Road to Utopia Page #5

Come in.

You can take the lantern

out of the window, Sal gal.

The mighty McGurk is home.

Sit down.

Make yourself cozy.

I don't mind

if I do.

Well, this is

more like it.

Seems like they sent you

the wrong boy.

I asked

for McGurk.

You must've

spelled it with a ''J''.

I knew you'd come to

your senses sooner or later.

They all do.

It's not hard

to understand.

Where're

you goin'?

Cigarette.

You've got one.

I have,

haven't I?

I guess I'm a little mixed up.

See what you do to me?

You can't help yourself, babe.

You just joined the club.

Must have quite

a membership.

Coast to coast.

We can always squeeze

in a new member.

You're quite a panic with

the ladies, aren't you?

I'm murder when

I make my move.

Tell me,

how do

you do it?

It's the usual routine;

flowers, Sunday dinner

at home with the folks,

a ride in the park,

sing a little song and uh--

Sing a little song.

The song does it?

It sort of limbers

them up a little.

That song may be

just what we need here.

Baby, you and me

don't need no scales.

Come on.

You're not

going anywhere.

There's the piano.

Let's hear you practice

what you preach.

##

#Welcome

to my dream #

#And how are you #

#Will you

be here long #

# Or just

passin' through #

# Brush off

that stardust #

#Where have

you been #

#Don't tell me

your rainbow #

#Was late gettin' in #

#Welcome to my dream #

# It now seems real #

# You're what

it needed #

# To make it ideal #

# So glad you got here #

# I hope you can stay #

# But welcome

to my dream #

#Anyway ##

What's the matter, gal?

Want another chorus?

Later.

Later?

Midnight,

my apartment?

What for?

I'm here now.

A cozy little supper?

I'm not ''hongry.''

I'll go work up

an appetite.

Hope just said

that line, didn't he?

Why should he get

all the laughs?

Here it is.

Nice work, Miss Van Hoyden.

You know what to do.

Keep 'em here in town.

Give me 48 hours. I'll stake out

the claim and bring papers.

I don't know how

to thank you.

Forget it. We're only

too happy to take care of you.

You be careful. You've got

a couple of bad boys there.

I'll handle Mr. Sperry

and Mr. McGurk.

All right,

mush!

So you finally got

yourself a date?

You said it.

You pick up

a lonely walrus?

You know I don't cut

into your territory.

You know that school of

experience? I enrolled.

Tonight I take my

first exam... in cooking.

Never pass. I have

a date with teacher.

That's fine. I like--

What do you mean?

Midnight, supper,

her apartment.

I shall be there.

Doing what, waiting on tables?

That supper's for Chester.

Listen, fatter-than-me,

you're over-matching yourself.

She made the date with me.

Why would she make a date with

two guys at the same time?

Why not?

How about that? This youth

says you made a date with him.

Yes, I did.

You're darn right.

You invited me.

You sellin' tickets?

I like both of you so much,

and Sperry and McGurk always

work together as a team.

Not on everything, we don't.

Let's go downstairs

and talk this over.

Who was it that said,

''Two's company, three's a crowd?

Wasn't he silly?

Yes.

Yes.

I see no reason why

a girl can't have a

good time with two fellas.

As long as one's

her grandfather.

You don't

look that old.

So long, Sal.

Nice knowin' you.

Where you going?

North to cool off.

Don't you have

to have a map?

I got my half.

I got my half.

Half?

I'll see you

when we get back.

Sled's outside.

Let's get our coats and blow.

Where are they?

21 8.

What a blizzard!

We should've put on

some warm clothes.

Hope there's no

bear hunters around.

Mine's still alive.

Where do you step

on the starter?

No starter?

Must be last

year's model.

It's a dog sled!

We'll pull

it ourselves.

Not me!

In a blizzard?

Are you mad?

We're not dogs, you know.

I've got to get a sled.

No dogs till tomorrow.

Will you have any by daybreak?

I've got to get away.

Here we are,

off on another road!

And what a road!

Case those trees,

that snow, that scenery!

And get a load

of that bread and butter.

Bread and butter?

That's a mountain.!

May be a mountain to you,

but it's bread and butter to me.

Well, keep it shady.

I'm in a hurry.

Think you can

handle it?

Handle it!

I was raised up here. Mush!

# I don't care

where I'm going #

#Just as long

as I'm with you #

# Put it there, pal

put it there #

I saw ''Let's Face It.''

And I saw ''Dixie'' too.

# Put it there, pal

put it there #

#This country's

full of wolves #

# But you should make

'em laughingstocks #

#The girls are fond

of blubber #

#And the igloos

have no locks #

#You'll wow the lady Eskimos

They don't wear bobby socks #

#You're so faithful

and so fair #

Hit me with

your biscuit hook.

Coming with some hot skin!

#You've got that something

in your voice so right

for selling cheese #

# Put it there, pal

put it there #

I think your jokes

are great.

Do you?

It's just folks

are hard to please.

Yeah.

Your hand, sir.

Put that back

in the bowl.

#Your face could make

a fortune just your nose

should make a lot #

# I like the way

you wear #

#Those gaudy-colored

shirts you've got #

#The only time a rainbow

ever covered up a pot #

#We make

a perfect pair #

# Put it there #

My colleague.

My cohort.

My crony

my friend.

Companions.

Chums to the end.

Confederates.

Like meat

and potatoes.

Or salt and tomatoes.

# Boy what a blend #

# Don't put it in the paper

Don't put it on the air #

# Don't put it on the shelf

put it there #

Look who's here!

Santa Claus!

Say, there must be

a department store around here.

Well, well!

Chester and Duke.

Whoa!

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Got your Christmas

presents right here.

On your way, Fatso.

Think we're gonna fall

for that kid stuff?

You mean you don't believe

in Santa Claus?

What do you think we are?

Children? Infants?

Babies?

Very well.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

I'll just give 'em

to somebody else.

You'll be sorry!

Half a map! I let

two-bit hoodlums cross me up.

I didn't give 'em

much credit.

Maybe our nightingale

is holding out.

That's all she got.

I'll get

the other half--

No, you don't!

I'm not going to tangle

with the Mounties.

Van Hoyden

got half the map.

Let her get the other.

Suppose I go help

her out?

Yeah! I like that.

I don't!

I'm running this show.

You'll both go.

We'll give Kate a chance.

If that doesn't work,

then you take over.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Let's go down

and get them.

You know what Ace said.

We try Kate's way first.

McKenzie's cabin's there.

You understand?

Give me till

tomorrow morning.

We'll be waiting here.

And I was gonna

open a Turkish bath!

You had to feed

that monster!

And you had

to bring me to Alaska!

You should

quit grousin'!

You shoulda worn

ear muffs.

What for?

My ears fell off an hour ago.

We find that mine,

you'll be a rich man.

My hands are frozen, my feet,

everything's frozen!

You'll be sittin'

on top of the world!

Everything's frozen!

My nose is like

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes