Road to Utopia Page #2

10 dollars!

I'll try for 15.

We are building, however,

it's a big box and there's

room in there for both of you.

The spirits will have to

take dead aim this time.

Atch-it-way, Ester-chay.

Matoom-bomba, Sam-cheron

on-the-half-shell.

Hiya, George!

Welcome home, Abe!

Looks like a spirit got

away with this one, folks.

That's the spirit.

Sometimes he puts,

sometimes he takes.

Who's next? Just

bring a buck in a truck.

Ten dollars.

Twenty-five.

Twenty dollars here.

Don't get shut out.

Wait a minute.

Let's try in here.

There they are!

Out the

back way!

Just a moment,

please.

They don't seem to

think we're on the level.

Some people are

so suspicious.

Ghost-O! I didn't think there

was one more way to get the cops

after us, but you found it!

50 for Duke, 50 for Chester.

1 0 for Duke, 1 0 for Chester.

Some life. Always one jump

ahead of the Sheriff.

5 for Duke, 5 for Chester.

That boat sails

in 20 minutes.

Let it sail.

Look, mastermind,

the tour is over.

We've been posse-baitin'

every town from coast to coast.

We just ran out of towns.

From now on, it's oceans

and we take boats.

A Confederate ten-spot!

How can people be so crooked?

We're taking

the boat to New York.

Not that boat.

Going the wrong way?

It's going south,

should be going north.

Going north?

Where they got that yellow stuff...

that ever-lovin' powder.

Gold?

That's right.

Alaska!

Yes.

No you don't! Alaska?

It's so cold...

if you shake hands,

they take it and throw it away.

It's Utopia.

Everybody's getting gold.

I got all the gold

I want in my teeth.

I'm takin' my dough to Brooklyn

and opening a Turkish bath--

with tables for ladies.

Where're you going

with all that cabbage?

I'm gonna pickle it.

Yours? All of it?

What happened to 50-50?

All of it.

You've been leading me

by the nose, chiseling

me right and left.

Me chiseling you?

I got a record

of every chizz.

This is fantastic.

It's right here

in black and white.

Niagara Falls...

$300 for hospital bills.

All you had to do was

find some yokel and send him

over the falls in a barrel.

It was a great stunt.

I almost

broke my neck.

Pittsburgh, Chicago,

and how 'bout Kansas City?

You picked my pocket of

7 5 bucks so you could take

Mabel Bronschweiger on a buggy.

Mabel Bronschweiger.

Lady blacksmith.

She was your girl.

I sat in the hotel lobby

while you took her for

a ride in the woods.

She was in fresh air.

Didn't I front for

you in Oklahoma?

Hilda,

the oilman's daughter?

Sent you in there.

Was she born or did

they have to drill for her?

$1 200 worth right there,

but I'll settle for this.

You wanna go to Alaska

and be a blubber-ball for

a bunch of trained seals?

Go ahead, I'm

headin' home.

I can't stand in

your way.

If that's the way you feel,

that's the way you feel.

That's the way

I feel about it.

Don't start tellin' my fortune.

It won't do you any good.

What do you think of this?

A black nine on a red jack.

You use those cards to trick me

in every crooked deal we had.

No more, I'm too smart.

You're wastin' you're time,

DukeJohnson.

I'm goin' right back

where I-- What is it?

What's it say?

It's nothing.

You can say that again.

I know those cards.

This is amazing!

They're as phony as you are.

It's lucky I'm smart--

What is it?

What do you see?

You're not interested.

It's a partnership?

It's us.

We're back in New York.

New York?

Yes, and we're rich.

We're driving down to 5th Avenue

in a gold-plated carriage.

5th Avenue?

Yeah, we're sittin' there

smoking dollar cigars...

and we're throwing $50 bills

at the round haircuts.

5th Avenue?

We just turned

down 42nd Street.

Wait'll I get back

in the carriage.

Where you been?

You don't want that crowd

to get all that dough?

Let them have it.

We've got billions.

Where'd

we get it?

Utopia.

Alaska? Pretty smart.

Gave me a fast shuffle, huh?

You'd better face it.

The cards say Alaska.

No wonder,

it's a cold deck.

This seems to be a scene

they put in after I saw

the picture in the studio.

Obviously a lot of extras--

I don't know.

Read all about it.

''Van Hoyden Murderers

Still at Large. ''

Extra paper.

Read all about it.

Extra paper.

Police Anticipate

an Early Arrest.

Van Hoyden's Murderers

Still at Large. Extra.

Hey, boy!

See what happened

to Happy Hooligan.

Careful, don't get hurt.

You'll snap off a thumb.

Keep it.

Well, Chester, looks like

the end of the line for you and I.

There goes Chester and

there goes little old Duke.

That's pretty heavy carfare.

How're you gonna make it?

I'll get along somehow.

Don't worry about me.

Well, Duke,

I guess this is it.

I never thought

we'd end this way.

It's so different.

I'm holdin' the dough

and you're holdin' the bag.

I never thought

I'd have the biggest end.

You've always had

much the biggest end.

Where do you keep your butter?

It was great while it lasted.

What a combo.

Lot of laughs.

Lot of snickers.

We had a couple of things

that money couldn't buy.

I usually got the ugly one.

No hard feelings.

No hard

feelings at all.

So long.

So long.

Well, see ya.

Chester?

Huh?

I can't let you go like this.

Not without letting you know...

whatever happens,

you can always count on me.

That's fine, Duke,

just fine.

I want you to feel that

whatever I have is yours.

Somehow I feel that

whatever you have is mine.

Duke, that little speech

touched me. We're pals.

If we want something,

we don't have to ask for it.

We know it's there

and we take it.

This is it, son. Let me

have one last look at you.

Duke--

Don't speak. Don't say it.

Go quickly and don't look back.

So long, Duke!

Good-bye, Chester.

No hard feelings.

I forgive you for everything;

Hilda, Mabel, the whole works.

Even for trying

to pick my pocket just now.

Why, you dirty rogue!

Wait a minute there!

Emergency!

Look out!

I gotta catch a boat!

Look out!

Out of my way!

Out of my way!

Whoops!

Out of your way.

Spread out boys, you're liable

to get blood all over you.

Chester, whatever seems

to be the trouble?

''Trouble,'' he says?

''Don't look back,'' he says?

I oughta--

Chester, don't fight this thing.

It's too big for you.

Like it says in the cards,

you're on your way to Alaska.

Huh?

Alaska?

I'm goin' to New York!

Stop the boat!

Wait!

What's goin'

on here?

Alaska!

We're goin' to Alaska!

He's gone, this boy--

The gold and everything,

Don't listen to

that cheap phony.

I'm perfectly sane.

Would a sane man go to Alaska

in a Palm Beach suit?

I'm goin' to Brooklyn

to open a Turkish bath--

See what I mean?

Take him to my cabin.

I've handled him before.

I don't want to go to Alaska.

It's cold there!

Icicles, popsicles,

Eskimo pies!

Take your hands off me.

Look, I'm sane.

2 and 2 is 4.

4 and 4 is 8.

8 and 8 is--

[ Duke ]

Ahh.! Ahh.!

Take me below.

He's gone.

We've lost this boy.

You wouldn't do this

if I was in shape.

You need any help,

just call us.

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