Rob the Mob Page #5

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You know, Sal,

I never was supposed to be who I am.

I was just a guy

and a food truck

making rice balls for a living.

Yeah.

Everybody thought I should open up

my own restaurant, right? Yeah.

But where was I going to get

the money for a sit down?

I didn't even have money

to pay my own rent.

But then one day, someone

asks me to make a delivery.

So I say why not, you know.

It's on my route anyway,

so I said okay.

So he handed me

a manila envelope.

That one delivery,

it bought my son a bicycle.

Then pretty soon I'm dropping off

manilas all over Long Island.

But then one day,

a manila came up short.

Fifty Gs short.

So everybody's looking at me

because I'm the guy

driving a food truck

making rice balls for a living.

Who?

Nobody knows this, Sal.

Come on, who took it?

It was Tony Vella.

Tony Vella?

Tony Vella,

who used to run the whole north shore?

So I went to see him.

Pretty soon, Tony Vella,

he didn't run

the north shore no more.

He didn't run any shore no more.

Whoa, whoa, whoa

wait a minute, AI.

Are you telling me that

you took out Tony Vella?

He made me look like a fool.

Thought I'd just roll over and

take the lumps from the boys.

Leave his office

with my tail between my legs.

I was just trying

to take care of my family, Sal.

And that's when I got the call.

The boys came to pick me up,

they took me in.

I thought they

were going to take me out.

Of course, you can't

take out a made guy!

So they put me in a room.

You're talking about...

Our boss.

It turns out Tony Vella had been

skimming off the top for years.

So, he was thankful.

He took care of me, Sal.

He offered me a loan.

He gave me a restaurant.

I thought I was taking care

of my family.

Now here I am.

Mrs. Hoffman, look,

it's very simple.

You leave the keys in the car,

poof, the car goes missing.

No more car payments.

Yeah, my cousin Nicky

will pick it up.

Yeah, he's got

a chop-shop.

Well, then what's your big idea?

I'm just trying

to help you out here.

You know, Mrs. Hoffman,

I'm on parole.

I can't have this conversation.

Honey,

you're not going to believe what this...

Listen to this.

What?

"If I went in

and robbed a church

"and came out with a steeple

sticking out of my...

"...my ass, I'd never plea."

Did you read this?

I just can't get enough Gotti.

It's crazy!

I know, it's great. Amazing.

Oh we follow, do you follow?

Oh, yeah.

Do you follow the Gotti trial?

Oh, yeah.

So do we.

Yeah?

Yeah.

It's going on today, right now.

I mean, it's going on right now.

If we weren't here,

we'd be at the trial.

Anybody can go to the trial?

You just walk in.

You don't need a badge?

No, anyone can just walk in.

Yeah. Anybody can go?

Really?

Oh, yeah.

You know, we should go.

Mr. Lovell,

I really think that you

will find it very fascinating.

I know because

of your mind. Your mind.

I can't and you can't.

We're working.

I'm the boss.

I don't understand,

you're the boss.

I mean,

the only guy who can do that is the boss.

You tell this punk,

I, me, John Gotti,

will sever your motherfucking

head off, cocksucker.

Now Mr. Gravano, would you explain

Mr. Gotti's words for the Court?

Oh, yeah.

John was upset.

One of our soldiers didn't want

to go to Spark's Steak House.

See, that, the rat,

Sammy the Bull.

Steaks at Spark's are all right.

He didn't want to be part

of the hit on Paul Castellano.

Why not?

This is amazing.

Right? Are you happy?

You look so happy.

- I am...

- And get them all to agree to it.

Now Mr. Gotti said that he was

going to ask for permission?

Yeah, he was going over to Waikiki

Club to get it straightened out.

That's the social club

at 103rd Avenue in Queens.

Big AI's joint.

Now, did Mr. Gotti receive

permission to kill Mr. Castellano?

Nah. AI...

That's Alfonse Fiorello?

Yeah, Big AI told John

to f*** off.

See, it ain't easy getting

permission to whack a boss.

It violates the natural order.

A mouse don't attack a lion.

And you don't whack a boss.

Hey.

Hey.

I almost couldn't show

for our monthly meeting.

Could I get a glass of water?

I figured the poet laureate

of pimps and scumbags

would be over

at the 'Trial of the Century.'

I'll be there for the verdict.

I don't need to watch Gotti

toy with you guys again.

You sound burnt out.

Maybe you ought

to retire, write a book.

Don't all you newspaper guys got a

novel buried somewhere in your heart?

Yeah, I don't want

to write a novel.

I'm trying to find a six

letter word for marsupial.

Maybe this will cheer you up.

What is this?

What the f*** is this?

This isn't real.

You recognize that guy?

Bobby D?

Yeah.

What is it?

Seriously, what's going on?

Two kids, they held up

two social clubs.

Kid walks in with an Uzi,

cleans the place out,

and what are these guys going to do,

call the cops?

Who's this?

Who's doing this?

I told you, two kids.

Who? What, local kids?

Yeah.

Who-who are they?

Where are they from? No f***ing idea.

A boy and a girl.

A girl?

A girl is doing this?

Yeah, she drives the car,

he holds the gun.

Why are they in their underwear?

What's going on?

I couldn't tell you.

Maybe they stole their pants too,

I don't know.

Thirty years

I've been doing this.

I never thought them for boxers,

I'll tell you that.

Yeah, I'm thankful

for the boxers, believe me.

That was incredible.

Kill that guy. Whack that guy.

"A mouse

never attacks a lion."

Yeah, I'm going to use that.

Put it up on the board.

Baby, let me get a cigarette.

Hey, mouse.

Hey, I'm just a mouse.

Yeah, I'm a lion.

F*** off.

I can't attack you.

You know what's crazy to me is

that Giuliani started all this.

Yeah, that's the guy.

So it's like an Italian taking

down an Italian. That takes balls.

"You never, ever

go against your own blood."

Well, my editor

is going to like this.

Yeah, but you can't have these.

What do you mean?

Do you want a story or don't you?

I gave you the story.

You can't have these photos.

They're classified.

So lose one.

I need a picture.

You want a front story,

I need a picture.

Y-y-y-you're

a writer.

You paint the picture

with your words.

No, no, no, no,

no one is going to believe

I'm going to write this story.

I-I-I'm looking at the picture

and I don't believe it.

I need a picture.

You want a front page, I need a picture.

Look at that.

That's gold right there.

All right.

You can have one.

But I want that on the front page.

You got it.

You did that on purpose, right?

You made me promise you

a front page.

I can't promise.

I didn't say I promised.

Those guys are psychotic.

They don't belong in jail.

They belong in a psych ward.

And those names, Big AI and Fat Tony.

What was that club?

Waikiki Club.

The Waikiki, yeah.

Where the f*** did he say

that was again?

Waikiki was

like, in Asia, right?

Yeah, he

said Asia. Yeah.

China?

No.

No, it's a state of America.

Okay, yeah. Good one.

Waikiki, America.

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