Rumor Has It... Page #3

I don't know, I guess I feel that

when you... If you get married, that's it.

You know? You just have

a bunch of kids and...

You make it sound like

a death sentence.

- Well, it was for my mom.

- No, it wasn't.

Your mother did not get sick

from her wedding vows.

I don't know, I just, you know...

I just...

- You want more out of life.

- Yes.

Get in line, kid.

Hey, Mr. H. Seen Sarah?

No.

- What you doing?

- I make a toast.

- A little nervous, you know.

- Oh, you'll be fine.

I wish the girls' mother was here.

She always put me at ease.

- What would she do?

- Just give me a hug.

What the hell are you doing?

In fact, I think it's normal

for you to feel horrible...

...at a time like this.

Your mother did the same thing.

Before she married your father,

she was just...

In fact, she went MIA a week

before the wedding.

She did?

I should never drink this stuff

without a mixer.

Come on, introduce me

to the lucky guy.

- I'm freezing my nuts off out here.

- Wait. Mom went missing?

Well, she just took off to think.

- Took off where?

- I don't remember.

- Cabo San Lucas, maybe.

- Cabo. Why would she go to Cabo?

You don't think

there was somebody else?

No. She just went away.

For your father's sake, we never

discussed this at family dinners.

The point is, you shouldn't

let yourself worry about this thing.

If you don't wanna marry

the guy, don't. If you do, do.

If the marriage implodes, divorce.

You haven't lived till

you've been through one of those.

- Well, thank you, Grandma.

- Happy to help.

Oh, Jeff. This is my...

Katharine, my mother's mother.

Hello. You don't look like a lawyer.

Thanks. You don't look like

a grandmother.

You are a lawyer. Full of sh*t.

Playing the trombone.

There are certain moments in time...

...that stick with you forever,

no matter how senile you get.

For me, there's...

...June 25th, 1963.

The day I married Jocelyn.

And, of course,

the birth of both my daughters.

Then there's the day that Annie

accidentally ate a bug in one...

Well, your parents

didn't waste much time.

- What?

- They were married June 25th, 1963...

...you were born March 3rd, '64.

They didn't waste much time

getting pregnant.

You never did the math?

You were born eight months and

a week after they got married...

...which means either

you arrived early or...

...somebody slipped one past the goalie,

you know what I mean?

That's my Annie. One smile,

and the whole world melts.

- I have to admit...

- I don't... I don't think so.

- It was the '60s.

- It was the early '60s.

Your mom probably didn't even know she

was pregnant till after the honeymoon.

- Okay, you've gotta tell me.

- What?

Did Mom sleep with someone

before marrying Dad?

What? You've got to tell me.

What's the matter with you?

The Caldwells are hearing.

Did Mom have an affair in Cabo

or not?

- How could I possibly know?

- Because you know everything.

I would like to make a toast

to the happy couple.

To Annie and Scott.

Life is short...

...but marriage is long.

So drink up...

...and it'll make it go

a hell of a lot faster.

- Hi.

- I hope you're not thinking...

...of breaking

the Pasadena no-sex rule.

- Can I get in?

- You can always get in.

- What are you doing?

- Going over the indemnity provision...

...of this asset-transfer agreement,

and I was kind of getting turned on...

...so lucky for me,

a hot, single girl showed up.

- I just know that she did it.

- Did what? Whom?

My mom had an affair

before her marriage.

No, what if it's true?

If she had a fling and got pregnant...

...it explains everything. Why I have

nothing in common with my family...

...why I hate tennis,

why I'm not blonder.

- Am I overthinking this?

- You're not underthinking it.

- God, I'm losing my mind.

- No, baby, you're not losing your mind.

You're just having a pre-midlife crisis.

It's actually kind of cute.

It's charming.

- God, I wonder if my dad knows.

- Please...

I can't ask him. If he doesn't know,

it would kill him.

Please, Sarah.

I bet my Aunt Mitsy knows.

- There's an Aunt Mitsy?

- Yeah. She was my mom's best friend.

- I should go see her.

- You should.

First we should break the house rules.

Tomorrow I'm gonna go see

my Aunt Mitsy.

Hair of the dog.

So, Aunt Mitsy,

apparently Mom disappeared...

...a week before the wedding

to think.

Gosh, I don't remember that.

Do you remember any men she may

have been associated with then?

You make this sound

like a police investigation.

"No, officer. The only man your mom

ever had eyes for was your father."

And Beau Burroughs.

Who?

Beau Burroughs.

He was a year ahead of us in prep.

Your mother and I

were just gaga for him.

You wanna see a picture?

That's your mom

and me in Our Town.

Or The Importance of Being Earnest.

I can't tell.

She was a good actress.

Shame she gave it up.

"All women become like their mothers.

That is their tragedy.

No man does. That's his."

- So Beau Burroughs?

- Oh, right.

There he is.

Look at that face.

Did she go out with him?

Dated a little. Beau was not

the steady-boyfriend type.

He had lots of girlfriends.

You?

After college, very casually.

I invited him to your mom's wedding,

but your grandmother pooh-poohed it.

Said an ex-beau at a wedding

was bad luck.

"Ex-Beau."

There he is with Charlie Webb.

I forgot those two were friends.

My drink needs freshening.

- Yours?

- No. I'm... I'm driving.

Charlie Webb. Why...?

Why does that name sound familiar?

He was the big celebrity

from that class.

You know. He wrote that book

that caused all that flap.

The...

What?

When did Katharine say your mom...?

Right before the wedding.

Did she say she went to Mexico?

Cabo.

Charles Webb. Charles Webb.

Wait. Aunt Mitsy, what book

did you say that he wro...?

- Hello.

- Hi. I need you to do something for me.

Where are you?

Everyone's ready to go to the church.

I need you to go to the video store

and get me a copy of The Graduate.

- What?

- The Graduate.

- That movie with Dustin Hoffman in it.

- Why?

- Sarah, what is going on?

- Well, honey, I can't explain right now.

Everyone's waiting in the limo.

I can't go down there and ask...

Please just do it. Please.

I'll meet you at the church.

Oh, sorry. My bad, my bad.

- Sarah.

- Yeah. Come in.

- Here it is.

- Thank you.

I had to go to two different stores.

There it is! "Based on the novel

by Charles Webb."

- You should be out there.

- You've seen this?

- Yes, a few times.

- Do you think there's a TV here?

- Are priests allowed to watch TV?

- Sarah.

Okay. You know,

everyone has always said...

...that this is based on a real thing

in Pasadena.

That someone in town, some family,

were the real Robinsons.

It's my family, Jeff.

We are the Robinsons.

- Are you listening to yourself?

- Webb went to prep with my mom...

...he was best friends

with Beau Burroughs...

...who I think she ran off with.

- Beau Burroughs?

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