Rose Island Page #3

---

Let's recap.

One underwater concrete injector.

Then what? About 30 pillars?

Yes, about that.

Say we build them as thin as 90.

Then we need to hire ten skilled workers.

And even if we hire Calabrians,

no insurance, no payroll taxes,

and we fire them

with a random excuse in the last week

and we pay them nothing,

that's 100 million gone already.

If we got rid of the concrete?

We'd get down to 80,

but the problem is transportation.

To move 30 pillars of 90 for six miles,

we'd need a cargo boat.

If they were made of wood,

we could float them there.

It can't be made of wood,

it has to be steel.

I've been told steel doesn't float.

Well…

that ship's made of steel,

and by some weird magic

that I've never understood,

it does float.

So steel doesn't float,

but hollow steel does.

With hollow pillars,

we solve the problem of transportation.

I get it, but how can we build

a platform on hollow, empty pillars?

I never said empty.

Once they're in the right spot,

we open up one end,

and what happens?

It fills with water,

and it sinks to the bottom.

We'll build the island

with filled pillars,

but filled with water.

I'll pay you back for the pillars.

Don't worry.

For 700,000, I won't go hungry.

What, 700,000 lire?

Where did you get all that money?

I usually steal it from my father's safe.

-Doesn't he notice?

-Of course he does. It's 700,000 lire.

I blame the Calabrians who work for him.

He reports them, or he fires them.

I'm not sure.

I think this is it, here.

Turn off the engine!

Here we are.

If my calculations are correct,

from this point on,

we are outside territorial waters.

We're no longer in Italy, Maurizio.

We're in international waters.

No one's in charge here!

Nobody can tell us what to do,

what not to do,

and stuff like that, Maurizio.

We're free!

Maurizio!

Maurizio.

Hey, Maurizio.

Listen…

now comes the tricky part.

-I know.

-We need to unplug the tubes.

It's one thing doing it in a bathtub,

and quite another on the open sea.

Remember, lift up the slider,

and get away as quickly as you can.

-I got it. You told me a million times!

-Because it's dangerous.

Can't you smell the freedom?

Not really, Maurizio.

I can only smell some cheap herbal liquor.

You're already drunk at 8 a.m.?

Did you think I could do this sober?

I can't believe this.

By the way,

it's peach grappa.

I see.

Come on.

You go, man!

Be careful!

It's all in your hands now!

All in your hands!

Remember.

Remember, move away immediately.

Keep in mind all the steps.

Open the slider and get out of the way!

Move away immediately. Okay?

Do you hear me, Maurizio?

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

Of course not.

It's working!

No, Maurizio!

Why didn't you listen to me?

I told you to move away immediately!

He never listens!

He has to do things his way!

Look what's happened to him now!

Now I'm stranded here on the boat,

in the middle of the sea!

Well done!

It works!

It works!

It's the best day of my life!

I want to do it again! Come on!

So you two transported some pillars,

installed them on the seabed,

built a 400-square-meter platform

and nobody said anything?

That's correct.

Not until we got the drill.

The drill?

Yes.

To look for drinking water.

To be an independent island,

you need to have your own water.

So we had to drill.

Can't we turn this drill off?

It's been three days. It's driving me mad!

Maurizio, water is essential!

If you're worried

about the cost of the drill,

we'll have to budget better,

counting the workers and all that.

Come on!

We're not really going to pay them!

They're actually grateful to us.

They were this close to jail.

They stole millions from my dad's safe!

Wasn't that you?

Not according to the prosecutor in Rimini.

Right.

What a pain. Turn it off for a second.

And then we'll turn it back on.

You can't just flip a switch.

It's not a toaster.

Coastguard to…

unidentified island.

You're required to identify yourselves,

and to immediately cease all activities.

No, we can't turn it off just like that.

There's no switch!

Last warning.

The illegal occupation of public airwaves

is a criminal offense punishable

with immediate detention if in flagrante.

-Public airways?

-He doesn't get it. Let me talk to him.

This is not…

a toaster that you can switch on and off.

And we're in international waters!

And most importantly,

we're not a radio. We're not.

No!

He thinks the drill

is a transmitting antenna.

We're not transmitting.

We don't use airwaves. It's just a drill.

We're looking for water.

We're looking for water.

Did he say they're looking for water?

Did he understand?

What do they mean?

Why are you looking for water

in the middle of the sea?

Well, because…

To create an independent state.

An independent state

with or without radio?

Without radio!

A state without radio.

Perfect.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Have a nice day!

You too.

-More water?

-I'm okay, thanks.

Let's go

and take the Calabrians back to shore.

You know what?

I think I might stay here.

Here where?

Here, on the island.

We have everything.

We have water, coffee. We have everything.

And it's a beautiful, sunny day.

I'll spend my first night here.

Are you sure?

Why did we build an island

if we're not going to stay on it?

I'm definitely sure.

Anyway…

it's beautiful!

Sh*t. This is incredible.

Thank you, Maurizio.

Thank you.

Listen, better not to hug

in front of the Calabrians.

Do you mind?

Yes, sure. You're right. Sorry.

Hey!

Hey!

What is that?

This is a free and independent island!

We even have drinking water--

Okay, you can tell me later!

Help me up, please!

Pietro Bernardini.

Officially, a welder.

He'd been living on his boat for months,

and he became

the first resident of the island.

-Was the first resident really a castaway?

-Yes.

There appears to be another resident too.

A stateless man of German origin

whose name is…

whose name is…

Neumann.

Wolfgang Rudy Neumann.

Correct.

Wolfgang Rudy Neumann.

Legend has it that in 1943,

Neumann was forced to join the army

and was sent to Rimini

to defend the Gothic Line.

But as soon as he saw the beach,

he knew what he wanted to do

with his life.

Without even thinking about it,

one night he runs away from his camp

and goes to the town hall

to ask for a beach concession.

This is how the legend

of Wolfgang Rudy Neumann was born,

the greatest promoter

on the Romagna Riviera.

Rudy! Come here!

But at the end of the war,

he was charged with desertion

and his German citizenship was revoked.

Yes, Peppe?

Did I ever tell you

what my father did for a living?

-No, Peppe. You didn't.

-He was a buffalo farmer.

And guess what buffalo smells of?

Cows?

Sh*t.

I went to the toilet earlier,

and I was almost moved.

It reminded me of my childhood.

How many times do I have to tell you

you need to check them every 20 minutes,

and clean the sh*t off the floor,

off the walls, off the sink,

and off the toilet seats?

Why do I have to do that?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes