Rock Dog Page #4

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Mother... father... (grunting)

(doorbell ringing)

Huh?

(doorbell ringing)

ANGUS:
(over intercom) Stop that!

You're giving me a bloody headache!

Oh, me?

ANGUS:
No, the other monkey

who's pressing the doorbell.

- Yes, you, you big twit!

- Are you Mr. Scattergood?

ANGUS:
No. lam his, uh... but/er.

Mr. Scattergood is indisposed

at the moment.

One quick question, Mr. Butler.

If you could just ask Mr. Scattergood

if he'd be interested

in becoming my music teacher?

See there's this band and they're really--

ANGUS:
Did you say music teacher?

-BODI:
Yes, sir.

-ANGUS:
Is this...

Just hang on a moment.

(Angus laughing in the distance)

We've just got news

through my headpiece here

that Mr. Scattergood

would love nothing more

than to be your music teacher.

(laughs) What? That... That is incredible.

Thank you so much.

Today's my lucky day, Mr. Butler!

-ANGUS:
It must be.

-(Bodi groans)

ANGUS:
But we've got certain conditions,

mate, certain conditions. Uh...

You've got to wipe your feet

before you come in.

You got it.

ANGUS:
Could you wipe them

specifically on the welcome mat?

Otherwise you're just

moving dirt around, mate.

Okay, I'll just...

(screaming)

(groaning)

This must be a test or something, right?

Mr. Scattergood said to never stop!

And nothing will ever make me...

(lightning crackling)

Oh, boy.

Okay, new plan!

I'm gonna stay in this shelter

until the rain passes!

And then we'll talk

about those music lessons!

(mechanical whirring)

BODI:
Whoa!

Whoa! What's happening?

Hey, hey where are we going?

See that, Ozzy?

That was a nutter.

We won't be seeing his like again.

(both grunting)

(laughs)

CROCODILE:
Woo-wee!

Smoked that feller! Who's next?

I like this guy. Put him in the ring

tomorrow with the Grizz.

Huh! No, no, not the Grizz.

Anything but the Grizz.

(sobs) Anything but the Grizz!

You go in there, you don't come out!

I'm gonna meet my gator-maker!

Nice. Thank you.

LINNUX:
(over phone)

So where's the mastiff?

It didn't come together.

LINNUX:
Didn't come together?

What is this, a jigsaw puzzle?

A standard kidnapping

is too much for you two?

Well, we were this close,

but he gave Skozz the slip.

(stammering)

Yeah, that guy's crafty.

Okay, you knuckleheads,

you're going to scour every square inch

of this city. Eyes peeled.

I don't want you to blink

until you find him.

You know what? I'm not blinking already.

(line disconnects)

Hello? Hello? (sighs)

What, you didn't get one for me?

That's messed up, Skozz.

(humming)

(gasps)

(humming)

(humming continues)

(grunts)

(tape scratching)

...what? None of this stuff works!

(continues humming)

(whirring)

(panting, exhales deeply)

Okay.

(guitar music playing outside)

(Bodi muffled) Garbage truck

(gasps)

BODI:
I took a ride

in a garbage truck

(grunts)

(scatting)

Don't listen, don't listen.

-(humming)

-(Bodi singing indistinctly outside)

(huffs)

(exclaims, grunts)

(Bodi singing)

I took a ride in a garbage truck

Shut up that bloody racket!

Oh, I took a ride in a garbage truck

(vocalzing)

(mechanical whirring)

(Bodi humming)

Yeah, I took a ride in it

You know it's true hey hey hey

Did you bloody hear me?

You are doing my nut in!

I was this close to laying down

a completely killer track and you--

Are you Angus Scattergood?

(horn honking)

No, I'm his... gardener.

Oh, my gosh!

I'm actually meeting

Angus Scattergood's... gardener!

- This is so... Sorry.

- Let go of me, you stupid mutt.

Sorry. Could you give Mr. Scattergood

a message from me?

I'll give him a message, all right!

Oh, I will tell

Mr. Scattergood all about you!

But he will never ever

be your music teacher!

You can be sure about that, 'cause you...

- Mr. Gardener

-are an idiot and you make all this...

(screams) The gates are closing!

(electricity crackling)

-(Angus screaming)

-(both gasping)

(grunts)

(doorbell ringing)

(objects clattering)

(thudding)

(glass squeaking)

(groaning)

(blubbering)

Are you all right, Mr. Gardener?

Here, let me help you.

Don't you come near me, you weirdo.

Ozzy!

(music playing on television)

Bring round the golf cart, mate.

I have been zapped by the doodah.

I'm completely paralyzed, Ozzy!

Except for my mouth.

My mouth is where... And my finger.

TOUR GUIDE:
(on PA) And to your right

is the home of rock legend...

- Angus Scattergood!

-(tourists chattering excitedly)

It's him! It's Angus Scattergood!

This is all your fault, you big, daft...

I can walk! I can walk! It's a miracle!

(tourist exclaiming)

(record store crowd exclaiming)

(laughs) Wow, there's a lot of people

back there.

Don't you run with me.

Why are they all chasing us?

Because I...

because I am Angus Scattergood!

Whoa! What?

I knew you were Angus Scattergood!

Hey, what do you think about

maybe becoming my music teacher?

I'm not going to be

your music teacher, mate!

- Will you just think about it?

- Look, when I count to three,

you go off to the right

and I'll carry on in this direction, okay?

- One, two, three.

- Okay.

Can't do it.

- You're still following me, you big twit!

- I'm gonna stick with you.

(panting)

-(tourists exclaiming)

- I'm you're number one fan!

(garbage clattering)

BODI:
I think they're gone.

(gasps)

Got to get the germs off.

Dirt and germs. (grunts)

Ah!

Ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah!

(spitting)

This is a nightmare.

I want to be back at my castle.

With my duvet. I'm cold.

I'm hungry, and I'm...

(swiping)

- Never going to eat pizza again.

- Wow!

Are you sure about that?

Because there's plenty of food in here.

It's really good.

Eating food in a dumpster.

Eating food in a dumpster.

This is what he said would happen.

Isn't life funny?

I mean, here I am with Angus Scattergood.

Yeah, I know I said

I was Angus Scattergood,

but I was just mucking about

with you really 'cause I'm...

(objects clattering)

Mother.

- Why'd they have to use that photo?

- Great picture.

- Nah, I don't...

- Such a cool picture.

I did not sign off on that photo, so...

- Okay, I'm just going to quickly hug you.

- No! Don't you touch me!

I heard you on the magic box

and you changed my life!

(grumbling)

Well, you have quite ruined mine, mate.

So you know what? Just...

Just give us a fiver for a cab,

and we'll call it quits, all right?

Yeah? A fiver? Just...

You lend me five of them.

Five of the one things.

Oh, money? Yeah! No.

No, I know where we can get money, yeah.

Lots of it.

(guitar music playing)

(coin clinking)

Hey, Mr. Scattergood! We made a penny!

Shh! Don't you understand

what "incognito" means?

Um, just a button. Wasn't a penny.

Sorry about that, Mr. Scattergood.

Don't use the name!

Just make me enough for a cab fare,

all right?

BODI:
Sure thing, got it.

(guitar music playing)

(horn honking)

RIFF:
Bingo!

We got him this time.

Come on, Skozz, let's go pull around

the back. Woo-hoo-hoo!

All right, how much

have you made so far?

Just a button.

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