Rose Island Page #6

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So how's it going?

Sorry I'm late.

President?

Yes, Dad, but they're hippies.

They're over the top.

-Have you ordered yet?

-We were waiting for you.

Okay, here I am. Waiter!

What's fresh today?

Our usual catch of the day,

and a fantastic lobster

that can be served a number of ways.

Great! Lobster for everybody?

Half a portion of tagliolini.

Half a portion of tagliolini? Dad?

Yes, half a portion of tagliolini.

Don't worry about money, you're my guests.

-Half a portion--

-He'd like half a portion of tagliolini.

So two lobsters

and half a portion of tagliolini.

Good. Thank you.

-Thanks. You look good, Mom.

-Thanks.

Is it legal, Giorgio?

The money you're earning, is it legal?

What do you mean legal?

We're an independent state,

close to being recognized by the UN,

we get to decide what is legal.

Nobody gets to say

what is legal for themselves.

Dad, we're doing nothing wrong.

Don't believe the newspapers.

Why don't you come after lunch?

It's just 20 minutes by boat.

We can go together,

and you can see what we do.

Did I tell you I patented

a telescopic pillar system to build it?

You'd love it.

Are you coming?

Your mom has a nap after lunch,

we'd better not.

Okay.

Maybe another time.

Aren't your folks coming?

My mom needs a rest after lunch.

Don't take it personally.

It's hard for them to understand

what we're doing.

Mr. Rosa, right?

We're about to leave. We're in a hurry.

Yes, that's me.

You need to talk to

our foreign relations representative.

Mr. Rosa, we need to talk to you.

-I was just saying that you need to--

-That's okay.

Let's go.

Meet me at the boat. I'll be right back.

Mr. Rosa, do you know who we are?

-Funeral service?

-We're from the Secret Service.

I know. It was a joke.

Haven't we met before?

I've spent about 40 hours on the island.

I remember,

you're the one who lost his pinkie.

Not really.

I didn't actually bet my pinkie.

It was a memorable game!

You must immediately cease

all activities on the island.

Which activities?

Our report suggests

that you have a bar managed by a minor,

and you host card games.

So what?

Aren't those men

playing cards in a bar too?

Why can't we do it?

It's different what happens here

under the watchful eye of the authorities.

Oh, I see! It's about "the watchful eye."

Listen, Giorgio,

what the major is trying to say

is that we appreciate

your sociological experiment,

but as with all experiments,

it must end now.

What must end?

Beach clubs permits are being renewed

at the end of the month.

And the major here has power of attorney.

See this briefcase?

It contains papers

which guarantee that you,

who's sitting here owning nothing,

end up with two beach clubs

of your choice.

It'd set you up

for the next three generations.

You said it yourself,

you do the same things there,

bar, card games…

You just do it here and not on the sea.

What's the difference?

None, except for the permits

we'll give you.

You might say,

"I don't pay goddamn taxes there."

Do you think anyone does here?

Come on, Giorgio.

What the hell…

This is serious, you know!

I'm trying to save your goddamn island!

Attention, please, everyone.

Mr. President, may I say it?

As you wish.

Okay. As you know, tonight,

we kept the island to ourselves

for a special Council of Ministers,

as special as the news

I'm about to give you.

Our President, Giorgio Rosa,

has finally agreed,

that from tomorrow the island

will officially be able to grant

citizenship to all applicants.

What are you clapping for?

That wasn't the news. Stop!

That wasn't the news,

just an official communication.

The real news is

that we have printed the first passport,

and we have agreed to assign it

to the one among us

who has never owned one. So…

Rudy, this is for you.

Now, this calls for a round of applause.

Come on, guys!

-Well done, Neumann!

-GIve me a hug.

We're hoping that

with the increased military presence,

things will settle.

We're hoping

to regain control of the universities,

since there's only one left.

I know. These are hard times.

But you shouldn't worry,

you're doing a great job,

and we're all very happy here.

Thank you, Emanuele.

Well, Giovanni,

I'll see you again in two weeks, as usual.

-Sure.

-Try to rest a little.

You're looking a little gray.

I could really do with a vacation.

Don't forget this.

Excuse me, Giovanni,

since you're here,

there's something I'd like to mention.

Especially considering the exposure

that it's getting in the tabloids.

ROSE ISLAND:

A SMALL STATE OFF RIMINI

Look, Emanuele, we're working on it.

I'm sure you are, but times have changed.

I used to be able to filter the news,

but now our Holy Father

wants to be informed first-hand.

He reads all the papers

first thing in the morning.

I caught this one

and removed it from the stack,

but had he seen this,

it would've gotten ugly.

Giovanni,

this is a bare ass.

Do you get it, Giovanni,

an ass in the newspaper.

You tell me if you think this is okay.

Of course not, but my dear Emanuele,

we don't really want

to start a case about an ass.

It's not about the ass itself,

which I think is well-proportioned, nice,

but what the ass represents.

An ass on an island where,

from what I gather,

you can do what you want.

Do you get it, Giovanni?

An ass and everything you want.

Giovanni,

with an ass, can you do anything you want?

No. I'll tell you. You can't.

Otherwise, this country

would be out of our control.

Sure.

The truth is,

they're outside our territorial waters.

-So outside of our jurisdiction.

-Like I said, it's just a small issue.

Where's Franco?

What the hell are these?

My dear Giovanni, I wasn't expecting you.

Had you told me,

we could have met at the cafe.

It's so messy here.

-What the hell are these letters?

-Nothing…

Requests to relinquish

Italian nationality, Mr. President,

in favor of Rose Island.

No, not really.

I mean, it doesn't work like that.

They can't just write in

and we cancel their citizenship.

It's not a subscription to

Famiglia Cristiana that you just cancel.

And most of the letters

are written in such poor Italian!

-Don't waste--

-How many are there?

About 300. The German Consulate called,

and they've received about 100,

France 30, and the US four.

Just four in the States, Giovanni.

They don't give a damn about them.

They flopped over there.

Franco, I've had enough of this sh*t.

The letters, parliamentary interrogations,

asses that can't do what they want.

-Asses what?

-You have to fix this now.

Even if you have to swim there

with a screwdriver between your teeth

to unscrew that goddamn platform

bit by bit!

Franco, we've known

each other for 30 years,

but you've never seen me truly pissed off.

Tell me you understand.

I understand, Giovanni. I do.

Rosa!

Rosa!

It's Battistini.

He wants to talk to you.

Nothing. It's going to rain tomorrow too.

We have to start building the roof

for the second floor as soon as we can.

And then we have to extend the canopy.

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