Roman Holiday Page #2

Is this the elevator?

It's my room.

I'm terribly sorry|to mention it, but...

the dizziness is getting worse.

Can I sleep here?

Well, that's the general idea.

Can I have a silk nightgown|with rosebuds on it?

I'm afraid you'll have to|rough it tonight...

in these.

Pajamas.

Sorry, honey, but I haven't|worn a nightgown in years.

Will you help me|get undressed, please?

Okay.

There you are.|You can handle the rest.

May I have some?

No.

Now, look...

This is very unusual.

I've never been alone|with a man before...

even with my dress on.

With my dress off,|it's most unusual.

I don't seem to mind.

Do you?

I think I'll go out|for a cup of coffee.

You'd better get to sleep.

On this one.

Terribly nice.

These are pajamas.

They're to sleep in.|You're to climb into them.

- You understand?|- Thank you.

Then you do your sleeping|on the couch, not on the bed.

Not on the chair.|On the couch. Is that clear?

- Do you know my favorite poem?|- You already recited that for me.

"Arethusa arose|from her couch of snows...

in the Acroceraunian Mountains."

- Keats.|- Shelley.

You just keep your mind off the poetry|and on the pajamas.

Everything will be all right.

- Keats.|- Shelley. I'll be back in ten minutes.

Keats.

You have my permission...

to withdraw.

Thank you very much.

- Well?|- No trace, Your Excellency.

- Have you searched the grounds?|- From the attics to the cellar, sir.

I must put you on your honor|not to speak of this to anyone.

I must remind you that the princess|is the direct heir to the throne.

This must be classified|as top crisis secret.

Have I your pledge?

- Yes, sir.|- Very well.

Now we must notify|Their Majesties.

So happy.

The pleasure's mine.

Screwball.

Holy smoke.|The princess interview.

Hi, Joe.

- Good morning, Joe.|- Hello, honey.

Mr. Hennessy|has been looking for you.

Uh-oh.

Thanks a lot, hon.

Come in!

- You been looking for me?|- Just coming to work?

Who, me?

We start our days at 8:30|in this office.

- We pick up our assignments...|- I picked mine up last night.

- What assignment was that?|- The princess, 11:45.

You've already been|to the interview?

Sure.|I just got back.

Well, well, well.

All my apologies.

- It's all right.|- Very interesting.

- Just routine.|- She answered the questions on the list?

Well, of course she did.

- I've got them right here somewhere.|- Don't disturb yourself.

I have a copy here.

How did Her Highness react to the idea|of a European federation?

She thought it was just fine.

She did?

Well, she thought|there would be two effects.

Two.

The direct and the indirect.

Remarkable.

Naturally, she thought that|the indirect would not be as direct...

as the direct.

At least not right away.

Later on, of course,|well, nobody knows.

Well, well, well.

That was a shrewd observation.

They fool you, these royal kids.

They've got a lot more on the ball|than we suspect.

How did she feel about|the future friendship of nations?

Youth.

She felt that|the youth of the world...

must... lead the way...

to a better...

world.

Original.

By the way,|what was she wearing?

Oh, you mean|what did she have on?

Well, that's usually|what it means.

What's the matter?|Little warm for you?

No, I just hurried over here.

Naturally, with a story|of these dimensions.

Did you say|she was wearing gray?

- No, I didn't say that.|- Well, she usually wears gray.

Oh. Well, it was|a kind of a gray.

I think I know the dress you mean.|It has a gold collar.

That's the one. I didn't know exactly|how to describe it, but that's it.

I think you described it|very well...

in view of the fact that Her Highness|was taken violently ill at 3:00 a.m. ...

put to bed with a high fever...

and has had all her appointments|for today cancelled in toto!

In toto?

Yes, Mr. Bradley.

In toto.

That's certainly|pretty hard to swallow.

In view of the fact|that you just left her, of course.

But here it is, all over the front page|of every newspaper in Rome.

All right, all right, I overslept.|It could happen to anybody.

If you ever got up early enough|to read a morning paper...

you might discover|little news events...

little items|of general interest...

that might prevent you in the future|from getting immersed...

in such a gold-plated, triple-decked,|star-spangled lie as you just told me.

If I were you, I'd try some other line|of business, like mattress testing.

Is this the princess?

Yes, Mr. Bradley,|that is the princess.

It isn't Annie Oakley, Dorothy Lamour|or Madame Chiang Kai-shek.

Take a good look at her. You might be|interviewing her again someday.

Am I fired?

No, you're not fired.

When I want to fire you,|you won't have to ask.

You'll know you're fired.

The man's mad.

Giovanni, it's Joe Bradley.

Now listen carefully.

I want you to hurry up to my place and|see if there's somebody there asleep.

"S", Mr. Joe.

I look... "subito".

You wait... "aspetta".

Mr. Joe?

Yeah... Yeah, yeah.|Tell me, tell me.

Giovanni, I love you.|Now, listen...

Yes, Mr. Joe.

A gun?

No!

Yes, a gun, a knife, anything!

But nobody goes in,|and nobody goes out.

Okay.

You still here?

How much would a real interview|with this dame be worth?

You mean Her Highness?

I don't mean Annie Oakley,|Dorothy Lamour or Madame... How much?

What do you care?|You got as much chance...

I know, but if I did,|how much would it be worth?

Oh, just a plain talk on|world conditions might be worth 250.

Her views on clothes, of course, would|be worth a lot more. Maybe a thousand.

- Dollars?|- Dollars.

I'm talking about her views|on everything.

The private and secret longings...

of a princess.

Her innermost thoughts, as revealed|to your Rome correspondent...

in a private, personal...

exclusive...

interview.

Can't use it, huh?

I didn't think you'd like it.

Come here.

Love angle too, I suppose.

Practically all love angle.

With pictures.

Could be. How much?

That particular story would be worth|five grand to any news service.

But tell me, Mr. Bradley,|if you are sober...

just how you are going to obtain|this fantastic interview.

I plan to enter her sick room|disguised as a thermometer.

You said five grand?|I want you to shake on that.

You realize Her Highness is in bed today|and leaves for Athens tomorrow.

I'd like to make|a little side bet with you.

Five hundred says|you don't come up with the story.

- What are you looking at that for?|- I just want to see what time it is.

What day it is.

- It's a deal.|- Now I'd like you to shake.

You're into me|for about 500 now.

When you lose this bet,|you'll owe me a thousand.

Why, you poor sucker.|I'll practically own you.

You have practically owned me for|a couple of years, but that's all over.

I'm gonna win that money, and I'm gonna|buy a one-way ticket back to New York.

Go on.|I love to hear you whine.

And when I'm back in a real newsroom,|I'll enjoy thinking about you...

sitting here with an empty leash in|your hands and nobody to twitch for you.

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