Rock Dog Page #5

---

Just a button?

Yep. One button.

It's a good start, though.

Give me that swamp fiddle thing.

(tunes guitar)

(guitar playing)

Can you give me a bit of space here?

- Oh.

- Just back up a bit.

- How's this?

-ANGUS:
Bit further.

- Okay, how 'bout now?

- Another 20 steps back.

Get in the hedge.

BODI:
I can't see you!

Perfect!

Second time's a charm! (laughs)

-DARMA:
Bodi'?

- Oh, hey, Darma.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I've just been, uh,

hanging out with Mr. Scattergood.

Whoa, whoa! Sorry. Back up.

You've been hanging with rock legend,

Angus Scattergood?

- Uh, yup.

-GERMUR:
Right on.

- Hanging with Angus.

- He was not hanging.

Hangus with Angus.

Really. We've been together all day.

Let's see...

We went jogging.

- Then we had some pizza.

-DARMA:
Right.

-(Angus yelling) ...hey! Come on!

- Then we came here to the park 'cause,

you know, he needs a little money

for a cab.

- Of course.

-ANGUS:
Help me! Help me!

He's right over there.

You guys want to meet him?

Yeah. Yeah, we do.

Yes, that's a great idea.

Let's all just go meet Angus!

- Sweet! We're meeting Angus!

- Don't get your hopes up.

(yelling) Oi! You big twit.

Hey! What's going on...

(yells)

And here he is, Mr.-- Mr. Scattergood?

Woo-wee! We did it! We did it!

He was right here.

I don't know what happened.

I don't know where he went.

- I believe you, dog.

- You do?

I do what? What do I do?

Look, Bodi, you know, you don't have

to make stuff up to impress us.

What? No, no. He was right here.

I gotta find him.

Mr. Scattergood! Where are you?

- Mr. Scattergood! Hey! Where'd you go?

- Oh...

- He's cute.

-BODI:
We wanted to hangus!

Completely delusional, but cute.

(tires screeching)

Boom! Mission accomplished!

Hmm...

(wolves chuckling)

(Linnux laughing)

You got the goods?

- We got the goods.

-(laughing)

(snarling)

You kidnapped

Angus flipping Scattergood?

Angus-- flip-- What? He grabbed the guy!

You didn't even get the right species!

WOLF:
Riff, don't you know

the difference?

LINNUX:
Is it that tough?

(wolves chattering indistinctly)

-WOLF 2:
What do you expect from Riff?

-(whistles)

Shut up! Just shut up!

Who's in charge here? You? Large lad?

I will call you... "Large Lad."

You stupid, bloody idiot,

you know who I am?

You're in a lot of trouble, mate.

And the entire world

is going to be beating down your door

like-- like salmon

trying to go up a-- a stream

when it's mating season.

Not a good analogy. Anyway. Look, just...

(thumps)

You know what?

You two morons just lost your health plan.

And your 401 Ks.

And if you don't bring in that mastiff

by the end of the week,

I'm relocating you to new digs

with bottom-of-the-oceanfront views.

- Am I clear?

- Bottom of the oceanfront, got it.

Now get outta my sight.

Give Mr. Scattergood a ride home.

Ooh! When I get ahold of your kid,

you're not going to know what hit you.

-(indistinct chatter)

- What the...

- I know that was you, Feng!

-FENG:
Sorry.

Ethel, the headpiece goes on last

so you can see what you're doing.

Come on. Guys, we've been through this.

No. I-- I-- I think that's...

I think that's a foreleg you have

on your hind leg there, Steve.

-It's a left.

-STEVE:
This one?

The one... Left.

- No. The other left.

- Oh. This one?

- Oh, my goodness. Hey, Phil. Phil!

-(grunting)

Stop distracting Carl.

He's trying to get dressed.

Wait a minute.

Carl, will you get out of the shower?

-CARL:
But... But I like it in here.

