Rounders Page #4

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not gonna work.

Here's the play...

you're my new boyfriend,

you're looking for a regular game.

Really? Well, I'm not

much of a card player.

Bullshit. Worm tells me that's

precisely what you are.

My cut is 25 per cent.

- I see.

- Good. Come on.

Gentlemen.

- This is my boyfriend Michael.

- [Group] Hello, Michael.

[Barbara]

Be nice to him.

- Leave him enough money

to buy me breakfast.

- [Laughter]

- Good luck.

- Thanks, sweetie.

Here, why don't you

pull up a chair.

- Okay, this one's Chicago.

- You know Chicago?

- Uh, remind me.

- Stud game.

High spade in the hole

wins half the pot.

Okay, well,

deal me in, I guess.

- That's you.

- Oh, thanks.

Okay.

- That's two on you, Murph.

- Oh, yeah. Sorry.

- I'm in.

- I'm gonna make it five.

Hey, big spender.

[Mike Narrating]

Worm and I fall into our old rhythm

like Clyde Frazier and Pearl Monroe.

We bring out all the old school tricks,

stuff that would

never play in the city...

signalling, chip placing,

trapping.

- We even run the old best hand play.

- Raise.

I can probably crack the game

just as quickly straight up,

but there's no risk

in this room.

Now, some people might look down on

Worm's mechanics, call it immoral.

But as Canada Bill Jones said, "It's

immoral to let a sucker keep his money."

Like they teach you

in One-L...

caveat emptor, pal.

- I got the boat, queens over.

- [Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

He asked you if that stung, Birch.

[Mike Narrating]

Worm really has become an artist, too.

Discard culls, pickup culls,

overhand run ups, the Double Duke...

His technique is flawless.

But his judgment is a little off.

A few times, I have to fold the case

on him, just so it won't be obvious.

Still, he plays the part

of the loser to perfection.

Flush.

I got the full house.

I got the queens over the aces.

Ahh, f***!

You know what?

- F*** you and your never-ending

string of boats, okay?

- Hey.

Well, my Uncle Les says when the

money's gone, it's time to move on,

so enjoy it,

you secret handshaking a**holes.

Murph! Hey, come back any time.

Your money's always good here.

- [Door Closes]

- Good night, Mike. See you next time.

You guys, uh,

wanna keep playing?

How'd we do?

Oh, beautiful.

F***in' a**holes,

they deserved it.

All right, $300,

that's your cut.

- Thank you very much, boys.

- Hey, you were great. Great.

- When can we do this again?

- No, no, it was a one-time thing for me.

- Just because.

- Forget it.

- Uh, two weeks.

- Two weeks? Okay. Okay.

- Hey, thanks a lot. Yeah.

- [Chuckles]

Hey, I had to try, right?

Bye.

Hey, how'd you know

I was coming back?

That's easy.

Who's your favorite actor?

Clint Eastwood. The Outlaw Josey Wales,

man. The Man with No Name.

He always doubles back

for a friend.

[Worm] Hey, we made good time.

Wanna get breakfast?

[Mike] No, I gotta get home. If she

hasn't already changed the locks on me.

Just do me a favor.

Give me five minutes.

Get me

straightened out.

This may not look like Teddy's place,

but it ain't the Ivy Leagues either.

So don't f*** around.

You gotta play on your belly.

All right.

No problem.

Hey, you know I have no problem

with the way you help yourself,

but these guys

are fast company.

- They'll spot every move.

- Tough customers, huh?

- Yeah. I'm serious.

- All right.

- You won't just get

a finger up your spine.

- Okay, I hear ya.

- I'm playing straight.

- [Buzzes]

Michael McDermott.

- How you doin', Mikey?

- Good, how you doin'?

Good. You know, um,

the computer tried

to delete you last week.

- Oh, yeah?

- But I knew you'd be back.

Oh, no, I'm not back,

I just...

- It's good to see you.

- Good to see you, too.

Um, this is Les Murphy.

He's like my brother.

Call me Worm.

- [Phone Rings]

- Hey. Don't wiggle away.

Hey, what's she

wearing the button for?

They're wired right into the precinct.

They got 'em on the payroll.

- What are they playing?

- Uh, 20-40 forced rotation.

It's the only game going

right now.

Is that Fat Greggie sitting 20-40?

The game's that soft?

Yeah. It's a real live game.

So, you guys gonna play?

- No.

- Hell, yeah, I'm gonna play.

- Oh, come on, you're not

gonna walk away from this.

- Not gonna happen.

Mike, we could cut

this room up in an hour.

All right, run along, then.

Say hi to her for me.

- Me, too.

- I will. Take care of him.

Jesus. What a f***in' waste.

Do you believe that?

She's really got him by the balls.

- That's not so bad, is it?

- Depends on the grip.

- Come on, give me $2,000.

- On the finger?

You heard Mike.

He's good for it. Come on.

Look, I'm gonna triple that

in half an hour, princess. Let's go.

Okay.

[Keys Jingling,

Door Opening]

Hey.

Reunion run a little late?

I was gonna call,

but I didn't want to wake you up.

It's okay.

I wasn't sleeping.

Well, why don't you change

and we'll get a cab.

Um, why don't you just go ahead,

and I'm gonna jump in the shower.

And if I miss a little bit

of the Mulligan meeting,

just cover for me, all right?

Hey.

At least give me a story.

You know, I mean...

I mean, tell me you were

out drinking till you threw up.

Tell me you were getting

lap dances over at Scores.

- I don't care, just give me something.

- I was entertaining Worm.

- Uh-huh.

- The least I can do for the guy.

- So, you were nowhere near a card game.

- Sweetie.

What?

I'm asking you a question.

- I'm just...

- No. I was nowhere near a card game.

All right?

All right.

I'll wait for you.

I mean, the key is a seamless

passing of the baton among the team.

I think the most important thing

is to be respectful to

the judges but not obsequious.

Now, wait a minute.

Make sure to be deferential.

Gene Marinacci won't buy

deferential.

Oh, it's Gene, is it?

Well, I knew there was a reason

why you were lead counsel,

and it's got nothing to do

with your punctuality.

Sorry.

I couldn't find a cab.

Anyway, when you make

the opening remarks, make sure

you stick to the fact pattern.

And use the right cites.

Use book cites, not Lexis.

Hi, Jo.

- Long time.

- Knish. How are you?

The same.

I don't mean to interrupt

you future magistrates and noblemen,

but l, uh,

I need a word.

- Um...

- It's important.

Okay. Excuse me.

Sorry.

- I'll act as lead counsel.

- It's all right, Kelly.

We were gonna

take a break anyway.

Coffee time.

The guy's a cheat.

He always has been.

Right now, he's over at Chesterfield's,

ruining your reputation...

with every lousy second

he deals.

Sh*t. I told him.

Did anybody else see him?

Nobody saw... I heard it.

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