Rocky Balboa Page #3

You get through that,

you find the only kind of respect...

...that matters in this damn world:

Self-respect.

Thanks, Martin. I appreciate that.

Now, what can the champ

do for you?

You can give me

some of that money you got.

- You know, I like you, Martin.

- But not that much.

Exactly.

How about a picture with the kid?

All right?

Sure.

Here, son, hold up your fist.

Makes you look more hazardous.

- There you go.

- Thanks, Rock.

Enjoy your meal.

- He's a nice guy, isn't he?

- Rocky?

- Yeah.

- Spider just went downstairs.

- I don't know if that's all right.

- What's he doing?

I don't know. That's your friend.

Yo, Spider!

- Let me do some dishes. I feel better.

- Come on. You're my guest.

- Let me do something.

- Keep eating. Guests do that.

Don't make me fight you again.

Last time you got lucky.

Lucky? Okay.

Jesus wants me to work.

- Yo, Rocky.

- Yeah?

You've got guests.

Don't get too wet, okay?

Glad Jesus didn't ask you to cook.

You kept the card.

Yeah, I kept the card.

- Why don't you sit down?

- Yeah, sure.

Because, you know what, I walk in

there, I say good morning, I do this:

Tonight, boxing once again.

Two contrasting styles

in almost every way.

Hey, can you turn this up?

Turn this up, please.

Who was the best of all time?

If two athletes from different eras...

... could compete against one another,

who would come out on top?

Given the same rules, using the same

equipment, who was the greatest?

We feed our facts

into the computer.

They weigh in on who they

think will reign supreme...

... while fielding the comments of our

illustrious panel of sportswriters.

Champ!

- Yo, champ!

- Yeah?

Come check out this trash

they're talking about you, man!

- What you talking about?

- Come check this out. Hurry up.

Tonight, the former two-time

heavyweight champion...

... from Philadelphia, Rocky Balboa.

All right, Chuck Johnson,

USA Today?

There's no question that

Rocky Balboa fought tougher fights...

... during a tougher era in boxing.

You look at Mason Dixon

in his career...

... he's basically been

spoon-fed his opponents.

No question in my mind.

Not only does Rocky win...

... but he wins knockout.

Rocky!

Offspring.

Bernard Fernandez?

Dixon is a victim

of his own dominance.

He's never been in

real knockdown-dragout brawls.

He never had to dig down

to rally back.

If he tries to dig down

against Balboa...

... he'll find he doesn't have

a big enough shovel.

I clearly give it to Balboa.

What happened to you?

What happened to you?

Boxing historian

Burt Randolph Sugar.

Dixon has fought cream puffs.

We don't know what he's made of.

But both in their primes,

you gotta factor in...

... Dixon's unbelievable speed...

... his slashing offense.

He cuts Balboa to bits.

No doubt. Dixon wins all the way.

Here's where our subjectivity ends.

Let's see what the computer says.

Dixon unloads on Balboa. Rocky has

no answer. Balboa is eating jabs.

- What time is it?

- Mason time.

- What time is it?

- Mason time.

- What time is it?

- Mason time.

Now Dixon is done. He is reeling.

He is almost out on his feet!

Balboa turning up the heat.

Pounds him across the ring.

Boy, he's bit off more than he

can chew this time. Believe it.

Oh, a murderous right hook!

And Dixon is out on his feet.

He is out cold as he

crumbles to the canvas.

And it is Balboa who has won... .

Ladies and gentlemen, Baby Rocky.

Baby Rocky.

I'm glad you liked the food. If you heat

that up, it's pretty good in the morning.

Yeah, thanks, man.

Nice kid. I hope this music ain't giving

you a headache. I like this old stuff.

No, I like it. It's nice.

Well, good. Good.

Yo, you think Steps wants a job?

Make a few bucks on the weekend?

It's good making your own G's. My kid

stashed a few bucks doing that.

Why are you being so nice?

I don't want you to think

nothing's off, you know.

My wife, she's gone, but she ain't.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, well, I wasn't thinking that.

Believe me.

- No? Then what was you thinking?

- No.

That you don't owe us nothing.

What are you doing?

Be patient.

Now...

...I don't owe you nothing,

but why do you gotta...

...owe something to get--?

Bingo.

Why do you gotta owe something

to get something, you know? Really.

I think hanging out with your kid

would be nice. What do you think?

I think that'd be nice.

Good. That's very nice.

I'm glad you come by.

It was nice watching you eat.

Good company.

Yo, Little Marie. Let there be light!

- You like dogs?

- Dogs?

Dogs. This is like a dog pound.

It's where they keep...

...a large variety of dogs. I used to

come here all the time for sightseeing.

But, you know,

you learn a lot talking to dogs.

- Really, you do.

- Yeah, man. So... .

Hey, man, how about this one?

He don't look too friendly, my friend.

Man, this is the one.

Hey, boy, how you doing?

Hey, what about this one here?

Come here, boy.

- Who, him?

- Yeah, why not?

Hell, no. That is one ugly dog, man.

I know, but it's kind of a cute ugly.

If you look at it closely, the color...

...it looks like old furniture, like some

kind of pirate-chest thing going on.

Yeah, sure, man.

Hey, so how about a young one?

Steps, forget him. Come over here.

I want you to see something.

Now, you notice what this animal

is doing here? Lying in that position?

He ain't doing nothing.

No, he's doing a lot.

He ain't wasting no energy.

Because he's dead.

He ain't dead. There's a lot of

good mileage left on that animal.

Good food, the addition of a couple

of new friends, bingo, he's back.

- What do you think is a good name?

- It's your dog. You name him.

No. It's, like,

a community animal. Fifty-fifty.

Look, I don't know much

about no dogs.

Well, it ain't that complicated.

You pet him, you feed him,

and nature takes its course.

You know, so... .

Don't you wanna name an animal?

Every guy should at one time

try to name an animal something.

I don't know. Fleabag?

It's catchy. It ain't original,

but it's pretty good.

I think you could come up with,

in your young brain...

...something better to throw out

than Fleabag.

Punchy. How's that?

- Punchy?

- Yeah, Punchy.

- I like it, you know.

- For real?

Yeah, for real. Punchy it is. It's easy to

remember, it's not that hard to spell.

And once it's in your brain, you never

forget it. Punchy. Very good.

- All right, man.

- Good call.

All right, Punchy. You ready

to get bailed out, my friend?

Okay.

Hey, you know

it was a joke, don't you?

Yeah, I know.

You're a very funny guy.

Rocky?

The fans let him know

how they feel about it.

- Excuse me.

- Sure.

This could get ugly.

- Rock.

- Yo, Paulie.

They're gonna be talking about

that fake Looney Tune fight.

Hey, come on. We're about

to serve today's special.

Italian food cooked up by a bunch

of Mexicans ain't so special.

Hey, yo.

Hey, I skipped work for this.

What an ugly dog.

It's a cute dog.

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