Room Service Page #3

Christine just brought me a backer.

Backer, backer! I'm sick

of hearing that word.

Then you went and registered this Davis.

Anybody want me?

- Are you Davis?

- Leave it to me, Joe.

- Have you any money?

- No, I haven't.

Are you from the "We Never Sleep"

collection agency?

I'm the hotel manager.

Let me tell you something, Mr Davis.

There's $1,200 charged against this room,

and if you move in here with Miller

I'm going to bill you for half of it.

Say, what sort of a hotel is this?

- You move in, and you owe $600 right away.

- Pay no attention to him.

- He's excited.

- I'm not excited!

Gordon, you haven't got a dime,

and you never will have.

- All you've done is ruin me.

- Come on, Joe.

Now you got to give him a chance.

Yes, I'm sick of hearing about your backer.

Yes, speaking.

Oh, Mr Jenkins. Yes, come right up.

Joe, we're out of the woods.

My backer's on his way up now.

Now go down and tell Wagner

if he doesn't behave himself,

I'll buy this hotel and make him a bellhop.

No, that's too good for him.

I'll make him a guest.

This isn't a trick?

Your backer's really coming?

He's on his way up now.

Now if you just leave us alone

for the next 15 minutes...

Wagner told me not to leave this room,

but I guess this is important.

You bet it is.

Well, what's the matter with you, Oswego?

I'm just a little disappointed, that's all.

You wrote and told me

you were a great manager.

I am a great manager.

A great manager never puts

his own money into a play.

You were all so nice and so kind.

I thought I was moving

into some sort of a club.

Look, everybody does it this way.

Every honest producer has a backer.

A manager puts his own money in a play,

right away you know he's a crook.

Shhh. Money.

- Mr Jenkins, I believe.

- Yes. Mr Miller?

Come right in.

- This is Mr Binelli, my treasurer.

- How do you do, Mr Jenkins?

- Mr Davis, my author.

- How do you do, gentlemen?

Mr Jenkins, I'm glad to meet you.

I've never met a backer before.

Won't you be seated, Mr Jenkins?

Thank you.

I presume Miss Marlowe

has told you all about our meeting?

- Quite.

- I see you have a copy of my play with you.

- It's a great idea, isn't it?

- Quiet.

I enjoyed the play very much.

I'm the investing agent

for a very wealthy man.

I'm sure you'd recognise the name

if I mentioned it.

Who is he? Do I know him?

You see, there's a young lady involved.

And she would like to play a small part?

How did you know?

It came to me in a dream, Mr Jenkins.

Well, my employer's ready to put up $15,000.

$15,000?

Well, I...

I think we could just about manage on that.

- It's a little skimpy.

- Yes, it is.

But I think by cutting an edge here and

there, we could probably slip through.

I'm sure Davis won't mind

writing in a part for the young lady.

I won't change a line in the play.

- Shakespeare didn't change any lines.

- Shakespeare didn't owe $1,200.

You won't have to change a line in the play.

The young lady can play one of the miners.

But the miners are all men.

Do me a favour, Davis,

and keep sex out of this conversation.

I've never produced anything

but clean plays.

If you'll have the papers

ready, I'll sign them

and give you the cheque at,

shall we say, 10:30 tomorrow morning?

Shall we say at your office

at 10:
30 tomorrow?

- Why not here?

- You mean, up here?

I'd rather not meet at my office.

There's always the danger of publicity.

You can easily understand

my client's position.

Well... Tomorrow morning. 10:30 then.

- You couldn't make that tonight, huh?

- No, I'm afraid not.

Tomorrow morning at 10:30.

It's a pleasure to see

so much enthusiasm and youth.

- See you all tomorrow.

- Goodbye, Mr Jenkins.

- Goodbye.

- Watch the traffic light.

# We got a backer

We got a backer #

Great news, Joe.

- I've got the money for the play.

- Yeah, we got a backer, Joe. $15,000!

Glory be!

I'll have the cheque

tomorrow morning at 10:30.

Couldn't you get

a couple hundred dollars on account?

I couldn't, Joe.

I might have spoiled everything.

But we have to have money today.

Wagner's furious.

Mr Miller, your entire cast is in the lobby.

They've been locked out of their rooms.

He can't do this to me.

If I lose my cast, I'll sue him.

- Lf I lose my backer, I'll kill him.

- Gordon.

- Now, Gordon, don't start anything else.

- The actors got to sleep someplace.

Can't you put them in the ballroom?

It's just for overnight.

Now suppose Wagner goes into the ballroom

and sees them?

If Wagner comes in, they'll start dancing.

- All right. All right. Here are the keys.

- I'll take care of it.

- But please tell them to keep quiet.

- I will.

Tell them to do soft-shoe dancing.

- I'm going to get out of here.

- You can't do that.

I don't want to lose my clothes.

They're all I've got.

What's this?

They've checked somebody else in?

Why, no. This is Mr Miller.

Ah-ha! So you didn't skip after all.

Mr Wagner, I demand that you reopen

all those rooms on the 19th floor.

The occupants are my guests,

and I'm responsible for their bills.

Then who's responsible for yours? Davis?

I'm responsible for Davis.

- And who are you?

- I'm Davis.

Gribble, he's skipping

right under your very nose.

- I am not skipping.

- No, we're just bringing some things in.

Miller, I want a substantial payment.

Are you prepared to make it?

- I'll give you the entire $1,200 tomorrow.

- Tomorrow won't do.

We must have something today.

Wagner, you've an empty theatre downstairs.

You haven't been able to rent it

for three years. This is your chance.

- Give me till tomorrow, and...

- I am not interested.

Miller, I'll give you just 20 minutes

to clean up this bill. Otherwise...

I'll be locked out?

I see you're familiar with

hotel procedure. Very well.

Now, don't try the old gag

of staying in the room.

I'll force you out.

I'll send in painters, fumigators.

You should've sent in fumigators,

weeks ago.

Come on, Gribble.

I'll pull this hotel out of the red

if I have to check into every room myself.

By Godfrey!

Now I am going to lose my clothes.

What's the matter?

No.

- Well, what's the matter now?

- How do you like that?

Just because he owes six months rent,

they threw him out of his place.

Well, $6 is $6.

- I take it he intends to stay here with us?

- I guess so.

You mean, four of us in one room?

That's without the painters and

fumigators. But let's fight it out, men.

We've got to keep this room until 10:30

tomorrow morning, or we're doomed.

We'll have to sleep in shifts.

I'll take the night shift.

All right, you take the night shift

and I'll take the day shift,

and I'll be in Scotland afore you.

Is there a tourist camp

in the neighbourhood?

Wait a minute.

- Suppose one of us got sick.

- That's the idea.

They can't put a sick man out.

It's against the law.

Remember I had kidney trouble at the Astor

and gallstones at the Plaza.

Those were the happy days.

Why didn't I think of that before?

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