Roma

- He's written from America.

- What's he say?

They eat everything

out of cans over there.

The first image of Rome

was a centuries-old stone...

rising out of the fields

just outside my hometown.

Later on, at school, we were told

other interesting things about Rome.

This is the Rubicon...

the river Julius Caesar crossed,

saying, "Alea iacta est!"

- Take off your shoes, children.

- Take off your shoes...

and we'll cross

the river together.

Alea iacta est!

- To Rome.

- To Rome!

"Now we've got another meanie

by the name of Mussolini.

Julius Caesar took a chance

and led his army into France.

In those days the French were Gauls

and Caesar a man with balls. "

Bring me then Metellus Cimbers's

petition and I shall examine it.

And now, hands,

speak for me.

You too, Brutus.

My son.

Julius Caesar.

Sir, if I may say so,

last night you had us all in tears.

It was a real

artistic performance.

Eternal gratitude

to our humble webfooted friends.

To our humble webfooted friends

with their excited quacking.

It is always that one, sir.

Always the same one.

Woke the soldiers who picked up

their weapons and saved Rome.

And you can hear their descendants

quacking right outside the window.

Careful, now. Careful.

Return to your seats.

I won't tolerate any disorder.

Stop it.

You are not out in the streets now.

You're in school!

Barbetti! Stacchiotti! Barilazzi!

I'll beat you to death, by God!

In "saecula saeculorum," amen.

On your feet.

Rings.

Napkins.

Dismissed.

Silence. Order.

Order and silence.

The bronze she-wolf

at the Capitol.

Santa Maria Maggiore,

one of the four Roman basilicas.

The tomb of Cecilia Metella

on the Appia Antica.

The Arch of Constantine.

The altar of the fatherland.

St. Peter's,

Holy Mother Church's greatest temple.

Turn it off!

Turn on the lights, somebody!

The lights!

Don't look, children.

Close your eyes. It's the devil.

Whoever looks will go to hell.

Keep your eyes closed.

- It's the devil! The devil!

- Good Lord! On your feet!

But church bells

are the voice of God.

We should turn

on the radio, signora.

- There's a blessing from the Pope.

-Just bring the soup here, you idiot!

- Stay where you are!

- But, Severino, it's a papal blessing.

So put it on the salad!

- Shame on you. You'll go to hell.

- Stay where you are.

On your knees. Don't pay attention

to your good-for-nothing father.

Drop dead, you old bat!

For heaven's sake, folks, there's

no need to push. We've got enough seats.

Three adults, two children

and one maid. What?

Full price for a maid?

Well, I'll be damned.

Shut up!

Adele, keep an eye on that kid.

Carmela, the baby!

Hang on to my coat and follow me.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Besides, there's three shows today.

Come back later.

May the gods smile upon you,

Pompeo.

I have come

to bid you farewell.

With what adventures,

Priscilla the Christian?

I have a generous nature.

But vengeance is a temptress.

- Be on your guard, both of you.

-And yet, I love her.

No, no, have mercy!

I beg you, mercy!

Let me go!

There are some seats. Hurry! Adele!

Leonina! You sit over there.

- My wife's purse was on that seat.

- Purses don't count.

Carmela, the baby!

Sir, you are an ill-mannered boor,

that's what you are.

And you don't seem to realize who I am.

I'm the school principal, that's who.

The principal, understand?

Rome.:
the parade of October 28

was in an atmosphere of enthusiasm.

The entire city was there to greet

our leader and proclaim its faith...

in the glorious and indomitable

destiny of the imperial fatherland.

His Excellency S. De Carolis

took part in thejump through the hoop.

What a man.

Sons of the she-wolf flocked

to the beaches of Rome where Italians...

and their automobiles paraded

to the songs of the revolution...

followed by a box lunch

which included bread...

famous national cheeses

and piping red tea.

Florence.:
the magnificent

stone walls of the Pitti Palace...

seem to smile beneath

the warm, spring sunshine.

This lady was the wife

of the local druggist.

Everyone said

she was worse than Messalina.

And no need to play with yourself.

That's what's nice about Rome.

It's big and nobody knows you.

You are free to come and go.

What about the Roman women?

What are they like?

The Roman women?

They've got an ass as wide as that.

Quit f***ing around

and get out of my way.

Don't worry. I'm going.

Get your lottery tickets here.

- Hey, kid, need a lighter?

- No, thanks. I've already got one.

I'll give you, as a present,

a bolt of first-class English wool.

- Got a place to sleep tonight?

- In Via Albalonga.

I have a room with your own entrance

and a cute little French girl.

No.

Hotel Dragoni.

Hotel Dragoni!

Veal at four lire a pound.

What's this world coming to?

There's only two things

you can be sure of.

That's right.

Death and taxes.

- I'm looking for the Palletta family.

- Fourth floor.

The elevator's broken.

David, I'm gonna beat

the hell outta you.

There, stupid!

You always do it wrong.

Where can I find

the Palletta family?

Thank you.

He says to me, "You kidding me

or are you really stupid?"

"What do you mean?"

And he says, "Aw, come on. You must

be kidding. " I say, "What do you mean?"

- So?

- What do you mean, so?

The solemn military and religious rites

at the tomb of the unknown.

I'm gonna throw the cat

out the window!

His Excellency Count Racobelli

attended and Mons. Troisi Ragusa...

was there to represent

the Holy Sea.

Hey! Listen.

Ciao. Is your mother home?

Hello?

Anybody home?

Signora?

Antonietta! I did it!

Stay there a minute.

I'm coming.

- There's someone at the door.

- I did it! I did it!

Signora,

that young man is here...

the one whose mother wrote you

from up north.

Shall I let him in?

- How do you do?

- I was making pasta. Let me help you.

- Come in. Come in, please.

- Thanks.

The signora's not feeling very well.

Come on. This way.

One of her ovaries

is inflamed.

We'll just set it down here, all right?

Come on. I'll show you the house.

Come in, come in.

I hope you don't mind children, 'cause

there's a lot of them living here.

This is the dining room.

Florentine furniture. Nice, huh?

- That's the signora's eldest son.

- Who is it?

He's gonna work as a clerk.

- Why did you have to go to the beach?

- How do you do?

- Why shouldn't I have gone?

- Did you have to go at noon?

When, then?

My poor baby.

A bad sunburn, huh?

Do you have a fever?

I think so, yeah.

- Nice shirt you got there.

- Thank you.

You afraid of Chinamen? He is one

and he's even got kitchen privileges.

My God, it stinks in here. Why don't

you open the window when you cook?

Bucatini matriciana sauce.

You like eat?

- No, thank you.

- Very good. Delicious.

Let me out of here

before I throw up.

Bucatini matriciana.

Yeah, for pigs.

Signora,

shall I show him the kitchen?

Yes, honey,

show him the kitchen.

Oh, my God! What have I done

to deserve such suffering?

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