Rose Island Page #5

---

I won't let you turn this place

into an illegal gambling den.

There's nothing illegal on this island.

You need to understand that!

Water-skiing is for rich people.

You can do it anywhere.

But poker's something

you can only do here.

-Because it's a crime in the real world!

-Correct! But not here.

That's why we built an island.

-Giorgio, back me up here.

-We built a disco.

We did what?

We built our little, free world,

on our happy island…

But what's all this for,

if they don't recognize us

as an independent state?

Who's "they"?

Italy, Europe, the other states. Who else?

I disagree with that.

Who cares if they recognize us or not?

If we wanted a state,

we'd have rules, and we don't want that.

If they don't recognize us,

we'll just be a disco

in the middle of the sea.

We already have everything.

We have currency, we have stamps,

we have a postal service.

The only thing missing…

is a government.

But we are the government.

I'll be the president.

Franca, the minister for economic affairs.

Pietro, surveillance and defense.

What's a surveillance ministry?

I said "surveillance and defense"

for a reason.

You're the caretaker,

you oversee rather than defend.

Rudy, secretary of state,

Maurizio, internal affairs.

-I'm not sure that's a good idea.

-Maurizio's right. It'll piss them off.

So what?

I feel like a minister.

I wonder how my folks will react.

I usually give them bad news.

How exactly are we doing this?

UNITED NATIONS HEADQUARTERS

COUNCIL OF MINISTERS

The idea is to increase

and strategically relocate

the military trucks in key spots

to send out a strong message.

Using the summertime to regain control

over the occupied universities.

Basically all of them, except one.

Only one left? Which one?

Luigi,

the military trucks again?

I know, Giovanni, but if you've noticed,

the students who went to lessons

and respected the teachers six months ago,

have suddenly turned into a mob

driven by hatred and violence.

Clearly, pollution is to blame,

excessive protein intake, and TV.

I happened to watch TV last night,

and it was all about dismemberment,

monsters, people copulating.

All this on the main channel.

Is that acceptable?

You must have watched The Odyssey.

The Odyssey?

Maybe. I fell asleep halfway through.

Okay, then…

let's go ahead with the outposts.

If there are no other urgent matters,

we'll update on Thursday.

Thank you.

Actually, Giovanni,

talking about young people,

there is one thing…

Forget it, we'll talk about it next time.

Don't worry.

Tell me, Franco.

We'll talk about it next time.

Don't worry, it's not important.

Even better.

Just tell us and we can go for lunch.

It's nothing…

Basically, what's happening is…

there's this guy,

with some friends in Rimini.

It's nothing really…

Five hundred meters

outside of territorial waters,

so just off Rimini.

What did he do?

He built an island,

and declared independence.

I didn't get that. Say it again.

It's nothing, Giovanni,

it's no big deal. I told you.

In fact, while telling you

and hearing myself saying it,

I actually realized

that it sounds more serious

than it really is.

Some guys in Rimini,

500 meters outside territorial waters,

built an island and declared independence.

Independence from whom?

From Italy, I believe. From everyone.

They're independent…

An island, though from what I gather,

it's more like a platform.

"From what I gather"?

Giovanni, please,

let's not make a drama out of nothing.

-And how did they build this platform?

-I don't know.

-And how long did it take?

-Giovanni--

-How long did it take?

-I don't know.

An adequate amount of time

necessary to build something like that.

Why are we just finding out about it?

Maybe because the local authority,

considering it's outside

territorial waters,

might have believed it wasn't their--

I'm sorry,

but how did you find out?

Well… this maybe is the only detail

that makes this seemingly

insignificant event, a little more serious

because basically, we were told by…

Well, the UN called us.

-The UN called us?

-That's why I didn't want to tell you.

Giovanni, we're making a big fuss,

that's what we're doing, about a prank--

I'm sorry, Franco, the UN called us,

and you say it's a prank!

Who's our man at the UN? Who's there?

Randelli.

Randelli died last year!

What's the name of the officer

who called you?

I don't think it was an officer, Giovanni.

Good. Maybe it was a secretary.

Secretary, yes, I mean…

not a secretary but the…

Secretary-General of the United Nations.

When did this happen?

Two days ago.

What the hell have you been doing

for two days?

I immediately sent out

two of our best intelligence officers.

Good. Where's their report?

We haven't heard from them…

for nearly 40 hours.

By law, in eight hours' time

we have to notify the families

by telegram.

Good morning, gentlemen. So…

-Tell me you found them.

-They're on the phone.

-They're alive then.

-Yes, I'd say so.

They'll regret they are.

Agent, I hope you have a valid explanation

for your disgraceful behavior.

-I cheated on my wife!

-Agent, pull yourself together.

The situation's taken a bad turn.

Please, don't tell her.

I love her so much!

-Wait!

-Minister, Agent Piazza here.

The island's inhabitants' top priority

is the custom of adding fruit to wine,

then drinking the wine…

Agent Piazza, it's called sangria.

In Spain, they've been doing it for ages.

Agent Piazza, I'm fairly sure

that you're talking to

an Italian minister while drunk!

It's the minister.

Return to Rome immediately

with a detailed report.

Or you will have to face a court-martial

with accusations of high treason.

After foreign affairs, onto lifestyle.

Or rather, we're still on foreign affairs

but we'll focus on the "life in style."

That fun play on words

is the perfect introduction

to what seems to have become

the main attraction on Rimini's shores,

Rose Island.

The founder, Giorgio Rosa,

talks about utopia and freedom.

But what is being hidden on the island?

Drugs?

Moral degeneration?

Gambling?

We talk to Franco Restivo,

Minister of Internal Affairs.

This so-called Rose Island,

absolutely cannot and should not

be considered as an independent state.

Is it true that the UN

has started an investigation

on the basis that there might be grounds

for a claim for independence?

No. That investigation

does not concern us.

The Italian State will absolutely

not tolerate a lawless platform

where the safety of our citizens

cannot be guaranteed.

They may be in international waters,

but they are Italian citizens,

and their safety is our main concern.

What's this?

Letters. Applications for citizenship.

The minister has unwillingly

put us on the map.

The requests come from all over the world!

Now everyone knows who we are.

And they want to become citizens

of Rose Island.

-God bless the president!

-Come on, get up.

-You're amazing!

-Thanks.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes