Roma Page #2

The kitchen's this way.

- After you.

- No, please, after you.

Antonietta, I did it!

I did it! I did it!

All right, so you did it.

You don't have to broadcast it.

Just a moment.

- Ciao.

- Good afternoon.

- What did you bring me?

- Nothing, yet. What do you want?

How about you?

You think there'll be a war?

- Wanna see the little granny?

- Sure. That's why I came.

Follow me.

She's littler than us kids.

Little granny!

Look who's here!

- Bless you.

- Thank you, and same to you.

Bet your granny's not that little.

Bet your granny's not that little.

- What's this?

- This is my room.

I haven't tidied up yet.

- It's nice and sunny.

- Will you put down those scissors!

Good afternoon.

Landi's the name. Marco Landi.

- Remember me?

- I think so.

I made my debut with Camerini and I

worked a lot with Gennaro Righelli.

I play the part of the bon vivant.

- I was the butler in "Heartthrob. "

- Yes, of course.

- But you're much too young to remember.

- No, I do. I really do.

By the way, you're a reporter,

aren't you?

- I could give you an interview.

- Sure, except I'm not working yet.

My friends, we have a newspaper

reporter among us.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- I presume you will be staying here.

- Enjoy your meal.

I refuse to believe that the people

of Great Britain, always friends...

feel it their duty to lead Europe

into a catastrophe...

by defending an African nation.

The resemblance is frightening.

Universally branded and without the

shadow of any kind of civilization...

against this nation of heroes,

artists, poets, saints, navigators.

What do you want, Ma?

Send the young man in here.

I want to have a look.

- Antonietta, she wants to see him.

- All right, miss.

Shall I take him?

If the Mediterranean

is a shortcut for England...

and a permanent zone for Russia,

for us Italians it is like itself.

Keep still for a minute

or you'll knock me over. May I come in?

- May I come in?

- Yes, and bring him with you.

You're so young

and distinguished-looking too.

You'll like it here.

I'm sure your mother wrote me,

you know. Poor woman.

- Did you show him the house?

- Of course, and he liked it too.

Good. You look like a nice boy.

That's all. You can go now.

One more thing

before I forget.

Look me in the eyes, boy. There's

to be no fooling around in this house.

We're churchgoing people. We respect

others and want respect in return.

I wouldn't come to your house

and do anything dirty.

So let's live in peace

and not bust each other's balls.

Ma, I don't want to eat today.

Aren't you hungry, baby?

I want to lie next to you, Mama.

My God,

why couldn't you stay home?

We brought two chickens with us.

You want me to throw you in the oven?

And then we want

to eat at Ostia.

Hey! Sit down with us.

Marcello, give him a chair.

You're family now.

- I'll put him with these friends, okay?

- Was it good?

That's short pasta.

No, you don't.

I'll put the baby here.

Go on. Sit down.

You know the saying:

"The devil takes whoever eats alone. "

Bucatini matriciana, cannolicchi

cheese and pepper, penne in hot sauce.

- Have the penne in hot sauce.

- Let me make up my own mind.

- What do you think?

- Take my advice. Cheese and pepper.

Cheese and pepper sauce. I already

had it for lunch. What else is there?

How about rigatoni

in anchovy sauce?

All right, spit out that gum. You're

gonna eat now. And you keep still.

Fettuccine with chicken giblets,

and then there's our specialties:

- Kidneys, tripe, snails, veal.

- Maybe the schiaffoni?

I may try them. Give me

a small portion because I had trouble...

- with my stomach all night long.

- Mama made pajata in the kitchen.

- Take my advice. Have the pajata.

- What's that, pajata?

It's calf gut filled with milk.

Remo, don't forget

this young gentleman.

Here, eat some of these.

They're not snails. They're pigeons.

- Giggetto, where are the bananas?

- Sorry. We're all out. Only got one.

- Then give me that one.

- You think I am crazy?

- Who's that, Lallo's daughter?

- Whose do you think, the priest's?

She that big already? Isn't she cute?

Can't tell her face from her behind.

I dreamt about poor Aunt Judy last night

and asked her a winning number.

Then she fried this broccoli with

a mint leaf. You should have tasted it.

You know what they say:

"The more you eat, the more you sh*t. "

I told you not to let him eat any tripe.

He's had a fever since then.

All right, then give him

a couple of snails.

- But it almost killed him.

- Then I guess it'll kill me too.

Give her something to drink

so she'll shut her trap.

- Cheers!

- Go on. Drink up.

Hey, Verna! Verna!

Come on down!

Will you forget about it

and get down here?

Come here before I beat

the hell out of you. Come on.

Tell your sister to get down here

before I throw her off that balcony.

Talk about a small portion.

This plate's practically empty.

They're out of this world,

Mrs. Rossi.

- Here, kid. Enjoy your meal, folks.

- Thanks.

- Bon appetit.

- Thank you. Say thank you.

Slowly. Don't eat so fast

or you'll choke to death.

Nobody's going

to steal your plate.

Something's been sitting on my stomach

since yesterday morning.

Tell me something.

You like soccer?

Silvano! Silvano! Here she is!

I brought her down.

Finally.

Here she is, everybody.

"Verna the Sulker" has arrived.

What...

Now what's the matter?

- Come on. Let's make up. Come on.

-Just leave me in peace.

Open that sweet little mouth of yours.

Come on. Open it.

- You silly, stupid sh*t.

- You're the stupid sh*t.

- Not me. You. That's who.

- You are both stupid shits.

Too much mint leaf

in the snails, Rosa.

- Is that so?

- And not enough peppers.

Taste these, one of

our most popular specialties.

I'll show you how.

Watch carefully.

Here we are.

Ah, that is good.

One bite of these and you're up

like a shot. Ask your girlfriend.

I never eat snails in restaurants.

Only when I cook them myself

because I soak them for four days first.

You can suck them clean.

Not those.

In Rome we say, "No matter what you eat,

it all turns to sh*t. "

And what you eat tastes like sh*t.

Excuse me.

Mary had a little sheep

with the sheep she went to sleep

The sheep turned out to be a ram

Mary had a little lamb

Where'd she learn those?

Will you listen to that.

Some mother you are,

teaching her that stuff.

You taught her, not me.

What do you mean me?

I didn't teach her nothing.

Pinocchio's nose was long

as long as Pinocchio's dong

Maestro, give me a "la. "

Sing this one with me.

All right, all right, I'm coming.

Torquato, bring this guy a drink.

- Cough up some money for the orphans.

- We gave last year.

Give me that. I'll serve them.

How about this, huh?

And you better eat it all.

We don't believe in leftovers.

Look at that.

Will you keep still!

What about the Rome of today?

What impression does it make on the

visitor arriving for the first time?

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