Romance and Cigarettes Page #4

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# I saw the flickering shadows

of love on her blind

# She was my woman

Spank, spank!

# As she deceived me

I watched and went out of my mind

# My, my, my, Delilah

# Why, why, why, Delilah?

# I could see

# That girl was no good for me

# But I was lost like a slave

that no man could free

# At break of day when that man drove away

I was waiting

The Greek!

# I crossed the street to her house

and she opened the door

Roe!

Why?

# She stood there laughing

# I felt the knife in my hand

and she laughed no more

# My, my, my, Delilah

# Why, why, why, Delilah?

You stabbed me.

# So before

# They come to break down the door

# Forgive me, Delilah

I just couldn't take any more

# So before

# They come to break down the door

# Forgive me, Delilah, I just couldn't take

# Any more! #

Bo?

Roe?

Bo.

Loser.

# I know a guy who's tough but sweet

# He's so fine, he can't be beat

# He's got everything that I desire

# Sets the summer sun on fire

# I want candy

# I want candy #

Wait, whoa, whoa! What are you...

What is going on here?

What are you wear... That...

Oh, my God.

That's Mrs Lipshitz's daughter's dress.

What is she gonna say if she sees that?

She's gonna say that I look better

than her daughter Stacy in it.

That's what she's gonna say.

- Take it off.

- No.

- Right now. Take it off. Now!

- It's wasted on her. I'm not taking it off!

They're engaged.

You two must think

I'm the cucumber in the gardener's ass.

Your mother know about this, Chetty?

Yes, Chetty, does your mother know?

Fryburg does as Fryburg pleases.

Fryburg is a free man!

I don't care

if he calls himself Melvin the Moon Man

he's not marrying my daughter.

- You're not going to come to my wedding?

- I'm coming.

Your mother's not coming to the nuptials?

- Hold on.

- Ma, you want a hit?

If I died and was born again

no, I'm not coming.

I'm your daughter! Your baby daughter!

I'm in love, Ma.

Love is the vaguest word

in the human vocabulary.

- My head is full of Fryburg.

- It's terrible and beautiful.

- His lips fill my dreams.

- Empty glasses.

- My head is full of Fryburg.

- It's terrible and beautiful.

- His lips fill my dreams.

- Empty glasses.

- When I'm away from him...

- Senseless conversations.

- ...my thoughts are of him and only him.

- Cigarette ashes.

He's my first love.

Well, anybody can be in love.

- I've read romances...

- When you've seen your lover...

- ...puke his guts out...

- ...in prose and verse...

- ...grow a cyst on his ass...

- ...in different languages.

- ...crush you with his beer belly...

- So I must be...

- ...stink of cheese...

- I must be in love. I love Fryburg...

- ...reach in there and rip your heart out

- ...Mom...

...and leaves a big, empty hole

then and only then can you say, "I love him!"

Do you even love dad?

I loved him. He pulled down the shade.

Now I hate him.

Why did you guys even get married then?

I...

I was lonely.

He was handsome.

Wild, crazy eyes, like an animal

peering out of a forest on fire.

You know, love doesn't...

Not everything is cured by love, huh?

Look, my life has been one hell of a mess

but you are one of the reasons

that I keep trying.

Rosebud's my heartache.

Get a life and then do love.

Don't throw your dreams

into the never-never.

Life doesn't give you second chances.

Come on, baby. Check it out! Check it out!

We're gonna work.

Hey, you a**hole.

Tease me, tease me! Hammer me!

Slam me! Drill me!

You did it for me. For me!

Give me all of that helldog!

Pour it into my red-hot oven!

Ooh, yeah, does it feel different?

Oh, does it feel different?

Tease me! Love me! Don't stop!

Oh, it's so beautiful! Oh, yeah!

It's so beautiful!

Oh, yeah! I can't believe...

I can't believe you cut it off for me!

You kill me! Oh! Yeah! Yes! I love it!

Go on. Keep going, Nicky!

You know you can! You know you can!

You used to be an athlete, didn't you?

Yeah, I know you did.

That's it! Ooh, you filthy bugger!

Oh, keep going now. I love it! I love it!

Oh, God, yes! Oh, yeah! Like that.

It's lovely like that! Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Give me

that f***ing fairy dusting, Nick.

You know what?

Next time a flag rises

you can knock on me back door.

Marlon Brando style.

What do you mean, up... Up your stovepipe?

Yeah.

Sure.

Why not?

Open my safe.

This is great chicken.

I'd better stop eating it.

I'll blow up like a f***ing whale.

You don't want a fat bird

for a girlfriend, do you?

God. You are one crude broad.

Is that what you think of me?

I'm not a thinker. No.

Do you think of me? Ever?

Tell me what you like about me.

And don't be f***ing polite.

The nasty way you look at me.

Mmm-hmm.

The way you touch your hair and you twirl it.

Right.

Your soft, white basket

up in the air

staring at me like a third eyeball.

You're funny.

Your...

I don't know, just, you're...

Your red everything.

I really like you.

I like you, too.

What about our future?

What are we gonna do?

Just living till you die is hard work.

# Tell me your love is true

# Like I love you

# Too many times romantic words are

spoken

# Too many words of love are said in vain

# Too many times a foolish heart is broken

# And left with just a memory for a token

# How can I know that you

won't hurt me, too?

# Do you love me the way you kiss me?

# 'Cause you kiss me like you love me

# Do you mean everything you say

# And do you say everything you mean?

# Do you love me the way you hold me?

# 'Cause you hold me like you love me

# Is it only a lovely dream

# Or can I dream of a wedding day?

# Do you love me the way you hold me?

# 'Cause you hold me like you love me

# Is it only a lovely dream or can I dream

# Of a wedding day? #

Tsk.

There's nothing so magical

as a woman's ass!

Give me hot broads in high heels

with asses that forgot to get old.

What is with men, huh?

They think they can whip their schlongs out

whenever they want just in broad daylight

for the whole world to see?

Give the guy a break.

- What?

- Man is a beast.

Take myself, for instance.

I see a young girl get up on a school bus

jeans riding low, showing a thong.

My first thought is

"I want to buzz your butt."

- Am I right?

- Uh-huh.

My second, "How could your mommy and

daddy allow you to go to school like that?"

You should be ashamed of yourself.

I am, but it doesn't last. Blah blah blah.

Do you know where we're going?

Ring-a-ding-ding. All right, $1.69, plus tax.

Where?

Round two

Baby Mazoa against Spice Wallah.

Baby looks a little bit out of shape, there.

Come on!

These guys today, they can't fight!

- Daddy.

- What?

I've got to talk to you.

I'm in the flesh.

Yeah, but it's something that's really

really important...

In the kidney, hit him in the kidney!

- 'Cause I've been wrestling...

- Have some liquorice.

No, thank you.

Where's your mother?

Mother?

That's it! Hit him in the stomach!

In the stomach! In the stomach! Yeah!

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