- I don't care, Carl.

-It's time to go to work.

-(gargling)

Come on, you're wasting time.

And water. (grunts)

(groans)

We... Are...

Are you even capable of holding still?

SHEEP 2:
Why isn't Bodi here?

For the nine billionth time,

he went to the city.

-ALL:
What?

- When did this happen?

Do you really not remember?

You gave him a going away party,

for crying out loud.

(sheep group agreeing)

- When's he coming back?

-(groans) Uh...

I wish I knew.

(engine revving)

ANGUS:
on!

(groaning)

You know what kind of a fool you made me

look like back there? Hmm?

We supposed to be a team, Skozz.

We supposed to be a team.

I know you hear me.

I know you hear me sayin' words,

you just trying to ignore me.

And I know you understand what...

You playin' a video game

when I'm trying to...

Gimme that old video game!

(video game beeping)

(horn honking)

(tires screeching)

(both grunting)

(truck beeping)

(both screaming)

- Yeah! Whoo!

- Sweet!

Put your seatbelt on, Skozz!

RIFF:
You can't just be doin'

whatever you want all willy-nilly.

You got to do what I say.

This is my last shot

at getting in good with Linnux.

And you got to help me.

You got anything to say?

(notes playing Off-Key)

(phone ringing)

Ozzy! (exhales deeply)

Take a message, will you?

IAN:
(over phone) Hello?

-Angus?

-No!

Angus!

-Angus!

-(grunts) What?

IAN:
Okay, where is it, Angus?

I need more time, Ian.

I just-- I need-- I was just kidnapped.

- You were not.

- I was!

- They hoovered me over a wall.

-IAN:
Really?

They hit me with bats!

Not flying bats, but the...

IAN:
Oh, will you quit making

lame excuses and just get the song to us?

These are some of the best excuses

I've ever had!

- Just don't... Don't make me beg.

-IAN:
I'm not making you beg.

- Give me a bit more time...

- We already have.

- Just a little bit more time...

- Tomorrow, 6:
00 p.m. sharp! Bye.

No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No!

(notes playing off-key)

(singing in a distance)

I'm so stuck in this garbage truck

That I can't even get myself out

ANGUS:
Oh...

That... is not... actually awful.

It's...

Okay-ish.

I'm so stuck in this garbage truck

ANGUS:
That is...

I'm so stuck I want to get out

Singing...

ANGUS:
Rather catchy.

(vocalizing)

(laughs) Hey! Hey! Mr. Scattergood!

Yeah, it's me! Where ya been?

- Whoo-hoo-hoo! (grunts)

-ANGUS:
Welcome.

Welcome, welcome.

- Uh, Bo... Bodee? Bohdee?

- Bodi, yes!

- Bodi!

- I can't believe you remember my name.

(laughs) I can't either, mate.

Now, what was it you were after?

- Music lessons, yeah?

- Yes.

Come. Come on in, mate.

Don't step on the welcome mat.

And don't touch the door,

it's electrified.

- This is Ozzy.

- Wow!

- Yeah, just... Wait.

- Oh, wow!

Just leave the robot alone for the moment.

Hello, Ozzy! My name is Bodi!

That's it... That's it, mate.

So, music lessons?

BODI:
Wow!

Boy, I've... I've never seen

anything like this.

My... My whole village could fit in here.

ANGUS:
Yeah, yeah, it could, mate. Yeah.

What's that?

That's my old tour bus.

I've been to the moon

and back in that thing.

And here is... Here is the library...

BODI:
Whoa!

- Yeah.

- Mr. Scattergood.

Indeedyweedy, mate.

You want to be a rock musician?

You've got to have the proper ax.

Just go ahead, pick one. Any one.

Oh!

(etherial music)

Wait!

Don't-- Don't touch.

You see, that is a Scattercaster, you see?

Only one in the entire universe.

Crafted by Celtish people

from the timbers of a Viking ship

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes