Road to Zanzibar Page #3

Let us in on what?

I guess you'd

call it a diamond mine.

Never mind what you guess

I'd call it. What is it?

A diamond mine.

Keep your head now. Hold onto

yourself. Don't get excited.

What did you say?

We got a diamond mine.

Ha, ha, it's hot for you,

isn't it? No, I'm all right.

Tropical sun.

Take it easy.

The man in the

white coat will be here.

I got the documents,

the map, the rights, the deeds.

They're all signed,

sealed and delivered.

Kimble gave you a diamond

mine? He couldn't give it.

He said that would

involve the corporation.

We had to pay him

a little something.

A little something?

How much?

Well, roughly...

How much? How much?

About five grand.

Five grand?

Half that dough is mine.

It took years.

I killed myself to get it...

four times!

Oh, you're a great

little kidder.

Cheery Chuck.

That's funny.

You had me upset

for a while.

When do we sail? I'm not

kidding. We got us a diamond mine.

Yeah, we got a...

diamond mine! Where is it?

It's one of those things. It hasn't been

worked for centuries. It's kinda lost.

All we gotta do is find it. That's a cinch.

You just whistle.

Put an ad in the paper.

Give me the papers. Hey,

hey, where you going?

I'm gonna get our dough back

and stick Kimble in a thimble!

Wait a minute!

Now, wait! Wait a minute!

I want my money. You're gonna crab the gag.

You oughta see the yacht

this fellow's got.

I could have a yacht, if I

could run into a yokel like you.

Wait, you heard

what the waiter told us.

Everybody knows him.

He's a philanthropist.

I don't care who he votes

for, I want my money.

Here comes the owner of the

hotel. I'll leave it to him.

Mr. Saunders, could we see you? Certainly.

Do you know Mr. Charles Kimble?

Kimble? Of the Kimble Mines?

I should say so.

The family is one

of the richest in Africa.

Even before

they rooked us?

Why don't you trust me?

I know what I'm doing.

Yes, Charles,

charming fellow.

Delightful company.

Loads of fun.

He's a little eccentric,

of course.

But, you know after all... Wait, what

do you mean he's a little eccentric?

He has a certain weakness

for signing papers.

Not that his signature

is any good.

If the family didn't watch,

Charles would sell you anything.

Anything? He'd even sell

one of his diamond mines.

Give me the papers.

Wait, wait!

I'm sorry,

Fearless.

He was such a nice fellow.

There it goes. 5,000 bucks.

Blood money squeezed

out of my arteries.

I met his sister. He showed me

corporation papers and things.

How was I to know he was wacky?

Looked as sane as you... saner.

This is the end

of everything between us.

For years I've been breaking my neck

'cause you asked me, 'cause we were pals.

Now, you toss away

our money.

I've stood for plenty, but now

I'm through. Know what I mean?

Now, look.

Look here, Junior.

We've been through a lot

since we were kids.

We've been through

thick and thin.

I never figured it was

your dough or my dough.

I thought everything

belonged to both of us.

What about that blonde in

Brooklyn? You didn't want a share.

You wanted to be

the whole corporation.

You wound up as

the holding company.

Let's forget about those

things. Let's forget about you?

I'm loaded with your treatment. I'm fed up.

I don't care where you go

or what you do.

Just forget about me, huh?

Get yourself another pigeon.

Hey, Chuck, come here. I

thought you walked out on me.

Don't be silly. I could walk

out on my right arm easier.

Let's see now.

600 bucks for the tickets.

The hotel bill.

Fifty for you.

Fifty for me.

Fifty here. Fifty there. Look,

we've never done nothing crooked.

We agreed. We did have

to go up the sleeve.

But we give the sucker

a fair shake for his sugar.

We never robbed nobody.

We never cut nobody's throat.

Fifty there.

How'd that five get in there?

- Fifty. Fifty.

- Where'd you get that money?

Don't worry.

I got it legitimate.

I was getting a drink in a dive.

There were a couple of fellows.

They were loaded. Naturally,

I struck up a conversation.

What are you getting

at? Wait'll you hear it.

We had a few drinks

and to get down to cases...

I unloaded that phoney

diamond mine on them. You what?

I sold 'em that mine. I got

our dough back, five grand!

- Who's operating now?

- I can't believe it.

It was a case of superior mind

arguing them into it.

That... and the Mickey

I managed to slip them.

Come on. Get your things.

Let's get going.

What's the hurry? Those fellows,

they might be a little mad.

Besides, my rabbit's foot

just crouched.

Let's move on, huh? Oh, no

hurry. We're in good company.

You amaze me. This is a

talent I didn't know you had.

- What kinda fellows were they?

- Well, they were...

That's the kind of fellows.

Here, here.

Leave that stuff...

Hiya.

You are not thinking of

walking out on us, are you?

Oh, no, we were just figuring

on taking a short jaunt.

We might toddle to the country.

We gotta see a sick tiger.

Your sick tiger

has got to wait.

Just a minute, friend.

Who are you?

We have mighty good reasons. You have?

$7,000 worth

of good reasons.

$7,000...

you told me five.

Oh, the other pocket.

There's more?

The interest mounts up fast. I

was gonna surprise you. How nice.

I'm afraid your friend

hasn't told you everything.

He promised to take us

to a lost diamond mine.

What kind of diamonds

are in it?

Lost diamonds.

He tells us he is the only

one who knows where it is.

Oh, yes, I knew that.

He runs over there quite often.

I have a tough time

keeping him away from the joint.

That's fine. Now, there is

only one thing I want to know.

When do we start?

When do we leave,

Fearless?

Uh, well...

It's Tuesday now.

Yeah, all day.

You couldn't come back

about Friday afternoon, late?

One more of your jokes

and Solomon, here,

will tear out your insides...

and the birds will carry

them home to their young.

How do you like that? I

think it's rather good.

It's a nice switch.

This time the bird gets you.

Get your clothes.

You are going with us.

We're going with them.

We're going with them.

We're going with them.

Patty cake, patty cake,

baker's man.

Bake a cake

as fast as you...

- He must have seen the picture.

- Get him.

Ohhh!

Chuck!

This must be the nowhere that

everyone is always 500 miles from.

Why did you have to hop us

on a boat going the wrong way?

With those two guys after us, I'd have

hopped on a turtle if it'd been moving.

A couple of more days here

and I'm gonna be punchy.

Don't go wolfing at me.

I didn't get us into this.

Did I sell Lebec

the mine or did you?

You bought it, or I

wouldn't have had it.

If I didn't have it, I

couldn't have sold it. Umm.

And if I didn't sell it, we

wouldn't be here, would we? Uh-uh.

I don't get it.

Psst.!

Hey, hey, up here.

Come up here,

will you, please?

- Both of us?

- Yes, it's a matter of life and death.

Death.

Yeah, but for who?

No, for whom.

Please do and hurry.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes