Ruby Sparks Page #4

Remember what you told me

when you met Susie?

I certainly didn't pretend I invented her.

You said that she was your dream girl.

That's what happened to me.

Heh-heh-heh.

Harry, don't laugh at me.

Has it occurred to you

that she might be an imposter?

Some girl wanted to get close to you,

somehow got her hands on what you wrote.

You're the only one

who's read my manuscript.

So unless you're playing some joke...

Okay, okay, okay.

Let's say you created this person.

Everything you wrote about her came true.

Even the smallest things?

Yes.

Have you tried writing more?

No.

Write something about her.

Why? She's perfect.

Write something about her,

see if it comes true.

If it does, then you're right

and this is a f***ing miracle.

And if nothing happens...

...maybe we go to the police.

Don't call...

Just go in there and act normal. Go up.

You act normal.

I'm not gonna say...

We're gonna go upstairs

and check on something, uh, online.

Were you guys

getting stoned out there?

Okay, here's where I left off.

It has to be something

we notice right away, okay?

Something obvious.

What she's wearing?

Yes. Yes.

What she's wearing.

What was she wearing?

Was it pink?

I got it.

Okay. Okay.

Write that she speaks fluent French.

Yeah, just put it down.

I'll do it.

I... Shh.

I'll be right back. I have to do something.

No, wait, hold it.

Calvin.

Bottle of vino.

Great. Your brother looks like

he could use a drink.

I have to say,

that's the best meat loaf I've ever had.

Thank you.

It's a family recipe.

I can't really take credit.

So your... Your family's in Ohio?

Yeah. Actually, my parents died

when I was a baby in an accident...

...and I got moved around a lot.

I guess the habit stuck.

I've lived in nine cities in six years, so...

Nine?

Yeah.

Wow, that's a lot of cities.

I'm so sorry. I'm totally

monopolizing this conversation.

No. This is fascinating.

Please, keep going. Please.

What nice boys.

Your mom must be so proud.

It's hard to raise a decent guy.

Oh, I think a person would have to do

something pretty amazing...

...to produce a good woman.

Okay. Great.

Uh, you guys like each other.

I think Harry has to go now.

Right, buddy?

He can be such a control freak, right?

- I'll be right back.

- Good night.

See you soon, I hope.

Hey. So?

Get in the car.

What?

Get in the car.

Why? What?

That was insane!

Harry...

This is insane.

You manifested a woman with your mind.

Mom's gonna f***ing freak.

Whoa, you can't tell Mom.

Why not? She loves all this New Age sh*t.

Seriously...

...you can't tell anybody.

Not Mom, not Susie. No one.

This is amazing. How can I not tell?

They'll think she's a freak.

We're gonna pretend she's your girlfriend?

She is my girlfriend.

Seriously?

Why not?

Your girlfriend.

Stranger things have happened.

I don't think so.

I think this is pretty much the strangest

thing that's ever happened, ever.

You gonna marry her?

Have kids with her?

I don't know.

But wouldn't that be like incest?

Or mind-cest?

I don't care.

I love her.

Please don't ruin this for me.

Promise me, no one.

Fine.

Thank you.

Oh, hey, so you can,

like, change her.

I guess.

You could, like, tweak things

if you wanted.

Tweak? What do you mean?

I don't know, like anything.

Big tits, long legs...

I like her little legs.

Know how many times I wanted a button...

...to make Susie stop doing

all the annoying sh*t she does?

I mean, you could get blow jobs

whenever you wanted.

Ruby loves giving blow jobs.

Now, but what about

in a couple months or days?

Women are mysterious creatures.

I still look at Susie like:

"Who are you? Who are you?"

I know Ruby, Harry. I wrote her.

So you can make her,

like, do anything.

For men everywhere...

...tell me you're not gonna

let that go to waste.

I will never write about her again.

Calvin?

Hey.

So did he like me?

He loved you.

Stop, stop, stop.

Hey, if it's my mom, please don't...

Hello?

Hello, is anyone there? I don't...

Hi, Mom.

Oh, hi, sweetie. Hi.

I wasn't sure you were there.

What do you want, Mom?

I was wondering if

you're gonna make it up this weekend.

I told you we can't this weekend.

We're busy.

Oh, with what?

Busy with what?

Your brother says

you haven't been writing.

He doesn't know.

You've been with this girl for months.

I haven't even met her.

I'm beginning to think she doesn't exist.

What? No. I mean, yes.

So when can I meet her?

Soon.

Next weekend?

Harry and Susie will be here.

Come on, please?

Look, we have plans.

I'm gonna call you later, okay?

I'm driving.

Why can't we go to Big Sur?

Uh, well, we'd have to find someone

to watch Scotty.

We could take him with us.

I don't know. Mort...

Their house is weird.

You don't want me

to meet your mom.

Of course,

I want you to meet my mom.

I'll invite her down for Christmas, okay?

Hey, you know that coffee shop

on Dwyer? The new one?

Yes.

I was thinking maybe

I could try to get a job there.

Well, I told you, I'm happy

to support you while you paint.

Honey, I'm sort of tired.

Okay.

Let's turn out the light, then.

It's just, maybe if I wasn't around,

you could get more writing done.

Weren't you working on something

when we first met?

Calvin?

What are you doing?

Just packing for Big Sur.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow, look at this place.

All right, this is it.

You asked for it.

You have nothing

to worry about.

Look, why don't we stay

somewhere else tonight?

Just you and me. There's a thousand

bed-and-breakfasts around.

Honey, it's gonna be great.

It could be romantic.

Finally.

Hi.

You're here!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Okay.

Hi, Scotty.

Hi. Come on. Come on, Scotty.

- Okay.

Hi.

Hello. Hi.

Hi. I'm Ruby.

Hi, Ruby.

Hi.

Wow, your garden is so amazing.

All the plants have medicinal purposes.

- Medicinal.

- Yeah.

That is very cool.

Whoa.

This is incredible.

Yeah.

He started it in 1980

and he just keeps adding to it.

It's his masterpiece.

Mort built all of this?

Yeah.

Can you believe it?

Yes, I can.

And this is where we live.

Oh, my God.

This is so beautiful.

Wow.

I feel like I'm in some kind of temple.

Oh, my God,

I can't believe you said that.

Calvin, she is so intuitive.

What? What? What?

Mort got this wood from Amish land.

It was blessed.

And the bricks come from an old

Catholic school that was torn down.

That's incredible.

Stairway, bedroom.

That's where Harry will sleep.

This is my study. Don't go in there.

I'm re-alphabetizing.

And this is where you'll be sleeping.

Oh, it's like a little nest.

Uh, Mom, we're in here?

There are no doors.

No one's interested

in your business, honey.

Well, this is the bathroom.

We have our own well.

This is Mort's workshop!

He makes driftwood furniture!

Mort!

Mort, honey, they're here!

Hey!

Welcome!

That's a good boy, good boy.

He is such a good boy.

So, Ruby...

...did you go to art school?

No, I didn't train formally.

I just sort of picked things up

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