Run, Fat Boy, Run Page #3

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to win a bun.

Goodbye, Dennis.

Yes?

Yes. Hello, yes.

Um, do you have any of those

little gingerbread rabbits?

Oh, no.

We just have those at Easter.

I'm so sorry.

Oh.

Hmm...

Do you have anything else

shaped like an animal?

- Excuse me.

- What?

I haven't paid for my order.

I'm sorry.

- Excuse me.

- Yeah.

Excuse me.

- Ow!

- Sorry.

Seriously,

what do you see in him?

OK, he's well-off, all right?

He's kind of-- He's quite

good-looking, you know?

But I mean, so what?

Is that what you think

this is about?

I just want

some gorgeous sugar daddy.

I wouldn't say gorgeous.

Well,

that's not why I'm with him.

Well, why are you with him?

You know,

give me one good reason.

One? I could give you fifty.

- I'm fifty!

- Hang on a minute!

He's mature, responsible,

considerate...

he's great with Jake.

- That's only four.

- Hello?

You know what?

He's a good man, Dennis.

You know, he runs marathons

for charity, for Pete's sake.

Oh, big deal!

So you could run a marathon?

Could I have

a chocolate brownie, please?

- Hang on!

- Oh!

Look, Libby, I can change.

Yeah? Well, great.

Let's get married.

- Really?

- No!

We tried that once, remember?

You left me at the altar,

pregnant.

You cock!

Look, Libby, I can change, OK?

I have changed. I can prove it.

How?

I'll tell you.

I will run the marathon.

What?

The one that Whit's doin'...

I'll run that,

and I'll finish it.

Come on,

you've never finished...

anything in your entire life,

Dennis.

Oh, now, you-- That's not--

- You know--

- Look, You can't

even finish a sentence.

Don't--don't--

You're just bein',

you know, what's the word?

Cock?

I would settle for something

shaped like a fish.

Well, go to the fishmonger!

I'm a vegetarian.

OK. OK.

Dennis, just please leave.

OK. OK, I'll go.

But I'm gonna

prove this to you, Libby.

I can be mature, considerate,

and responsible.

- Oh!

- Dennis?

Yes, Libby?

It's two pounds, seventy-five.

Oh, yeah, right.

Hey, if Dennis thinks

he can run the race...

he can run the race.

- Thank you.

- There's no way

you can run a marathon.

- Why not?

- 'Cause you is a lazy bastard.

Hey, I'll have you know

I go to spin classes.

You went to one.

Yeah, and now

you walk like John Wayne.

Hey, this is important to me.

I mean it!

Look, I'm sick of

being a nearly man, all right?

I'm sick of being scared.

I'm sick of the regret

I feel every day...

'cause I didn't have the guts

to marry the woman I love!

All that ends

tomorrow at 6 A.M.

# Ow! #

Not bad.

Hi.

Feel better?

Much.

Oh, how was spin class?

Uh, it was...

It was an amazing workout.

Is that right?

Yeah. And I also thought

it would be...

a good chance for me

to get to know Whit...

a little bit better, so...

Well, maybe we should all go out

for dinner then.

- You think?

- Yeah.

And then we could go dancing.

- You're jokin'.

- No, not at all.

And then, afterwards,

we could come back here...

and have a threesome.

Oh. You are joking.

Of course, I am.

Look, Dennis, I don't know

what's going on...

in that head of yours,

but whatever it is...

- I don't like it.

- I've-- There's nothing--

- Daddy!

- Hey, buddy.

- You ready for school?

- Yeah.

Wait up, wait up, wait up a sec.

Can I walk with you guys?

OK.

- I'll see you later.

- OK.

- Bye.

- Bye-bye.

All right, you ready?

Yeah.

So, Whit, you were, uh, 'round

at Libby's pretty early, eh?

Whit stayed over last night.

- Oh?

- Yes.

They were jumping on the bed.

Wow.

Hey, Jakey, guess what?

Uh, I spoke to my friend...

and he does have an extra ticket

for the show tonight.

What do you say

we, uh, ask Emily to come along?

Yeah!

- Yay.

- What, he told you about Emily?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, and, uh...

Libby tells me that you

decided to run the marathon?

Yeah.

That's great, man. Seriously.

Really, that's awesome.

Thank you.

How did you manage to get in?

What do you mean?

Well, you can't

just show up and run.

Well, why not?

You have to apply in advance.

Well, how far in advance?

Uh, three months.

And when is it again?

Three weeks.

Right.

They'll make exceptions

sometimes...

if you're running for a charity,

but, uh, you know...

each charity is only allowed

a certain amount of runners.

No, you don't have to worry

about me.

I'll get in.

All right.

You ever, uh,

run a marathon before?

No. Why?

It's pretty gruelling.

Well, yeah, that's why

they call it a marathon.

Yeah, actually, technically,

it's called a marathon...

because of the events

of 490 B.C.

There was a Greek soldier...

- named Phei--

- Say, can I just...

- stop you there?

- Yeah.

I've got have nothing to say.

I just wanted to stop you there.

All right, all right.

Hello. Is that

the Cats Protection League?

Hello. I was just--

I'm-- I'm running a marathon

next month...

and I was wondering if I could

possibly run on your behalf?

Great. Yeah, yeah.

OK. I see.

How big is the costume?

OK. I'll call you back.

Ooh.

Hi.

- Dennis.

- Oh, yes?

Would you mind not doing that

in front of the customers?

Sorry. I went for a run

this morning in my trunks...

and I think

I've got a bit of a rash...

you know,

down there in the, uh...

- I understand.

- scrotal zone.

- I understand, Dennis.

- OK.

Please, keep your hands

out of the scrotal zone...

whilst you're at work.

Will do.

Shh.

Dennis!

Sorry. I was, um...

I was in the zone.

So, um, I'd actually

be dressed as a brain.

Um, can I call you back?

# Just 'cause you think it #

# It don't make it so #

# Drive you to drink #

# Won't let you go #

# Plenty of girls

and boys in love #

Come on!

# Plenty of girls #

# And boys in love #

Would you like a cup of tea,

Dennis?

So that's it.

Running this marathon

could be my last chance...

to show Libby that I can change.

Mmm.

You know what I would do

if I were you?

What?

I would get some cream

for that rash.

Let me ask you something,

Dennis.

Why did you leave your lady at

the altar when she was pregnant?

I don't know.

Just wasn't ready.

The toothpaste was already

out of the tube, my friend.

Being ready

had nothing to do with it.

I was scared.

Mmm.

So, you are a coward.

I thought we were just

gonna have a cup of tea.

You did not think

you were good enough.

Am I right?

You thought of your lady,

and you were terrified...

you could not give her

what she needed...

what she deserved.

I thought the same things...

on the day I married

Mrs Ghoshdashtidar.

May she rest.

Did you?

Yes. But guess what?

It turned out

I was good enough.

I made myself good enough.

You did a stupid thing, Dennis.

But she loved you once, and you

must have earned that somehow.

Yeah.

Did you have a good marriage,

Mr Ghoshdashtidar?

Ah.

I remember the feeling

of being complete...

of spending every day

with my best friend...

but most of all...

I remember all the f***ing.

Mmm...

Mmm...

Oh, three degrees starboard,

skipper.

Hey, I'm the captain.

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