Ruby Sparks Page #3

as soon as possible. Thank you.

Ruby?

Hey.

Um...

I thought you might be hungry,

so I'm making you some eggs.

Mm.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

Nothing, uh...

Are these, by any chance, yours?

Yeah, of course, they are.

Who else would they belong to?

Oh, my God.

Are you seeing someone else?

Oh, no.

No, no, no, I'm not...

I'm not seeing anyone

other than you.

Will you excuse me?

Remember how Dad used

to say I had an overactive imagination?

Are you saying Ruby is in your house?

I started seeing her this morning.

It's like that movie Harvey,

except she's not a giant rabbit.

It's not like she knows

she's imaginary, either.

She thinks we're in the relationship

in my book.

It is freaking me out.

I'm in the middle of a meeting.

But this is an emergency.

I may be losing my mind.

Just give me one sec. Just...

Harry. Harry.

There's no possible way

that Ruby's in your house...

...because she's not a real person.

I know objectively she is not real,

but I'm telling you...

...I can see her, I can smell her.

When she touched me, I could feel it.

She's making eggs in my kitchen.

Actual eggs.

That's great.

Calvin, I am at work.

I'm in the middle of a very important meeting.

I cannot deal with your sh*t right now.

Listen to me.

I want you to leave the house...

...see a friend. A friend

who can't see your imaginary friend.

If this is still an issue tonight,

we'll talk, okay?

Okay. I'll phone a friend.

Sorry about that, I was...

Kobe's having a barbecue this weekend.

You got plans this weekend?

It's Calvin.

Weir-Fields. From high school.

Yeah, the writer.

I sat next to you in Spanish class.

Uh, actually, I gotta go.

Where are you going?

Out.

Where?

To the store.

What for?

To get some stuff.

Can I come?

No.

Why not?

Because.

Please?

No.

Please?

- Point-nine KCRW.

Up next, tickets for KCRW members.

If you haven't won anything from us

in the last 90 days...

I hear they're doing

a zombie film festival at the cemetery.

You wanna go? We could do a shot

every time someone gets bitten.

Okay. Bye.

Bye? Where are you going?

Nowhere.

Caf Figaro. I've got this friend.

It won't take long.

What am I supposed to do?

Stay here. Enjoy the shops.

I'll be back soon.

When I didn't hear from you

right away...

...I figured you had lost my number

or something.

At least that's what my roommate said

must have happened.

Oh, no, I didn't lose your number.

Uh, actually the, uh, night I met you...

...I started writing something,

so that's been really consuming.

The night you met me?

Am I?

Never mind. Ha, ha. Never mind.

Um, am I in it?

I can't really talk about it.

Right, of course.

But if I am, like, when it comes out

in stores and stuff...

...will you tell me which character I am?

You're not in it.

Right, but if I am?

I will let you know.

Okay. Awesome. Awesome.

So, um, do you do this a lot?

Do what?

Meet up in the middle of the day for sex.

No. No, that's not...

I just wanted someone to talk to.

Oh.

Right. Right.

Well, men never

just wanna talk to women.

I do.

If you say so.

Uh, heh, are you even legal?

I mean, not to drink, but, yeah.

Of course. Do you, um...?

Do you wanna go someplace?

Hi.

Sorry, what?

Do you wanna go to my place?

Hi.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

What's going on?

Am I interrupting?

I thought I heard something.

Do you wanna get out of here?

- Calvin.

Do you know this girl?

Yeah. Hi, I'm Ruby, Calvin's girlfriend.

I don't think we've met.

Uh, no.

Um, I'm Mabel. I was just going.

You can see her?

Yeah, she can see me.

I can see her.

You can see her.

Let's not make this worse, all right?

Sorry, I didn't know.

Did Harry put you up to this?

What, your brother is in on this?

What?

Ruby, it was very nice meeting you.

Calvin, have fun writing.

Who the f*** was that?

Can you see her?

Calvin, who was that?

Can I see her?

Can he see me? What are you...? Stop.

What's wrong with you, man?

She's real.

Oh, no. Ruby!

Ruby! Ruby.

Get away from me!

Ruby! Ruby!

Get away! Get away!

Ruby!

Ruby, please, listen to me.

Let go!

Stop!

Listen to me. Calm down. Ruby.

Get away from me!

- Hey, you okay?

You want me to call the police?

No. Thank you.

He's just being a complete a**hole.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Thank you, I'm fine.

Ruby.

You stay away.

God, I should have known.

You've been acting like such a freak... Stop!

Let go of me!

Put me down!

Put me down or I'm gonna scream!

Ruby.

Stop it!

Put me down!

Ruby?

Oh, my God, stop! Ow!

Shh! Stop it. Oh, do not bite.

Do not bite.

Listen to me. Shh, shh.

There is a lot that is new here,

more than I can tell you.

I'm having trouble processing it all,

okay?

Then talk to me about it.

Don't go on a date with another girl.

I wasn't on a date.

What is going on with you?

I don't know. I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm just having trouble...

...wrapping my head

around the reality of this situation.

That you're here.

That you're real.

It all seems pretty incredible.

What?

Kiss me, stupid.

Holy sh*t.

Mm.

Look, I know it's a lot to take in,

but you have to believe me.

She's real.

I don't know how or why...

...but she's here and she's real.

And I like it.

"Real" as in other people can see her.

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

We've been to restaurants.

We take Scotty for walks in the park.

People talk to her. She's very friendly.

That's impossible.

It's apparently not.

What does Dr. Rosenthal say?

Are you f***ing serious?

People have shrinks

for when they start seeing things.

I'm not seeing things.

Calvin, call him.

I can't.

I told him when she was a character.

He won't understand.

Call him or I'm telling Mom.

He'll think I'm crazy.

You might be crazy.

The situation is crazy.

I am not.

Do you hear...? Hi.

Do you hear yourself? Do you?

Do you hear yourself? Really?

There's no way that you're sleeping

with a girl that you made up.

Hey, so, uh, she doesn't know

that I wrote her...

...so don't say anything

about the manuscript, okay?

Yeah, okay.

Hi, Ruby. Great to meet you.

Can we call the doctor now?

Harry.

- Calvin!

Oof! Hey.

What took you so long?

Hey, Ruby, this is my brother, Harry.

Hey.

Harry. Hi.

Hi.

Hi. It's great to meet you.

Hi.

I've heard so much about you

from Calvin.

You're Ruby.

You're Harry.

The painter from Dayton, Ohio.

Yep.

Yep.

Are you staying for supper?

I'm making meat loaf.

She's an amazing cook.

Yeah. Can I talk to you a second?

Outside?

Okay.

What did you do? Hire some actress?

Craigslist? This isn't funny.

I told you, she just appeared.

You're a writer, not Ricky Jay.

I know that.

There's gotta be some logical explanation.

Love isn't logical.

No, but you know what is?

Physics. Or metaphysics.

People don't appear out of thin air.

She did.

How?

I don't know how.

It's love. It's magic.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Calling your doctor.

Don't.

Harry. Harry.

Give me that.

We might... Give me the phone.

Harry, listen to me, please.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes