Ronal the Barbarian Page #2

Ronal when your parents died

I swore to take care of you.

And the promise I have kept. But now

it's your turn to promise anything.

Promise me that you want to save the others.

You owe them.

- What? No, but I can not.

- Promise me that!

- But ...

- Travel north to the oracle.

- He will help you.

- Oracle? How?

You are the only hope, Ronal.

The only barbarian, is left.

Uncle? Uncle?

Uncle?

Goraks invisibility cream.

Yo.

- What happens? Going on an expedition?

- Uh, no. I must find the others.

Well, okay.

- It's a trip. You need to raid!

- No. I must find my village.

It's very sick a raid.

Wait a minute.

- Who are you?

- Hello. Alibert, bard.

Damn nice to be followed.

You can not say no;

because I just goes anyway.

Now we are out walking around, we saw

not slip past the Amazons country?

- No.

- The girls down there would be lovely.

- It must be investigated.

- Try to hear.

- Do not follow me.

- Those girls are super horny.

- No!

- F***, you're boring, man.

Now I know what we do. We take

to Berylia. There are ladies' tails.

And four teats! It could be

for the sick, man!

- No, it could not.

- Come on. What are we here?

- I must talk to an oracle.

- Is it a kind of tourist?

Sick crib.

Hello?

- Hello?

- It was sateme time.

I've been sitting here since last Wednesday.

Are you coming or what?

- Sorry, what?

- I like when dried, to heck.

Is not home care?

- No, we ...

- Wait!

Gundars have sent ...

That's it. Come right ahead.

And be careful with haemorrhoids.

He is a mighty warlord

this prince Volcazar that you are talking about.

zakidernes dark force protects him.

Now I was so seen nor

interested in fighting with him.

Volcazar crave power

across Metalonien.

So far, no

been able to stop him.

Wow.

An impenetrable armor encloses

his body. No weapon bites on him.

Only one sword has strength

to crush him.

See.

- Oh, sick.

- What's so special about it?

It should especially you know, barbarians.

This is the crown of swords.

It's a joke, right?

Honestly, it do not exist.

Everybody has been looking for the damn sword -

- In thousands of years,

and nobody has found it.

It's a silly story.

Wreath sword is not a myth.

Only this can damage the princes Volcazar.

You can never save your village

outside to get at him first.

But I can not.

Only a great warrior without fear

the heart will be able to use it.

Without a great warrior

You will not defeat Volcazar.

And without a great warrior

would your tribe be damned!

But I can also be indifferent.

I'm just a pundit.

It's not my fault

that the barbarians have been kidnapped, do you?

Gu'ra zul!

Wizard!

Lord, time is fast approaching.

zakidernes temple must be awakened soon.

Otherwise it becomes impossible to perform

the ritual. Is Wreath sons caught?

- My mission is complete.

- Fantastic. Now nothing can stop us.

Mighty zaal. Wreath sons are gathered.

Awake from your lethargy!

What is happening?

Finally.

- What?

- What now?

The mighty Zaal is not satisfied.

The absence of one son of Crane.

- Impossible. Unless ...

- I do not understand ...

- We left none alive.

- Fool!

I need the blood of all living

barbarians, and then you let one escape.

- I can not explain.

- Find him for me. Now!

for they are in raid

Alibert and Ronal

the greatest heroes

in Metalonien

uh-uh

it's going so well

and the girls they say

Alibert

you're so delicious

My village has been burned,

and I must find Wreath sword.

Can not the devil be quiet

for five minutes so that I can think of?

- I sing a song barbarian instead.

- For God's sake, no.

Crane and he drew his proud sword

and drove with all his force

blade deep in Zakidens must

skull burst

Wait a minute. The song.

What was it?

"Lays Wreath".

There are 2073 verses

and I do them all by heart.

Crane gets totally much p*ssy.

- Why did not you say something?

- That he gets p*ssy?

No, about the song. It's about Crane.

You have sung a verse of his sword.

Is there one that tells you where it is?

from the crown of his chest the blood flowed

it was bleeding day and night

No no. After he dies. Come on. Sing.

his grave was placed the sword

Instead, now forgotten

Only Wisdom Book of Elves Farm

knows where it is stored

Wisdom book of Elves Farm.

That's it.

- We need to Elf Farm.

- Should we do it?

- This is how you find the sword!

- Girls are Elven pishamrende delicious.

It will be a great trip, it here.

Okay, I have two rules here at the

turn. A:
This is not a raid.

And two:
Do ??we have something that is

smallest expedition-style, we go around it.

- Is it a deal?

- Check.

Is that rule number one or two

we've just violated?

Run for your life.

Sh*t! What the hell is this?

What the hell was that?

No! No!

Ouch!

- Who are you? Are you one of them?

- My ... my neck.

Answer me!

I'm just a random

passersby. I swear.

It was not my opinion

to disturb you in the middle of your ...

- Slaughter of random men.

- They challenged me to a duel.

Oh no, not again.

Get out of here.

You may be allowed to live.

She is like when the warrior

we need to crown a sword.

What? Are you insane?

She is f***ing violent psychopath.

- Yes, exactly. Ask her.

- No.

Wanker. Yo, pretty. My friend Ronal

would like to ask you something.

Will a fresh krigerts as you -

- Out on such an expedition, you know.

In order to save his village.

And as a little bonus, I would like

let you play a little on my father's lute.

I do not know what he's talking about.

put your hand on my lute

and let me teach you to suck '

I will not learn to play

on your instrument.

- You are well expensive.

- I said it was not a good idea.

Another must rescue the barbarians.

- Did you barbarians?

- Um, yes.

- The barbarians, it is your village?

- Oh, yes.

Them, as they say,

are the greatest warriors in Metalonien?

Yes.

It's a worthy cause.

I'll take with you.

What?

I'm Zandra from skjoldmernes clan.

- Where are you going?

- Elf kingdom.

- We must find out where it is.

- We will need a guide.

- There is a nearby city. Come.

- No, wait. You can not just ...

- Do you have a problem with that?

- Now ... uh, no.

- Super. Come.

- I swear you scoop her husband.

Son of Crane! Son of Crane!

Come on! Faster!

Oh, cool.

Shaving my legs and call me Susan,

if this is the sickest place.

- Okay, we are here.

- Uh, okay.

What's up there, a**holes?

Is there not one of you

who cares to call a taxi?

- F***.

- Grease. There is happy hour.

There are many in there today.

Stay behind me.

We walk quietly in,

find a directory -

- And go again

before any notice to us.

And without a fight, okay?

Please?

- As you wish.

- Thank you.

Bing, Bing-li-bing-bing.

l your ass.

Son of Crane! Son of Crane!

So I said to her: "Your breasts

looks tired. Should I keep them? "

Your mother has always

had the longest tits.

Hey! Hey! Now stop you, buddy.

I tell you.

She was angry, man.

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