Romance and Cigarettes Page #6

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I am! You were meant for me.

Look, I almost love you.

"Killing me softly."

I gotta go home.

Home?

Where is home?

A place where a girl with kind eyes

named Kitty lives.

I love my wife.

Yeah.

She's not gonna take you back.

Yeah, we'll see. I...

You fit into me.

You know.

But I gotta change.

I'm a slow learner, but I'm gonna change.

You wouldn't be able to say that

if I was licking your balls.

It'd be hard.

Yeah, it'd be hard. It'd be rock hard.

Yeah, look, there's more to life

than that, Tula. Okay.

I let you in.

I let you open my apple like a f***ing flower

in the f***ing rain, you f***!

There's more to life than a hard on, okay?

No, there's not! It starts there, doesn't it?

That's where life starts.

- Let me suck you before you leave me.

- No.

- Go on.

- No.

No!

# Under here

# You just take my breath away

# Under here

# The water flows over my head

# I can hear

# The little fishes

# Under here whispering

# Your most terrible name

# Under here

# They've given me starfish for eyes

# And your head

# Is a big red balloon

# Under here your huge hand

is heavy on my chest

# And under here, sir

# Your lovely voice retreats

# And yes

# You take my breath away

# And I glow

# With the greatness

# Of my hate for you #

Kitty, I...

- Stay away from me.

- Please.

- I'm not talking to you.

- I'm your husband.

I know that, you're the one that forgot it.

Can't you forgive?

The die is cast.

From the bottom of my heart...

You made your bed. Go lie in it

- I apologise.

- ...with your slut!

I know I lied to you.

Point blank.

Can't you give me one more chance?

Please!

I'll do anything. Anything.

I'll give you anything.

I love you.

Maybe I don't know how to show it

like they do in the movies or in books

but I love. I have love to give!

I don't want your tired gestures of love.

# This is a man's world

# This is a man's world

# But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing

# Without a woman or a girl

# You see

Oh, my God, a dog!

# Man made the train

# To carry the heavy load

# Man made the electric light

# To take us out of the dark

# Man made the boat for the water

# Like Noah made the Ark

# This is a man's, man's, man's world

# But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing

# Without a woman or a girl

# He's lost in the wilderness

# He's lost

# In bitterness #

# I tell myself what's done is done

# I tell myself don't be a fool

Whoa, whoa, mister, hey!

What do you think you're doing?

Shovelling.

Not in my yard. Hey!

What are we, peeping Toms?

Buddy, you don't have to put this here...

This is my boyfriend! My boyfriend!

My one and only!

He's the Fruitman. I know who he is.

He works at the Big R.

You got one beautiful pair of little

hills there, lady.

- What?

- I watch you like dessert.

Bending over in them tight little clamdiggers.

Feeling the tomatoes. Squeezing them.

Full moons. Grand, wide open cans.

Oh, woman's ass!

Roundly defeating man's in every class!

Frances, that's enough!

- Shut up, Ma!

- Don't you talk to me...

You didn't want me to have a boyfriend!

You never did! You want them all to yourself!

The Fruitman's here to stay, Mommy!

- Don't you talk that way to me!

- Hey!

What the hell's going on out here?

Die, you bastard!

Go on, throw it in his f***ing face!

You just twisted the cap off the tube, buddy.

When's the last time you and your wife

had sex?

She hasn't been f***ed in over a year!

- Tobacco Road!

- Come on, kumquat!

Fruitman, in the street!

- In the street! In the street!

- In the street!

Wait, wait, wait! Hey, what are you doing?

What do you think you're doing?

She speaks to me.

Over here, Magoo!

Come on. Come on. Time for school!

- Come on!

- Ding dong, baby!

What's the matter, can't you smell me?

- Come here.

- Sad f***! Come on, kill him! Murder him!

- Time for school, baby.

- Come on.

Kill him! Kill him! Kill him! Come on!

Hit him!

Get him! Murder him! Come on! Get him!

Get in there! Punch him!

Come on, hurry up!

Ow, you f***!

# It must be him, it must be him

# Or I shall die #

Get him! Come on! Kill him!

Punch him! Kill him!

Give me a slap! Come on!

Punch him, I wanna see some blood!

Show me you love me!

D*ckhead, show me you f***ing love me!

Choke him! That's it!

Sweetheart! Watch out!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

F***! She hit me with a f***ing tree!

F***ing troublemaker!

I'll kill you with a Glamour Stretcher!

Come on, you skinny thing.

Come on, you bastard.

# It must be him, it must be him

# Or I shall die #

My name is Rosebud. I did not begin right.

If I was ever well

it was before I can remember.

We're a crazy family

but there's love still here.

Our next door neighbours are mean people.

Frances' mother was in a circus.

She was an acrobat.

And she tried and tried to have a baby

and finally she had Frances

a foul-mouthed, spoiled princess

who fell in love with The Fruitman

who was born without a brain

and a pea for a heart.

This is my statement of feelings.

Thank you very much.

Rara, where are you going?

So how are you?

Fine. You?

My head hurts.

"Will there be any stars

any stars in my crown"

"When the evening sun goes down?"

"Will there be any stars in my crown?"

What can I say?

There's nothing to say.

Ethel Merman.

What about Ethel Merman?

- I never liked Ethel Merman.

- Yeah?

When I took you to see her

she intruded on our aloneness

with that foghorn of a voice.

There's lots of kinds of singers.

- Ethel belted.

- Yeah.

Didn't...

Didn't Ernest Borgnine give her a smack?

Yep. Yep.

Gave her the bloody end of the stick.

Marriage lasted a week.

Well, you can't blame Ernie.

"You Can't Get A Man With A Gun"

would drive any man crazy.

Ray Middleton, him I liked.

Hmm.

# The girl that I marry would have to be

# Soft and as pink as a nursery

# The girl I call my own

# Would wear satin and laces

# And smell like cologne #

Dear Father, forgive me

for I have sinned. It's been...

twenty, thirty years since my last

confession.

Do you believe in God?

I don't know. I'd like to.

I'm a jealous, selfish man.

My wife, she never got her due, not from me.

I loved her, but, but...

that's not enough.

Now the, uh

smoke fairy's gonna make me disappear.

Puff by puff.

My sweet little Princess Nicotine.

I'm going to die, Father.

Like everybody does, even the rich people.

So I just thought

that maybe it was time to, uh

get a few things down on the record.

I'm Kitty's husband.

I know.

Two things.

Two things a man should be able to do.

Be romantic and smoke his brains out.

I agree.

# One

# Thou shalt never love another

# Thou shalt never love another

# Two

# And stand by me all the while

# And stand by me all the while

# Three

# Take happiness with the heartaches

# Take happiness with the heartaches

# Four

# And go through life wearing a smile

# And go through life wearing a smile

# Oh, how happy we will be

# If we keep

# The ten commandments of love

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