Romance and Cigarettes Page #2

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Wait, I'm coming up. Wait!

I'm not the type of guy

who goes up to a woman

says, "You want to go out with me? "

and then takes his dick out.

That's not my style. I'm no beast.

What?

I'd like to f*** a woman tennis player.

You know, with the outfit on.

And a tennis ball stuck in her panties.

Know what I heard?

Tony Curtis almost lost his sex life.

Back in '44 he's on a Navy sub.

A winch falls off

hits him in the base of the spine. Right?

Tony was paralysed.

He was laying there, just, he was praying.

Tony started praying that his private

parts would not be dead.

And about a week later

he starts to feel a tingling.

Tony f***ing Curtis.

What am I gonna do?

Oh, you've got it bad, Nick.

I told you. I warned you.

Chicks smell a boner 10 miles away.

I'd be better off a fag.

Those guys are in shape.

Randolph Scott was a fag.

Not Randolph Scott?

Yeah, him and Cary Grant.

Get out of here. Not in a million years.

The list is long.

There's a lot of great fags.

Coming up. All right?

And she's a redhead.

Au naturel?

The whole megillah.

It's rare. They feel more.

That's scientifically proven.

- What?

- You take a natural red versus a brunette.

Right? And you prod them both

with a jolt of electric shock, mild.

The carrot-top's gonna need

To numb the pain?

Pain, pleasure, it's all nerve-related.

The point is, they feel more.

Nice as she is, red as her bush is

fuckable as she is

you gotta put the fire out, my friend.

Attend to it.

Stamp out that Benson & Hedges b*tch

once and for all.

All right, you b*tch in heat

you're going down!

Come down from there right now!

Oh, my God! She's hot!

- I might need some for...

- No, but you don't.

Get them when you really need them.

- Sometimes I need

- Take one.

- ...to have some in the house.

- Take one.

Choose one you're gonna keep.

Put the other ones back.

All right. One card. I'm gonna get a card.

I'm gonna choose one.

- Go ahead. Put the other ones back.

- How the hell are you?

- Grace.

- What's the matter?

I had diarrhoea yesterday, Grace.

I was in the bathroom when you knocked

on the door. Bad.

You've been wronged. I feel it.

You don't have to tell me anything.

I have never met one man who was faithful.

- You've only been with one man, Grace.

- Till death do us part.

Did you ever feel that you wanted to

squeeze a kitten until the head pops off?

All right, put this back. That's enough.

He was a beautiful man, my Chester.

A real Southern gentleman.

Quiet. Dark. Graceful.

I still love him with every fibre.

That was 20 years ago, Grace.

Look, don't touch!

Don't touch!

- You want to buy it or not? You buy it.

- I don't want to buy it. I just...

It's good. All this ones is good. Look at...

You can look as much as...

- He's the only man I've ever loved.

- He thought you were shoplifting, Ma.

- Don't touch!

- I can't help it.

- Tell him to stick his cards up his ass.

- You want me to say that?

I'm too weak to break the chains.

I don't feel so good.

I mean, I was up and now I'm down.

He's been married four times.

Four times, Gracie, since he left you.

Mickey Rooney was married eight times!

I don't care! I love Chester!

What a woman thinks she's doing

doesn't count for anything, Grace.

Oh, Kitty.

Okay, okay, that's enough now.

That's enough, that's enough.

When I see somebody hugging

it's make me sick.

I feel lonely. So lonely.

Don't make me cry. Please, go out!

# We are not ugly

# And we are not beautiful

# No, we are angry

- Rara, where's Mommy?

- Out.

Where?

# We are not pretty

I'm not supposed to say nothing.

She told me not to tell you.

# No, we are angry

Church. She went to church.

She went to church?

# We are angry

Went to see God, huh?

God's everywhere.

Don't need to go to church to see him.

You're right, Dad. God is everywhere.

# I'm outta here #

All right, I'm hungry, let's eat.

What's for dinner?

We ate already.

- You ate?

- Pork chops.

Without me, your father?

Mommy didn't cook for you.

I had three pork chops

Your mother's down there lighting

candles and a man's here starving?

- ...and apple sauce.

- I paid for those pork chops!

Papa wants pork chops.

Medium rare.

Mama ain't...

Mama ain't cookin', bastin'

floppin' pork chops.

- Pork chops!

- Lamb chops!

- Lamb chops! Chops, chops.

- Loin chops!

# Barometer, parameter

# Ooh! Barometer, diameter

# Stuck his meat thermometer

and tested her barometer

# Papa pop a cork

F***in' the pork

# Papa ate out! Gonna take out!

# Take out! Ate out!

# Ate out!

# Take out!

# Take out! #

# How my heart does rejoice

# When I hear his sweet voice

# And the tempest to Him I do flee

# That to lean on his arm

# Safe, secure from all harm

# When He reached out his hand for me

# For me

# When my Saviour reached down for me

# For me

# When He reached down his hand for me

# For me

# I was lost and undone

# Without my God or his Son

# When He reached down his hand for me

# For

# For

# Me #

What have we here?

Return of the prodigal daughter?

Come!

Come on in.

# Never, ever gonna give you up #

"Can't get enough of your love, babe."

"I'm gonna love you

just a little bit more, Baby."

"I'll do for you anything you want me to."

"Let the music play."

"Your sweetness is my weakness."

You're the best kisser in the whole world

Fryburg.

I'm going to make out

with your whole family, Baby.

Do it, baby! Do it!

# Didn't I make you feel

# Like you were the only man?

# Didn't I give you everything

a woman possibly can?

# But with all the love I give you

# It's never enough

# I'm gonna show you, baby

# That a woman can be tough

# So come on, come on

# Come on, come on

# Take it

# Take another little piece

of my heart now, baby

# Break it

# Break another little bit

of my heart now, honey

# Have a

# Have another little piece

of my heart now, baby

# You know you've got it

if it makes you feel good #

Hello? Who's this?

Hey, baby, it's me.

Oh.

Hello.

Did you make love last night?

Love?

No.

So you've lost a night.

Oh, Nicky.

I want you to put your finger

up my a**hole right now.

Tula.

My p*ssy's lonely, baby.

Yeah?

Kiss it, nasty man. Come on.

Yeah. Give me those balls that clang.

Don't talk like that, will you?

Well, you know what, Nicky? I can't talk.

I'm just getting f***ed by a big, hard

young, circumcised cock.

What are you talking about?

Are you with somebody else?

You're not here.

What do you want me to do

sit around and touch myself?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. I do.

Let me put the radio on. All right.

All right.

All right, all right, go ahead.

# Come on, come on

So, I put my ass in your face

and move it up and down, up and down.

# Come on and take it

# Take an other little piece

of my heart now, baby #

Do you like it like that, Nicky, do ya?

I'm rubbing my p*ssy.

Are you getting really hard?

How is your foreskin? Is it still on, is it?

Show me your face, big boy!

Yeah, that's it, nasty man.

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