RocknRolla Page #9

Anyone I know?

Anyone famous?

Handsome Bob.

Mumbles, One Two.

I bet you could operate

a nice gas shower.

I could see you

with a couple of S's on your collar.

- Stiff goose in your step.

- Shut it, or you will get hurt.

That, Roman and Mickey,

is the famous Archy slap.

You shut it.

Or I'll do you myself,

you poisonous little toad.

Don't hurt me, Arch. I'm only little.

Get out.

- Roll them out.

- Daddy.

Nice wheels.

Sorry about the painting.

I needed the cash

for a bit of the old dusty show biz.

So it's gone now.

Lost to the world

of degenerate, stoned no-hopers.

Never to be seen again

by the eye of a clean soul.

What are you, boy, if you are not poison?

Your dad couldn't even bear

to look at you.

So no wonder he f***ed off

and left me to pick up the pieces.

But that wasn't enough for you.

You had to push your mom

into a bottle of pills...

...and a house full of nutters.

And all she got there

was a hot bath and a cold razor.

Why?

Because you're poison, John, that's why.

What can I say?

I'm a junkie, crackhead, no-gooder.

You should never have wasted

your money on that school.

Archy, get him out of here.

I've had enough of him.

I don't trust myself. Use someone else.

It's a gathering. I love a gathering.

Look. It's Mumbles, One Two.

Handsome Bob, all the old faces today.

And it was all going so well.

Except for Archy.

Had to ruin the day.

I was gonna tell him

a story about you, Daddy.

I thought I'd tell him the story

about how you grassed him up.

Whoa, f***!

F***ing hell, Len. Calm down.

Now, give us that.

That wasn't one of your best shots,

was it now, Daddy?

If you wanted to shut me up,

it should've been higher.

- Danny, come here.

You're only 6 feet away.

Come here.

You get rid of him, Danny,

you understand?

Get rid of him.

You don't know

how much trouble you've caused...

...but please understand

that I will kill you very slowly...

...if you don't tell me where my...

Hey, Archy.

The address is in my jacket.

I wouldn't mess you around, Archy,

it's in my jacket.

What does it say?

You want to know what it says, Len?

Funny thing about the law,

it can be quite flexible.

Because every time an informer...

...finds himself in front of a judge,

a secret letter...

- stands witness

as to the cooperation and efficiency...

- of that informer.

And if that informer

provides adequate information...

...then that dog of dogs

is magically released.

A sort of get-out-of-jail-free card.

And it comes with a very good alibi.

Now, you give us the names

of the people you want put down...

...and we'll get them the long sentences.

You can appear to reduce those terms

through your contacts.

We'll make you look like a f***ing

guardian angel to the underworld.

Trusted throughout.

The only evidence

that will ever remain of this deal...

...comes in the form

of a very exclusive...

...and hard-to-come-by legal document

called a secret dept.

As in deposition or handlers sheet.

Of course, the informer

always uses a false name.

What name do you like?

- Johnny?

- Tommy?

You can have

Elvis f***ing Presley if you fancy.

But I've seen this name

many times over the last 20 years.

And I always wondered...

Who is this Sidney Shaw, Len?

Nothing to do with you.

What name do you like the sound of?

I like Sidney.

I like the sound of that.

Sidney Shaw. Sounds a bit like an actor.

You're free to go, Mr. Sidney Shaw.

No, they're setting me up, Archy.

You are a very dirty bastard, Sidney.

You are a very dirty bastard indeed.

Cut that lot free,

get them out of here now.

No need to worry just yet, fellas.

Nothing's gonna happen

while we're standing in the lift.

They'd have to carry

the corpses over to the cars...

...and that's too much like hard work.

In about two minutes from now,

when we're all walking along happily...

...Danny boy over there is gonna turn

and pop me two in the head.

Then one in the throat just to be sure.

You shouldn't have

brought me here, fellas.

You're just gonna end up as witnesses.

Once they've "dealt" with us...

...they're gonna put our corpses

in the boot of a stolen car...

...and pour 6 gallons of petrol on top.

I can let your imagination fill in the rest.

But see now, Danny boy is rattled.

Because he knows that you know.

So he's gonna fire.

Mickey, pass me the gun.

Quickly. Quickly, Mickey.

Don't worry, he can't defend himself,

he's got no head.

May I please have some help, fellas?

Put your f***ing hands up.

I think we should get out of here,

don't you, John?

Make the deal, come on.

Turn them in. It's not like

the first time you done it, is it?

Michael Finny, 10 years.

Fred the Head.

- Fred the Head.

Give him a five,

for a bank job he's about to pull.

Here's the time and here's the place.

Frazier Nash, 15 years.

One Two, just a two-stretch

to calm the flash f***er down.

Cousin Ronnie got six years

because of you, you bastard.

Mumbles thinks he's a clever boy,

so give him a three.

Byron Dexter, eight years.

The Jew twins, 14 years.

The Jew twins, 14 years.

Archy, he's as loyal as a dog,

but he's getting a bit greedy. Four years.

Four years for Archy.

And of course me, Archy,

four long f***ing years.

There is no spring without a winter.

No life without death.

And the demise of Lenny

has blown a new season...

...into the lungs of young Johnny.

Goodbye, Mr. Sidney Shaw.

Well, it looks like that clinic

sorted you right out, Johnny boy.

You feeling better?

Well, I was. Until I saw youse twos.

I'm clean now. Straight, I gave it all up.

All but these little bastards.

Come on, give us a cuddle.

Welcome home.

- Give us your money, Arch.

- No, I can do better than that.

Turbo, show him

his welcome-home present.

What, you got me another coffin?

Goodbye, cruel world.

Now, I know how much you like the art, I

thought that would look good on your wall.

Someone's been telling you stories, Arch.

Now, that must've been expensive.

As it happens, it did cost

a very wealthy Russian an arm and a leg.

I see your music's back in the charts.

Well, that was when I was a RocknRolla.

Why, what you gonna be now, John?

You wanna watch out...

...because I'm gonna be

just like you, uncle.

Now I'm gonna be a real RocknRolla.

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