Rock Dog Page #3

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He's getting on the bus.

He's getting on the bus!

LINNUX:
Well, why are you

still talking to me?

Don't let him out of your sight!

Bring him to me.

We get him,

we get Snow Mountain. (laughs)

Get your suit and tie on, Skozz,

we are out of here! Whoo-hoo!

(shivers)

Thanks very much for the bus ride!

Oh, hey, do you know where I can find

Rock 'n' Roll Park?

Oh, okay. Good talk.

(woman speaking indistinctly over PA)

Hi there. Pardon me.

I'm just into town,

and I'm looking for a place...

Right on time.

(struggling)

RIFF:
We're gonna nail him from above,

so he don't see us coming.

I reel him in, you knock him out.

Okay, give me a hand.

(both grunting)

Okay. Flip your side around.

No, the other way.

No, not you, Skozz.

Come on, man, we don't got time for this.

All right, all right, let's roll.

(woman over PA)

Passenger Lawrence Gan,

please report to the supervisor's office

immediately, thank you.

(Riff chuckling)

Yeah, I got you now, mastiff.

(scope beeping)

Hold it steady, Skozz. Ready.

(machine powering up)

Aim.

Fire!

Whoa! Grab my feet, Skozz!

(crashing)

Sir, do you know

where Rock 'n' Roll Park is?

(car alarm blaring)

Oh!

(horn honking)

Hi!

Hey, do you know where I can find

Rock 'n' Roll Park?

(engine revving)

(screaming)

Oh! Whoa!

-ANIMAL:
Watch it!

-(crowd screaming)

Whoa!

(train horns honking)

Whoa!

(grunts)

(blues music playing in the distance)

(reggae music playing)

(punk music playing)

(jazz music playing)

(rap music playing)

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, boy.

Do not look over there,

but we got a nutjob at 12 o'clock.

- Oh, I just looked over there.

- I told you not to look over there.

I know you did, but when you tell me that,

it makes me want to look.

Do you know what this means?

This is fate!

Just like Mr. Scattergood!

Sorry, Angus Scattergood?

Yes! Yes!

Mr. Scattergood came to Rock 'n' Roll Park

and found a band in need

of a guitar player just like you!

This is unreal!

Sorry I'm late, dudes.

(stutters) Uh, who's the dog?

I'm Bodi. I'm your new guitar player.

Oh!

Oh, cool. I like that. Okay.

Yeah, you're the new... guitar player.

- Well, (scoffs) welcome to the band.

- Yes!

Oh. Uh, incidentally,

doesn't he have to do

some kind of auditional thing first?

Or am I mistaken?

- Oh, Trey...

- Well, it's just a formality, really.

Just a little thing we call a "shred-off."

PIG:
Shred-off?

TREY:
Yeah, we're gonna have a little

shred-off!

(crowd exclaiming, cheering)

(crowd) Shred-off!

(crowd chanting)

Shred-off! Shred-off!

What's a shred-off?

Who wants to tell him what a shred-off is?

Well, why don't I tell you?

A shred-off is just a little thing

where you play a lick,

and then I get to play a lick

and then you get to be in the band.

(laughs) That sounds fun!

You betcha!

(sighs)

(drum beats playing)

(guitar music playing)

(crowd cheering)

(guitar crashing)

(crowd laughing)

Is he in the band?

Left thumb says...

Right thumb says...

Aw, man, it's unanimous.

I think we're gonna take

a "Passadena" on this one.

(leaves rustling)

(grunts)

(exhales deeply)

Hey.

Sorry about Trey.

Yeah, you know,

don't let him go harshing your...

Whoa! Where'd these come from?

Um, you've had them. The whole time.

Uh, this is Germur.

Hey, Germ? Germur?

Okay, well he's, you know,

he comes and goes.

- I'm Darma. (chuckles)

- Bodi.

- I was so sure this was the band.

- Hey, you're gonna find one.

It doesn't just happen overnight,

you know.

I mean, we've been playing

in this park for, like, years.

Wow. Mr. Scattergood sure made it sound

easy on the old magic singing box.

The... magic... singing box?

Yeah. Fell out of the sky.

Almost hit me.

Oh!

- That happened to you, too?

-BODI:
Yeah.

My brother.

I'm-- I'm sorry. Did I hear you guys?

You guys are talking about

Angus. Scattergood.

Yeah?

Well, did you know that the dude

lives here in town?

- Really?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa! (grunts)

I think you ought to go up and meet him.

In fact, I insist that you do.

Ask him to give you some guitar lessons.

You could use them.

Oh, no. No, no. You can't just go talk

-to Angus Scattergood...

- Oh, sure he can.

You march on up there,

big old white house on top of the hill,

can't miss it,

and you tell him old Trey sent you.

Well, okay!

I've always wanted to meet him.

And one more thing!

Don't forget to kiss the gate!

It's good luck!

Kiss the gate, got it! Thanks!

(laughing)

What?

TOUR GUIDE:
(on PA) And to your right is

the home of rock legend Angus Scattergood.

Each year, thousands of wannabe musicians

ock to these gates

in the hope of meeting him,

only to have their dreams crushed.

Oh, look, here comes one now.

Moving on to our next stop...

(sniffs)

For good luck...

(electricity crackles)

(both gasp)

(doorbell rings)

- Whoa!

- Oh!

(glass shatters)

Oh! (groans)

IAN:
(over phone) Angus!

How can the label release

your new song if

you haven't given it to us?

-ANGUS:
Ian. Ian. Ian, man. Ian.

- We've given you more time...

-IAN:
What?

-It's done.

Then send it now!

ANGUS:
There's a tweaky-tweak

I have to do.

IAN:
You've been tweaking for six months!

Yeah, well, you know, I'd be finished now

if you didn't keep ringing me.

IAN:
I'm ringing you because

you are in very deep trouble, Angus!

-(huffs)

-IAN:
Well, we 're going to stick by you.

- For now.

- Oh, for now?

That sounds like a threat, Ian.

A threat of violence. And murder.

IAN:
Oh, It's a threat!

You're down to three days to turn this in.

Well, I don't need three days, mate--

Well, actually I do.

IAN:
If you don't deliver,

we are dropping you.

And you will soon be eating

out of a dumpster!

Don't you be down on dumpsters.

I grew up in one.

-IAN:
Angus...

- Just-- just chill the fudge cake out.

All right? It's all cool.

I'm gonna hang up on you now. All right?

- Angus! You don't talk to me like that!

- Okay! Gotta do tweaking.

IAN:
You listen to me, don't hang...

(line disconnects)

(exhales deeply)

How am I going to write a song

in three days?

(phone beeping)

Yesterday I had four days,

before that I had five days.

Now I've got three days'?

All right,

you've got to pull yourself together.

Pull yourself together. (muttering)

You are a rock god. I am not a rock god.

Yes, you are a rock god.

Everyone thinks you're a rock god.

So we must rock. We must rock.

(music playing)

ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

put your hands together

for the rock legend you came to see,

- Angus Scattergood!

-(crowd cheering)

(whirring)

(guitar music playing)

(grunting)

(grunts)

(electricity crackles)

(groans)

(whirring, beeps)

(beeping)

Whoa!

(panting)

(grunting)

(beeping)

(screams) Phew!

(laughs)

(mechanical beeping)

(gasps)

(camera whirring)

(gasps)

Oh, boy.

(distant guitar music playing)

(grunts)

(metal clangs)

Let's have some of that champagne then,

Ozzy!

Right.

(tape whirring)

Here we go.

(guitar music playing

on headphones)

Why can't-- Rubbish!

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