Robot and Frank

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Call from Madison Weld.

Call from Madison Weld.

Hello.

Hey, Dad.

What? Huh?

Daddy, it's me, Madison. Hi!

Oh, yeah. Hey.

How are you doing?

I'm doing wonderful.

Turkmenistan is so beautiful.

I'm sorry I haven't called.

How are you?

Oh, I'm, you know, fine.

I'm okay.

Has Hunter been coming around?

Hunter?

Dad?

Connection lost.

Madison.

Hmm.

Hey, Frank.

Hey, there.

How are you doing?

I'm fine.

Just killing time, waiting

for my one and only patron.

Mr. Darcy does

all the real work, anyway.

So, what'll it be, the usual?

Well, I came for the books,

but I'd be more interested

in getting your phone number.

All right, let's see

if we can't find something

that you haven't read

three times already.

Good afternoon, Jennifer.

Might I help you

with something?

No, thank you, Mr. Darcy.

Very well.

I will resume book relocation.

Damn. I'm not going to be duct

taping books much longer.

Why?

Um... A new non-profit

is taking over the library

and they want to reimagine

the modern library experience.

So we're going to be retro-cool.

Call from Hunter Weld.

Is that your son, Hunter?

What?

Your son, Hunter.

Yes, that's my son.

HUNTER; Dad.

Dad.

Hello.

No.

No. I'm going

to eat at Harry's.

Dad, Harry's closed.

What are you talking about?

I ate here last week...

Dad?

Dad.

Hey. I told you to stop coming in here.

What did you take?

I was just looking

for some candles.

If I see you shoplifting

again, I am calling the cops.

Who is responsible for you?

Did you take a fizzy bath

bomb, you son of a b*tch?

Pass me. Pass me.

Dad.

You're right

in the middle of the road.

I thought we agreed you'd

wait for me to drive you.

Hunter.

You're going to get clipped

by a car coming around here.

What cars? We're in the

middle of the woods out here.

You know, I saw a

bobcat the other day.

Okay, would you

just get in, please?

Oh, what the hell is this?

It's one of Isaac's toys.

Just get in.

If you keep buying your kids

crap like this,

you're going to

spoil them rotten.

You in?

Yeah.

- Why?

- 'Cause then they can spend

their allowance

on whatever they want.

It teaches them

fiscal responsibility.

It teaches them

to be spoiled brats.

They get a choice.

They can save their money

or they can not save their money.

It's up to them.

But only if they get four gold

stars and no frowny faces.

I didn't buy you useless crap.

You turned out okay.

How's Princeton,

Mr. Big Shot?

Princeton? Dad, that

was 15 years ago.

Jesus Christ.

Look at this place.

How do you do this in a week?

Sometimes it's better

a little dusty.

Dusty would be an improvement.

This is gross.

This is just gross.

It's better than prison.

Cute. That, you remember.

There's nothing wrong

with my memory.

To be continued.

Excuse me.

Yep. I'm here.

I know. I just got to do this delicately.

He's in a mood.

I'm just... I'm trying to do the right thing.

Maybe he'll like it.

Love you.

Dad.

We gotta talk.

You want money?

What?

Money.

No, no. I don't...

No, no, I...

You have a problem.

You're worse

every time I come up here.

Princeton, Dad? And you thought

Harry's was still open.

I was joking. You're not sending

me to that brain center.

It's not a brain center, Dad. It's

a place where they can help you.

But no, that's not it.

I'm fine. I don't need your help.

I'm fine.

Would you listen?

I brought you something.

You have got to be kidding me.

I'm not this pathetic.

I don't need to be spoon-fed

by some goddamn robot.

Dad, it's not like that.

It's new.

It's more like a butler.

You're going to leave me

with this death machine?

What's the problem?

It's a robot.

Hi, Frank. It's a

pleasure to meet you.

How do you know?

All right.

Why don't you go on inside, tidy up, and

cook us whatever food you can find?

Okay, Hunter.

Good to meet you, Frank.

I like your house.

That thing is going to

murder me in my sleep.

Somebody's going to

murder you in your sleep.

What about your mother?

She's not going to want a

robot getting in her way.

Mom's got her own robot.

You know Mom doesn't live

here anymore, right?

You've been divorced

for 30 years.

Yeah, I know that.

That's not what I meant.

How can you not

be excited by this?

Where the hell did it get that?

I found a box of cake mix

in the cupboard, Frank.

If you don't mind me saying so,

I think I could be

a big help to you.

What do you say?

Get this hunk of crap

out of my house.

I don't know

what I'm supposed to do.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Dad.

I drive up here every week.

I don't see my kids.

Forget it. But the robot's

staying because it's expensive,

and you're going

to do what it says

or you are going to end up

in the memory center.

Because the last thing I need is you dying

all alone up here to be my fault, too.

I'm not asking you

to do anything.

No, of course not.

How the hell do I turn you off?

I'm sorry, Frank, but Hunter has

chosen for me to remain on.

I don't have

an off switch, Frank.

If you let go of me,

I'll do the dishes.

Go ahead.

Wake up, Frank.

It's 7:
00, Frank.

Wake up.

Frank, it's crucial that we establish

a set schedule for your day

to help keep you oriented.

Frank, I've reviewed

your medical records.

Are you finding your episodes of

disorientation increasing in frequency?

What the hell are you?

I'm a robot, Frank.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

How are you doing?

I'm fine, Frank.

Wake up.

Just bring me some cereal.

That cereal is full of

unhealthy ingredients.

I threw it away.

Don't throw away my stuff.

Frank, that cereal is for children.

Enjoy this grapefruit.

You're for children, stupid.

Today, we're going

to start a garden.

Oh, f*** this sh*t.

Frank, you need a project.

Mental stimulation

plus a regimented schedule

will vastly improve your cognitive functioning.

Besides, it's good exercise.

Frank, we're going to

have to work together.

You are a robot butler.

I'm not a butler, Frank.

I'm a health care aide

programmed to monitor and improve

your physical and mental health.

Yeah? Get out of my house.

If you're not going to cooperate with

me, I might as well not be here.

Fine with me.

If that's the way you feel,

I'll contact Hunter.

Good.

What are you doing?

Do you have a phone up there in that brain?

You calling him?

Look, you heard what he said.

He was trying to put

me into a nuthouse.

I don't recall

Hunter saying that.

There's nothing

wrong with my memory.

I'm fine, I'm telling you.

I'm fine.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

My memory is fi...

What am I doing?

I'm talking to an appliance.

I suggest you work with me.

I'm not gardening.

Can't you do that super fast?

Some things take time, Frank.

Sh*t, I hate hikes.

Goddamn bugs.

You see one tree,

you seen them all.

I just hate hikes.

While my program's goal is to improve your

health, I'm able to adapt my methods.

Would you prefer another

form of moderate exercise?

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