Rounders Page #4

---

caveat emptor, pal.

- I got the boat, queens over.

- [Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

He asked you if that stung, Birch.

[Mike Narrating]

Worm really has become an artist, too.

Discard culls, pickup culls,

overhand run ups, the Double Duke...

His technique is flawless.

But his judgment is a little off.

A few times, I have to fold the case

on him, just so it won't be obvious.

Still, he plays the part

of the loser to perfection.

Flush.

I got the full house.

I got the queens over the aces.

Ahh, f***!

You know what?

- F*** you and your never-ending

string of boats, okay?

- Hey.

Well, my Uncle Les says when the

money's gone, it's time to move on,

so enjoy it,

you secret handshaking a**holes.

Murph! Hey, come back any time.

Your money's always good here.

- [Door Closes]

- Good night, Mike. See you next time.

You guys, uh,

wanna keep playing?

How'd we do?

Oh, beautiful.

F***in' a**holes,

they deserved it.

All right, $300,

that's your cut.

- Thank you very much, boys.

- Hey, you were great. Great.

- When can we do this again?

- No, no, it was a one-time thing for me.

- Just because.

- Forget it.

- Uh, two weeks.

- Two weeks? Okay. Okay.

- Hey, thanks a lot. Yeah.

- [Chuckles]

Hey, I had to try, right?

Bye.

Hey, how'd you know

I was coming back?

That's easy.

Who's your favorite actor?

Clint Eastwood. The Outlaw Josey Wales,

man. The Man with No Name.

He always doubles back

for a friend.

[Worm] Hey, we made good time.

Wanna get breakfast?

[Mike] No, I gotta get home. If she

hasn't already changed the locks on me.

Just do me a favor.

Give me five minutes.

Get me

straightened out.

This may not look like Teddy's place,

but it ain't the Ivy Leagues either.

So don't f*** around.

You gotta play on your belly.

All right.

No problem.

Hey, you know I have no problem

with the way you help yourself,

but these guys

are fast company.

- They'll spot every move.

- Tough customers, huh?

- Yeah. I'm serious.

- All right.

- You won't just get

a finger up your spine.

- Okay, I hear ya.

- I'm playing straight.

- [Buzzes]

Michael McDermott.

- How you doin', Mikey?

- Good, how you doin'?

Good. You know, um,

the computer tried

to delete you last week.

- Oh, yeah?

- But I knew you'd be back.

Oh, no, I'm not back,

I just...

- It's good to see you.

- Good to see you, too.

Um, this is Les Murphy.

He's like my brother.

Call me Worm.

- [Phone Rings]

- Hey. Don't wiggle away.

Hey, what's she

wearing the button for?

They're wired right into the precinct.

They got 'em on the payroll.

- What are they playing?

- Uh, 20-40 forced rotation.

It's the only game going

right now.

Is that Fat Greggie sitting 20-40?

The game's that soft?

Yeah. It's a real live game.

So, you guys gonna play?

- No.

- Hell, yeah, I'm gonna play.

- Oh, come on, you're not

gonna walk away from this.

- Not gonna happen.

Mike, we could cut

this room up in an hour.

All right, run along, then.

Say hi to her for me.

- Me, too.

- I will. Take care of him.

Jesus. What a f***in' waste.

Do you believe that?

She's really got him by the balls.

- That's not so bad, is it?

- Depends on the grip.

- Come on, give me $2,000.

- On the finger?

You heard Mike.

He's good for it. Come on.

Look, I'm gonna triple that

in half an hour, princess. Let's go.

Okay.

[Keys Jingling,

Door Opening]

Hey.

Reunion run a little late?

I was gonna call,

but I didn't want to wake you up.

It's okay.

I wasn't sleeping.

Well, why don't you change

and we'll get a cab.

Um, why don't you just go ahead,

and I'm gonna jump in the shower.

And if I miss a little bit

of the Mulligan meeting,

just cover for me, all right?

Hey.

At least give me a story.

You know, I mean...

I mean, tell me you were

out drinking till you threw up.

Tell me you were getting

lap dances over at Scores.

- I don't care, just give me something.

- I was entertaining Worm.

- Uh-huh.

- The least I can do for the guy.

- So, you were nowhere near a card game.

- Sweetie.

What?

I'm asking you a question.

- I'm just...

- No. I was nowhere near a card game.

All right?

All right.

I'll wait for you.

I mean, the key is a seamless

passing of the baton among the team.

I think the most important thing

is to be respectful to

the judges but not obsequious.

Now, wait a minute.

Make sure to be deferential.

Gene Marinacci won't buy

deferential.

Oh, it's Gene, is it?

Well, I knew there was a reason

why you were lead counsel,

and it's got nothing to do

with your punctuality.

Sorry.

I couldn't find a cab.

Anyway, when you make

the opening remarks, make sure

you stick to the fact pattern.

And use the right cites.

Use book cites, not Lexis.

Hi, Jo.

- Long time.

- Knish. How are you?

The same.

I don't mean to interrupt

you future magistrates and noblemen,

but l, uh,

I need a word.

- Um...

- It's important.

Okay. Excuse me.

Sorry.

- I'll act as lead counsel.

- It's all right, Kelly.

We were gonna

take a break anyway.

Coffee time.

The guy's a cheat.

He always has been.

Right now, he's over at Chesterfield's,

ruining your reputation...

with every lousy second

he deals.

Sh*t. I told him.

Did anybody else see him?

Nobody saw... I heard it.

Snapping sound gave it away.

I didn't know him,

I might not have noticed.

I turn around, and I see him

with the mechanic's grip, I know.

- You want one?

- Did you give him the office?

I tried to warn him, but

he looked right through me.

- All right, I'll go get him.

- No, no, no. He's okay now.

Most of those Georges are at the tail

end of a 36-hour session.

They can't see straight.

Come on, I'll buy you a cup of coffee.

But if he's still there

when Roman and Maurice start their game,

he's gonna wish he was

still inside.

I'm gonna go get him.

[Mike Narrating]

Amarillo Slim, the greatest

proposition gambler of all time,

held to his father's maxim...

"You can shear a sheep many times,

but skin him only once."

Gotta bet my jacks.

This is a lesson

Worm's never bothered to learn.

- [Speaking Russian]

- Hey, guys.

English only at the table,

no Russian.

- What are you talking about?

- What am I talking about?

If you want to see

this seventh card, you're gonna

stop speaking f***in' Sputnik.

- Oh, da, motherf***er.

- You're worried we might work together.

I'm sure you're just talking

about perogies...

and snow and sh*t, but let's

cut it out, all right?

There's the river,

down and dirty.

I think you got that ace,

Roman, but I'm gonna pay for it.

Okay, well,

I got the jacks. Come on.

- Ace.

- Oh, you got it.

- And six.

Wow, two pair.

But I got sevens, too, though.

- With my jacks.

- Motherf***er, slow rolling me

like that.

You said just jacks.

But you made me for the sevens,

Maurice. You're a player.

- F***!

- Hey, come on! Don't be a f***in' baby.

- Hey, Maurice.

- [Together] Hey.

Hey, Mike, you here to play?

Come on, we need some new blood.

They're putting a f***ing bracelet

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote