Romance and Cigarettes Page #3

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You know what to do.

You know all the tricks, don't you?

# You know you got it

# Take it #

It's tasty, isn't it?

Come on, lick the icing off me cupcakes.

I'm rubbing myself

really rubbing myself hard...

# If you're looking for trouble

You came to the right place

# If you're looking for trouble

Just look right in my face

# I was born standing up

# And talking back

# My daddy was a green-eyed mountain jack

# Because I'm evil #

Cousin Bo!

What's the trouble, Kitten?

"Breaking in a brand new broken heart?

"Lost that loving feeling?

"Three cigarettes in an ashtray? "

It's worse than any song could say.

If anyone could, the King would.

I know, I know the hurt.

Been there. Nick's been shacking?

Not now, Bo.

I'll lay him right out. Boom! Like that.

No one messes with my Special K.

All right, Baby.

Baby, you're the 50-foot woman.

You'd better not be getting hitched.

No! The dummy was just too short.

"Here's looking at you, kid."

I got my teeth fixed.

Good for you, Bo.

Are you circumcised?

What?

Are you circumcised?

Circularise?

No, circumcised!

My circulation's fine.

No. Are you circumcised? You know?

Does a man's calzone look better that way?

Is it more attractive to women with...

I'd like to f*** a woman

with a backside as big as the world.

Are you listening to me? I'm talking to you.

Well, who wants to know?

You cocksucker.

You should have been a scientist.

It's cleaner. It's cleaner without the foreskin.

Most guys in pornos, John Leslie

nobody better.

Yes. I would say, yes.

Are you circumcised?

Hell, no. That sh*t hurts.

Somebody cuts my dick

it better be for vengeance.

# One, two, three, uh!

# Hot pants!

# Hey, hot pants!

# Hot pants! Smokin'! Hot pants!

# Where it's at

# That's where it's at

# Baby, take your Fryburg

# Looks much better with time

I f***ing love you!

- # My fever keeps growing

- I f***ing love you!

# Girl, you're blowing my mind! #

We've got the address, no last name.

Find the love shack.

You got a weapon?

Maybe we should stop

get something bigger.

I don't need something bigger.

Yes.

Do you have

a decrease in libido?

Sure. Thank you.

Do you have a decrease in strength

and/or endurance?

Have you lost height?

Are your erections less strong?

Has your uncircumcised foreskin

ever resulted in an adverse reaction

from your partner?

Does the shape of your glans

cause you anxiety?

Are you concerned

about inadequate penile hygiene?

If you answered, "Yes, " to question one

Mr Murder, please.

...or at least three of the questions

you may be a candidate

for adult circumcision.

I heard you with Fryburg.

You make loud noises and I hear them.

You make loud noises?

Yeah. I want to make them, too.

I told my psychiatrist.

- What?

- What?

I had nothing else to tell him. So...

F*** off, Fryburg.

I'm a f***ing star.

Did he do his Richard Gere for you?

Jumping all around in his jockstrap?

Gere!

- Richard Gere, he's hot!

- Hot chocolate!

Chetty!

He's got an ass that yodels.

Call me!

Chetty, Junior! Chetty, Junior!

Good God! Chetty!

Mom. Fryburg, Ma!

Was fr ein Name ist denn Fryburg?

Fryburg?

Chester the Molester.

You're just jealous.

Look, I know that you know that I know

that you want me, Connie-lingus.

Don't you talk to her like that, you animal!

I'll put your head in a pillory!

Your father called.

So?

He wants to come to your sister's house

for the holidays.

How am I going to face him?

Some day, somewhere, somehow

I am going to go up in one of those

metal cans and I am gonna fly away.

Far away.

Okay, this is the block.

That redheaded skank is going down.

# Someone I belong to

I've got your back.

# Doesn't belong to me

Men. They blow smoke up your ass

make you pregnant

then go hunt for new snapper.

# Someone who can be faithful

# Who knows that I have to be

# Why must I be alone?

# So

# Why can I

# On my own

# So

# Alone from night to night you find me

Is Tula here?

# Too weak

Does that b*tch live here?

# To break the chains that bind me

No.

# I need no shackles

# To remind me

# I'm just a prisoner

# Of love

# For one command

# I stand and wait now

# For one who's master of my fate now

Yeah, baby.

# I can't escape

# For it's too late now

# I'm just a prisoner of love

# Just a prisoner of love

# Oh, I'm just a prisoner of love

# What's the good of my caring

Give it up.

# If someone is sharing

# Those arms

# With me

# Although he has another

# I can't have another

# 'Cause I'm

# I'm not free

# He is in my dreams

# Awake or sleeping

# Upon my knees

# To her I'm creeping

# His very life, my very life

# Is in his keeping

# Oh, I'm just a prisoner of love #

Thongs, half bras, full bras

g- strings, push-up bras, teddies

garter belts, crotchless panty hose.

F*** bloomers. That's what I sell.

To rich, tan, bored housewives

who take the fat from their ass-cheeks

and inject it into their lips.

If you're gonna kiss someone's arse, then

you should know that's what you're kissing.

Personally, I think

kissing's sexier than shagging

but you're sucking on chicken fat there.

Not that their husbands mind.

You know, they're out buying

big homes, buying paintings

going to the f***ing opera

taking one up the bum for the Queen

while the misses are out sticking their

fannies in my face.

Does my bum look big in this?

Can you see my cellulite?

What they need, these women

is a good old-fashioned horsefuck.

They can buy all the new panties they want

but they get stained, don't they?

Stained panties, part of life

no matter how hard you wipe.

I think you're dead sexy.

Not at first.

Then one day, I looked up and I saw you

working with your shirt off and your gut out.

"That's a man"

I said to myself.

A real man.

Someone to take me down the pub for a pint.

You're way too old for me

but I figure you only go round once in life.

I've got, what, 75 years

if I don't get hit by a bus?

I want to kiss you, big man.

I want to give you a big, sloppy, wet kiss.

You won't tell anyone, right?

Inch by inch

the elephant f***ed the ant.

Ouch.

I'm qualified to satisfy you.

Don't worry, kid. We'll find the ho.

We've got to think like Kojak.

"Who loves you, baby? "

We'll smoke her redheaded ass out

then we'll let the music play.

What am I doing?

I don't know what I'm doing.

Who knows what anybody's doing?

Some people fear the Lord.

I fear women.

What really happened

between you and Roe?

Roe

was my first love.

I traced her name in cowshit.

She was "my first..."

"my last, my everything."

Was it, um, true, I mean, that you had...

What?

Um.

Trouble?

Only with Roe.

With other chicks

I'm Barry White.

I go to the meat market

I'm in and out like car service.

- Okay, okay.

- I don't mean to be crude, but it's the truth.

Maybe I knew her too well.

I don't know.

Is that why she left?

She met the Greek.

Come here.

Come up here.

# I saw the light on the night

that I passed by her window

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