because

there's moonlight #

#Although #

# Moonlight

becomes you so ##

Orville, wake up!

Wake up.

Okay, Mom, I'll get

a job tomorrow.

No, no, no.

Wake up!

What's the matter?

The princess is unfaithful.

She cares nothing for you.

I'll see you in

the hat shop later.

Listen!

At this moment, she and

your friend are in

each other's arms.

Yeah, well--

What?

Yes. Look.

The lowdown,

double-crossing centipede!

Trying to climb into my shoes

and pull the roof over his head.

The crawling lizard!

I'll show him what a salami

has gotta go through.

Don't waste your anger

upon them.

Ahhh!

Let us fly together.

Okay, but let go

of my landing gear.

You and I, thus,

and thus, and thus

will my love consume you.

From manufacturer

direct to consumer.

I go!

Excuse me.

Beloved.

Beloved!

Thus.

I g--

Let me ask you something,

Princess.

Suppose you put off

this wedding a little,

and I hung around a little,

and you grew to like me.

Wouldn't that change things?

No, Geoffrey,

it would not.

I like you now.

The more I get to like you,

the more reason I will have

to marry Orville.

You like me so you're

gonna marry Orville.

That's a new

kind of brush.

That is the way it must be.

There are many things

you don't understand.

Later you will know.

Before you get hooked up

to that character,

there's a few things

you ought to know.

What do you mean?

Sit down.

To give an idea of what kind of

double-crossin' hoodlum he is--

Oh, no. It's too fantastic.

You'd never believe it.

Go on, what happened?

We're broke and he sells me,

his best friend, for 200 bucks.!

- Practically gives me away.

- I thought you sold him?

That's the way he tells it.

There's two sides to everything.

That's impossible.

The men brought Orville to me.

They come to pick me up

and get him by mistake.

I don't under--

By rights, I should

be in his spot.

You should be marrying me

instead of him. There's

two sides to everything.

Ow! Hey!

What's the big idea?

There's two sides

to everything.

Princess, he's here.

Mullay Kassim!

Mullay Kassim,

my lord.

Where is this--

this dog?

Hold your anger.

Wait until you've he--

I've already heard.

It's whispered that on

the day set for our wedding,

you're planning to marry

this... American!

Is it true?

Tell me.

Yes, Kassim,

it is true.

But it is only--

Enough!

Come, Ahmed Caspa.

Let us find this man.

Let us see the color of his

liver... hang his carcass

for the jackals to nibble.

No, wait.

First you must hear the words

of Hyder Khan, the wise one.

Hyder Khan?

Very well, Shalmar.

Five minutes does not matter

in the life of a cockroach.

Come.

And it is here, written in

the stars, O Lion of the Desert,

that the first husband of

the Princess Shalmar...

will die a violent death

within the week of the marriage.

What is that

you say?

It is also written...

that her second husband

will be blessed with

long life and happiness.

Now do you understand?

The American,

as my first husband,

will die within the week.

Then, as the wise one said,

I will be free to marry

the man I love.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

This is a great joke.

It'll be retold as long

as men live in Karameesh.

First time I ever saw

steam heat in print.

Orville.

Orville?

Just when it was

getting interesting.

Hello, Hon.

Did you tell Geoffrey he's

not to stay for the wedding?

That we didn't want

him here at all?

I hinted at it.

I gave him a map and

provisions for 3 months.

I can't understand why

you don't like him.

He's one of the

nicest men I've ever met.

He's a nice fellow,

as nice fellows go:

and, why don't he?

There's something

I must tell you.

This is a very

strange country.

Yeah.

Like you running into me

and buying me like I was

a potato.

And me baked ever since.

Ho-hum.

No, I mean we have

very strange customs,

very strange laws.

For the first week of a marriage

a man and wife live separately.

Yeah, well, every--

Huh?

It is a custom

thousands of years old.

Customs... you make 'em,

you break 'em, they come and go.

Did I tell you

about Prohibition?

It has been so

for thousands of years.

There can be

no other way.

Honey, don't take on so.

It's only a week.

Yes, only a week.

Orville, when I look at you

and think of our marriage,

I can't help crying.

You're so young...

much, much too young.

You don't have to worry

about me, baby.

I just read a book.

Oso Bucco,

come here!

When was

this American born?

I can't finish his tomb

until I have the date.

I don't know, Ahmed.

We don't know

what we're doing.

Another thing... we're making

his coffin too small.

I tried my wife

in it this morning.

Her feet were

hanging out.

What are we

going to do?

We're just guessing.

We're going to do a sloppy job.

While the American is alive

why don't we measure him?

We couldn't do that!

He would find out.

There are ways.

There are ways!

Come on.

Right now I could use

a hole in my head.

Could we disturb you,

Master?

What do you want?

If it is not too much trouble,

we would like to measure you.

What for?

We are making something for you.

It's a surprise.

Something for

the wedding.

This is for

after the wedding.

- Sort of a male trousseau?

- Yes, Master, sort of.

All right, go ahead.

Measure away.

Thank you, Master.

It will be brief.

Waist,

thirty-four.

The princess has an eye for

beauty, so pretty me up.

Sew in plenty of muscles.

Make it zooty.

We will make you look

even better than you do now.

Oh, thanks.

Chest normal,

forty-one.

Normal, forty-one.

Chest expanded,

forty-one.

Ches--

Give me room.

I like to spread out.

Perhaps the master

would lie down.

Certainly.

5' 1 1 '' overall.

5' 1 1 '' overall.

Put a lot of padding in it.

I don't want anything stiff.

I assure you, it will be

no stiffer than yourself.

- Good day.

- Good day, Master.

Good day.

One question, Master.

What is the date of your birth?

Birth?

What do you want that for?

- It is for the record.

- September 1 3th, 1 91 3.

On a Friday.

Thank you, Master. We must go.

We have to carve--

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