Ruin Me Page #2

Maybe.

Why?

You might just help us

win this thing.

-Can this be right?

-It has to be.

There hasn't been

another control point.

What if we missed it?

You can double back

if you want,

but I'm not giving up

my chance to win.

I think we're all in it

together, man.

How do you know?

What are we looking for?

I think we'll know it

when we get there?

Some place we can

spend the night.

Sh*t.

-Do you guys hear something?

-Seriously?

Shh, shh!

Guys, the glowsticks!

Hey, guys, check me out,

check me out.

I see dead people.

This way!

Come on, come on!

I don't think they're

following us anymore!

Then can we

stop running? Please?

Over here!

I see a light!

Not f***ing bad.

It was almost scary.

Uh, I call that one.

I am not sharing

with Mute Witness.

Aw, yes.

Hey, look at this!

Here.

Ah, we're good.

Okay.

My fellow horror enthusiasts,

a toast to Slasher Sleepout!

Slasher Sleepout!

May I?

Yeah.

-Hmm.

-What?

It's a micro-receiver.

So we can get HBO Go

on that thing?

They controlled it.

That's why it turned off

at just the right moment.

-Or just the wrong moment.

-Can you fix it?

I could if I had

a soldering iron.

Why would

you want to anyway?

So we have

a working flashlight.It's not part of the game.

Pitch, favorite

horror movie.

"Chaos."

Eww, no, that's the one

where Sage Stallone cuts

the girl's nipple off

and makes her eat it.

Ugh.

Tim, get that image

out of my head please.

Favorite horror movie.

Um...

"Dead Ringers."Cronenburg, classy.

It's okay.

We're allowed to play.

Um, Alex.

Favorite horror movie.

Oh, I don't really

watch horror films.

And yet you're here,

at the Ultimate Horror

Movie Experience.

She's a really good

girlfriend.

Favorite not

horror movie then.

"Dirty Dancing."

Now that's horrifying.

The sh*t that we watch,

it's twisted, yeah,

but everyone knows

it's completely fake.

Movies like that,

those are insidious.

"Insidious"!

Love that movie!

People watch these

romantic movies

and they think that's

how life's supposed to be.

It's such bullshit.

You really think

we're all that naive?

Yeah, I do.

I think I'm ready

to go to bed.

Maybe we shouldn't sleep.

You know?

There could be more show.

Wait up for the Boogeyman?We should do something fun.

Like what?

I don't know...

play Truth or Dare?

Or we could skip

the boring part,

and I can just

get naked now.

I don't think it's

that kind of crowd.

Maybe you should follow him.

Really?

Really.

You can come visit me

in the doghouse later.

Woof.

I'm out.

This is a really fun crew.

Good night, Larry.

Good night.

That's some pretty loud

make-up sex

our friends are having.

Are they our friends?

How come we never

have make-up sex?

'Cause we never really fight,

I guess?

13 months together, not

a single knock-down drag-out.

We must be doing

something right.

Or we're just really good

at suppressing our feelings.

Why would you say that?

I was just joking.

What's the grain of truth?

There is none.

It was a joke.

If something was wrong

you would tell me, right?

Of course.

You know I love you, and

I just want you to be happy.

Yeah.

Yes, I love you too,

but sometimes I just --

Anytime someone says "but,"

you can ignore what

they said right before it.

Pbht.

Okay. I love you.

And sometimes it's hard for me

to express my feelings.

Do that again.

Do what?

Pbht.

Why?

Just do it.

Pbht --

No.

No, what?

Stop.

I'm not doing anything.

I'm not doing anything.

You know this has always

kind of been a fantasy of mine.

What has?

I don't know.

Sleeping bags, campfire in

the middle of the woods,

like in a horror movie.

And then a guy

in an old hockey mask

comes and impales us both?

Well, not that part,

obviously.

I mean, you do have

that condom.

Nothing, huh?

Sorry. It's been

a stressful day.

It's just weird with

the other tents right here.

Yeah.

I could do something

for you though.

You want to wet it

a little bit?

What about my sweaty

balls policy?

But I haven't even

been to the gym.

A five-hour car ride,

blindfolded van ride,

and a late night chase?

I think the balls

are sweaty.

My best offer.

I'll take it!

Please.

What was that?

Nothing.

Did you see that?No. It's a raccoon,

whatever.

What the f*** was that?

Ahh!What are you doing

in there?

How many of you

are out here?

You shouldn't be here.

-Are you coming?

-Are you crazy?

Nathan:
No, come on.

It's part of the show!

He's one of the guys

from the article.

You escaped.

-Escaped from what?

-Not you!

Whoa, whoa, you're doing

a bang-up job, detective.

Ready to tap out?

Uh, will this granola bar

help with our mission?

Larry, get the handcuffs.

Somebody's

feeling kinky, huh?

Just get them!

All right!

Somebody help me

get his arms.

I thought we weren't

supposed to touch them.

Oh! You're pretty!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay, okay, that's enough.

-F*** you!

-Whoa!

Uh, it's just a prop.What should I do?

I'll get the left,

you get the right.

Oww, f***!

Nathan!

Leave now!

They're coming for you!

Are you okay?No, it f***ing hurts!

Is this supposed

to be part of it?

No, right?

We all signed waivers.

Let me see.

Okay, it's not deep.

Screw this.

Aloha! Welcome to --No, no, no! Alex, no.

It's just -- it's not

a big deal, okay?

I overreacted.

He'll be okay.

-I'm a nurse.

-It's just weird.

Do you think

it was an accident?

Why do you keep

looking at me?

Aren't you supposed

to be an expert?

I got the handcuffs.

What'd I miss?

I'm crashing.

Hard.

I think I'm gonna

stay up a bit.

I'm fine, it's just,

I'm not ready for bed.

She's safe with me, Cap'n.

You've done these

before, right?

A few.

You ever seen anyone

get hurt?

Skinned knees, bug bites.

Not like that.

Are you scared?

Nah.

Think of it like

an amusement park ride.

How many times are they gonna

pull the same schtick?

Oh, no, the ride's broken,

we're all gonna die.

Ahh!

It's the oldest trick

in the book.

What happens when

the ride really breaks?

Look. The odds of dying

on a roller coaster

are 1 in 750 million.

That's a fact.

I looked it up once.

Uh, the odds of being

struck by lightning

while riding a roller coaster

are 1 in 750 billion.

Odds of mental patients

actually escaping next door

to a horror movie-themed

weekend?

Well...

You're not that lucky.

You mean

I'm not that unlucky.

Okay. That guy could be

a haunted house actor

or he could be

a deranged killer

who just happened to

wander into our campsite

at exactly the time we were

due for a good scare.

Besides, it's a little

obvious, don't you think?

I mean,

the real twist would be

if one of us was

an escaped mental patient.

Hell, it could be you.

Or you.

Or maybe we're all

escaped mental patients...

and none of this is real.

Alex? Stay with me!

Don't you f***ing leave me!

F***!

Alex?

Alex? Alex!

Alex, wake up.

What?

It was nothing.

How's your arm?

It seems okay.

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