Romeo and Juliet Page #9

'lady, lady, lady.'

Exeunt MERCUTIO and BENVOLIO

Nurse

Marry, farewell! I pray you, sir, what saucy

merchant was this, that was so full of his ropery?

ROMEO:

A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk,

and will speak more in a minute than he will stand

to in a month.

Nurse

An a' speak any thing against me, I'll take him

down, an a' were lustier than he is, and twenty such

Jacks; and if I cannot, I'll find those that shall.

Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am

none of his skains-mates. And thou must stand by

too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?

PETER:

I saw no man use you a pleasure; if I had, my weapon

should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare

draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a

good quarrel, and the law on my side.

Nurse

Now, afore God, I am so vexed, that every part about

me quivers. Scurvy knave! Pray you, sir, a word:

and as I told you, my young lady bade me inquire you

out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself:

but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into

a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross

kind of behavior, as they say: for the gentlewoman

is young; and, therefore, if you should deal double

with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered

to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.

ROMEO:

Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I

protest unto thee--

Nurse

Good heart, and, i' faith, I will tell her as much:

Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.

ROMEO:

What wilt thou tell her, nurse? thou dost not mark me.

Nurse

I will tell her, sir, that you do protest; which, as

I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.

ROMEO:

Bid her devise

Some means to come to shrift this afternoon;

And there she shall at Friar Laurence' cell

Be shrived and married. Here is for thy pains.

Nurse

No truly sir; not a penny.

ROMEO:

Go to; I say you shall.

Nurse

This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there.

ROMEO:

And stay, good nurse, behind the abbey wall:

Within this hour my man shall be with thee

And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair;

Which to the high top-gallant of my joy

Must be my convoy in the secret night.

Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains:

Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.

Nurse

Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.

ROMEO:

What say'st thou, my dear nurse?

Nurse

Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,

Two may keep counsel, putting one away?

ROMEO:

I warrant thee, my man's as true as steel.

NURSE:

Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady--Lord,

Lord! when 'twas a little prating thing:--O, there

is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain

lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief

see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her

sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer

man; but, I'll warrant you, when I say so, she looks

as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not

rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?

ROMEO:

Ay, nurse; what of that? both with an R.

Nurse

Ah. mocker! that's the dog's name; R is for

the--No; I know it begins with some other

letter:
--and she hath the prettiest sententious of

it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good

to hear it.

ROMEO:

Commend me to thy lady.

Nurse

Ay, a thousand times.

Exit Romeo

Peter!

PETER:

Anon!

Nurse

Peter, take my fan, and go before and apace.

Exeunt

SCENE V. Capulet's orchard.

Enter JULIET

JULIET:

The clock struck nine when I did send the nurse;

In half an hour she promised to return.

Perchance she cannot meet him: that's not so.

O, she is lame! love's heralds should be thoughts,

Which ten times faster glide than the sun's beams,

Driving back shadows over louring hills:

Therefore do nimble-pinion'd doves draw love,

And therefore hath the wind-swift Cupid wings.

Now is the sun upon the highmost hill

Of this day's journey, and from nine till twelve

Is three long hours, yet she is not come.

Had she affections and warm youthful blood,

She would be as swift in motion as a ball;

My words would bandy her to my sweet love,

And his to me:

But old folks, many feign as they were dead;

Unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead.

O God, she comes!

Enter Nurse and PETER

O honey nurse, what news?

Hast thou met with him? Send thy man away.

Nurse

Peter, stay at the gate.

Exit PETER

JULIET:

Now, good sweet nurse,--O Lord, why look'st thou sad?

Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily;

If good, thou shamest the music of sweet news

By playing it to me with so sour a face.

Nurse

I am a-weary, give me leave awhile:

Fie, how my bones ache! what a jaunt have I had!

JULIET:

I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news:

Nay, come, I pray thee, speak; good, good nurse, speak.

Nurse

Jesu, what haste? can you not stay awhile?

Do you not see that I am out of breath?

JULIET:

How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath

To say to me that thou art out of breath?

The excuse that thou dost make in this delay

Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse.

Is thy news good, or bad? answer to that;

Say either, and I'll stay the circumstance:

Let me be satisfied, is't good or bad?

Nurse

Well, you have made a simple choice; you know not

how to choose a man: Romeo! no, not he; though his

face be better than any man's, yet his leg excels

all men's; and for a hand, and a foot, and a body,

though they be not to be talked on, yet they are

past compare:
he is not the flower of courtesy,

but, I'll warrant him, as gentle as a lamb. Go thy

ways, wench; serve God. What, have you dined at home?

JULIET:

No, no:
but all this did I know before.

What says he of our marriage? what of that?

Nurse

Lord, how my head aches! what a head have I!

It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces.

My back o' t' other side,--O, my back, my back!

Beshrew your heart for sending me about,

To catch my death with jaunting up and down!

JULIET:

I' faith, I am sorry that thou art not well.

Sweet, sweet, sweet nurse, tell me, what says my love?

Nurse

Your love says, like an honest gentleman, and a

courteous, and a kind, and a handsome, and, I

warrant, a virtuous,--Where is your mother?

JULIET:

Where is my mother! why, she is within;

Where should she be? How oddly thou repliest!

'Your love says, like an honest gentleman,

Where is your mother?'

Nurse

O God's lady dear!

Are you so hot? marry, come up, I trow;

Is this the poultice for my aching bones?

Henceforward do your messages yourself.

JULIET:

Here's such a coil! come, what says Romeo?

Nurse

Have you got leave to go to shrift to-day?

JULIET:

I have.

Nurse

Then hie you hence to Friar Laurence' cell;

There stays a husband to make you a wife:

Now comes the wanton blood up in your cheeks,

They'll be in scarlet straight at any news.

Hie you to church; I must another way,

To fetch a ladder, by the which your love

Must climb a bird's nest soon when it is dark:

I am the drudge and toil in your delight,

But you shall bear the burden soon at night.

Go; I'll to dinner: hie you to the cell.

JULIET:

Hie to high fortune! Honest nurse, farewell.

Exeunt

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