Romance on the High Seas Page #6

following the ship.

No, no, not marinated herring.

l don't feel so hot.

l think l better be going.

-Good night, doctor.

-Good night.

-And l hope l sleep well.

-l hope so.

Well, doctor?

Yes, she'll live, but l can't make

any prediction about myself.

-Would you mind helping me to my cabin?

-Not at all. ls something wrong?

Thank you very much.

No, l don't feel too good. l sort of....

-Oh, mess boy.

-l'm the purser. What can l do for you?

There's something wrong with your list.

You haven't got Georgia Garrett listed.

-What was that name?

-Georgia Garrett.

Georgia as in marching through.

Garrett as in starving in.

l'm sorry, if she isn't listed,

she's not onboard.

Don't be coy. l've been

chasing her all over the ship.

Tell me, do you know this tomato?

Why certainly. This toma--

This lady is Mrs. Michael Kent.

Oh, she's Mrs. Kent now.

-And what is Mrs. Kent's stateroom?

-Twenty-three, B deck.

Thank you.

Take the next two weeks off.

Sure-- What?

l haven't eaten all day.

Come in.

Oscar, how'd you get on this boat?

-l lied about my age.

-You chooch.

-You followed me here, huh?

-That's right.

l was sitting alone in a restaurant...

...the waiter put down a check,

and you weren't there to pick it up.

Oscar, please go away.

lncidentally,

l picked up your last two paychecks.

lt was barely enough

to pay for my plane ticket.

Didn't even leave me enough

to buy you a present. l feel like a cad.

You crook. You can go to jail for that.

Marry me and you won't

have to testify.

l'm so sleepy.

And you know l don't love you.

l don't know whether to believe

what l'm hearing or what l'm feeling.

Where's the radio room?

-Top deck, sir, next to the lounge.

-Thanks.

l have all the seductive powers

of a sedative.

You chooch.

Start worrying.

Will you please send this radiogram

at once? And send it collect.

Good morning.

Well, good morning.

Good morning.

l use the expression loosely.

-How are you?

-l feel just fine.

You'd be interested to know

that l feel fine too.

-l was sure you would.

-l wanna thank you.

-You left me in good hands last night.

-Yes, yes, l saw as much.

-That doctor sure gets results.

-Of course, sometimes he needs help.

That specialist

that was called in on the case after.

Specialist?

Can you explain to me why that man

was in your cabin kissing you?

-No.

-Well?

Well, can you explain

why you were watching my cabin?

-No.

-Well?

-Well, maybe--

-Maybe what?

Well, maybe

l'm narrow-minded.

But l don't like married women

who play around.

-What if the other man was you?

-That's beside the point.

-lt is, is it?

-Yes, it is.

Everything they've said about women like

you on boats like this turned out to be true.

-Or don't you follow me?

-l've wanted to, Peter, anywhere, anytime.

Well, don't.

-Peter, you can't mean that.

-l ca--

l've only one thing to say to you,

Mrs. Kent...

...l would certainly hate to be Mr. Kent.

You chooch.

-Good morning, madam.

-Good morning.

l'd like to get higher than a kite.

Yes, madam. What shall it be?

l don't know, l don't drink.

Well, how about cherry--?

Never mind. l'll get my kicks

my way. Just forget it.

-Hi, fellas.

-Hi.

-Why so glum?

-l don't know. l'm in the mood, l guess.

-Bright or blue?

-You start it, l'll finish it.

You can take the moon

Gather up the stars

And the robins that sing merrily

Put 'em in a box

Tie 'em with a ribbon

And throw 'em in the deep blue sea

You can take the flowers

Down in Lovers' Lane

And that sentimental poetry

Put 'em in a box

Tie 'em with a ribbon

And throw 'em in the deep blue sea

Not for me all that stuff

The dreams that ruin your sleep

Not for me

Had enough

Love is one thing you can keep

You can take the plans

And the wedding bells

And whoever sings

''Oh, Promise Me''

Put 'em in a box

Tie 'em with a ribbon

And throw 'em in the deep blue sea

'Cause love and I we don't agree

The hansoms through the park

The kisses in the dark

All the promises made faithfully

Put 'em in a box

Tie 'em with a ribbon

And throw 'em in the deep blue sea

And you won't go wrong

If you take a song

Sung by Frankie boy or Mr. C

Put 'em in a box

Tie 'em with a ribbon

And throw 'em in the deep blue sea

Not for me all that stuff

The dreams that ruin your sleep

Not for me

Had enough

Love is one thing you can keep

In the icebox

You know what you can do

With good old ''Tea for Two ''

And the girl for you, the boy for me

Put 'em in a box

Tie 'em with a ribbon

Throw 'em in the deep blue sea

-'Cause love and I we don't agree

-At all

-'Cause love

-Love

And I

We don't agree

Thanks, fellas. Excuse me.

That was fun.

So it's you.

l accept that as a greeting.

Very funny.

Oscar, what do you want?

For one thing, l'd like to get

this Mrs. Kent business straight.

-Oh, please, why don't you go home?

-l can't swim.

lf you really love me,

you'll pretend not to know me.

Listen, l didn't come all this way and spend

all your money to pretend l don't know you.

Does that instrument interfere

with your work?

-You're in some kind of trouble, aren't you?

-The worst kind of trouble.

Oscar, l'm in love.

-Don't you think you're being forward?

-Not with you.

That was a short romance.

lt's all so complicated.

You remember the night when that

classy couple asked me to have a drink?

They turned out to be Mrs. Elvira Kent

and her uncle, head of a drugstore chain.

What a deal they threw my way.

A chance to cash in on all my dreams,

so I accepted.

My first night onboard, I met him.

There must be something about salt air,

he looked so wonderful to me.

By the time we reached Cuba,

I was in love with him.

Head over heels,

if you know what I mean.

Oh, Havana was heaven.

And all the time I had to pretend

that who I was, I wasn't.

Then, this morning, what does he give me?

The gate, hinges and all.

So here l am. He thinks l'm married.

lf l kiss him, l lose him.

On the other hand, if l tell him the truth,

who will he hate most, a cheat or a phony?

l know you're phony,

and l don't hate you.

You don't know what it's like

to want someone.

Don't l? Oh, well...

...l guess l'll just have to

bury myself in my work.

-ls that your ''Brooklyn Rhapsody''?

-Who said anything about Brooklyn?

lt's now the ''Caribbean Rhapsody.''

l'm adaptable.

-Have you finished?

-l don't want to.

People will like it,

they'll make a big fuss over me.

l'll be the toast of the town. Then what

happens to that boy you and l love?

Aren't you being modest?

l have confidence in you, Oscar.

Everybody has confidence in me.

That's my trouble.

ln high school,

l was voted the boy most likely to succeed.

ln college, they said

l had a brilliant future.

l wonder what ever became of me?

It's you

Or no one for me

I'm sure of this

Each time we kiss

Now and forever

And when forever's done

You'll find that you are still

The one

Please don't say no

To my plea

'Cause if you do

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