Run, Fat Boy, Run Page #4

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Mutiny! Mutiny!

Whoa!

Ahoy there, me lad.

- Oh!

- Hey, Jakey.

Sorry, we're late, love.

Soon as Whit found out

we we're meeting here...

he had to go get his vessel.

Jakey, here.

Flip that switch.

No, not that one. That one.

Whoa! Can I steer it?

No.

But you can watch me steer it.

Mutiny.

Hey. You wanna?

- Was he OK?

- Yeah, he's fine.

We had a really nice time

until Captain Bligh turned up.

Whit just likes to take things

very seriously.

Prepare to be boarded,

or feel the hot wrath...

of Her Majesty's

royal fusillade!

Wait, don't touch that. Wait.

Why won't you

let me steer it?

Uh, because it's mine.

So, you're still gonna run

in this marathon?

Yes, absolutely.

It's gonna be great.

You're gonna see

a whole new Dennis.

Right, well,

I've been thinking about it...

and the thing is, I don't care.

What do you mean?

Dennis, what do you think

you're going to achieve?

Do you honestly think

that running 26 miles...

is just gonna wipe

the slate clean?

Well, you might change your mind

when you see me...

in jogging shorts.

Look, Whit's having

a birthday party...

for me in a couple of weeks...

and it would mean a lot to Jake

if you came.

To Jake?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, OK.

Whose boat is this?

Whose boat...is this?!

Excuse me!

Is-- Is this your boat?!

- No way!

- He's toast.

He won't last.

Would you like some pizza,

Dennis?

Oh. Yes, I would actually.

Thank you very much.

- Ow!

- Come here.

What are you doing that--

Stop it.

Are you still gonna do this?

Are you still gonna

run the marathon?

I want to, yes.

Thank God.

Why?

Because I just bet them

every penny I have.

What? You bet on me?

Dennis, you're my best friend.

I'm not gonna bet against you.

Well, thank you.

Not with these odds.

Well, what if I don't finish?

Vincent'll kill you.

Oh, you'll finish.

How can you be so sure?

Get up, get up, get up, get up,

get up, get up, get up!

So, you're gonna be my coach.

That's right.

Why are you here?

I'm the assistant coach.

Why do you get

to be assistant coach?

Because I have this spatula.

Ow!

Go on. Get running.

Wait. Isn't there some sort

of special technique?

Yeah, you put one leg

in front of the other...

over and over again really fast.

Why are you here again?

- Ow!

- Motivation.

# I said, yeah #

# I said, yeah #

- # What they said #

- # What they said #

- # Oh, I said, yeah #

- Lift your knees higher!

- You're not gonna get...

- # Yeah, yeah #

- anywhere like that!

- # It's what they said #

- You've gotta slide more.

- # What they said #

- # Do you believe I would

take something with me #

- Come on, Dennis!

- You want to feel my spatula?!

- # And give it #

- No, I do not!

- # To the police man? #

- Then run! Run like the wind!

- # I wouldn't do that #

- # And if I do that #

- This is harder...

- # I would say, "Sir" #

- for me, you know?

# "Come on

and put the charge on me" #

Ow!

# I wouldn't do that #

- # No, I wouldn't do that #

- Come on, Dennis! Come on!

- Lookin' good! Lookin' good!

- # I'm not a fool

to hurt myself #

- Come on, Dennis.

Keep up the pace.

- # I was innocent #

- Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait.

- # Of what they done to me #

# They was wrong #

I think I got a blister.

- # They were wrong #

- OK.

Yeah, gently.

All right.

OK! Oh! All right.

-ls it bad?

-No, it's not that bad.

No. No. It's not.

Ohh! Oh, that's big.

Look at that thing.

It's like a womb.

Don't.

Hey, maybe there's a little man

in there...

who looks just like you,

but he's really good at running.

What are you talking about?!

It's just a thought.

You're gonna have to pop it.

No. No way.

Never pop

another man's pustule.

Well, I'll do it then.

Give me the needle.

That's the closest I could get.

It's fine. I sterilized it.

In what?

It's sterilized.

OK, OK. Here we go.

Ooh, you're gonna get it.

Stick it in.

- Pop it!

- I can't!

- Why not?

- It's scary!

Give it to me.

Just do it slow!

- Do it-- Do it gently, OK?

- Yeah.

- Trust me.

- After three, OK?

- OK.

- One.

It's in it!

Get it out!

Bloody take it out!

- Hold still! Hold still!

- Get it!

I'm so sorry.

That's never happened before.

Oh! Oh!

I'm Catholic.

That was the second

most disgusting fluid...

I've ever had in my eye.

Who's that?

That's Mr G.

Get something nice on,

something respectable.

Where we goin'?

Every year,

literally hundreds of people...

are affected by acute

neurocortical emphasitis...

or Hapsburg Syndrome.

I see.

And how does the condition

manifest itself?

The syndrome

is characterized...

by a loss

of lower body function...

sporadic and often violent

outbursts of profanity.

And often chronic flatulence.

It's our aim to raise awareness

of the condition...

and, hopefully,

some funds to give...

some much-needed support...

to people such

as Mr Ghoshdashtidar here.

Mmm...

- Well, we think

that Mr Goshdashti--

- Ghosh!

- Ghoshtashtidar--

- Ghosh! Ghosh!

Ghoshtashtidar's condition

is very, uh, serious...

and warrants support,

and we'd be delighted...

for Mr Doyle to run

on behalf of acute neuro--

Acute neurocortical emphasitis.

- Or, uh...

- Hapsburg Syn--

Syndrome awareness. Yes.

OK.

We'll just need the charity's

registration number.

The what?

The registration number.

Well, that couldn't

have gone any worse.

Mmm.

- Look out!

- Oh!

Ohh!

Aw, hit by a wheelchair.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

- It stings.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- It stings.

- No, no, no, no!

Dennis, don't touch him.

- Can you stand?

- Oh, no!

- Are you OK?

- No. My leg's broken.

We are so sorry.

You-- Call an ambulance!

Oh, this can't be happening.

I was supposed to be running

the marathon in three weeks.

- Really?

- Yeah.

There were so many people

dependin' on me.

Charity people?

- Hmm?

- Yeah. God!

What charity people?

What do you think?

Nice.

Nicotine patch?

Applied.

- You been to the toilet?

- One and two.

You ready?

Ready.

One.

Ow.

- Two.

- Get up there.

# This is a jailbreak #

# This is a Thursday afternoon #

# But I didn't mean it #

- # I didn't mean it #

- Ow!

# I'd never get that far #

# My baby,

short breath wouldn't do #

# But you took it serious #

- # Took it so serious #

- Raise.

- No!

- No!

One, two...

One more! One more!

# Well, you accused me

of wearing movies in my eyes #

# But I still love you #

# Of course, I love you #

# And so I countered #

# You do the same, my Annie I #

# You closed them so fast #

# And you closed them so tight #

- Hi, Dennis.

- Wha--

I saw your friend Gordon

this morning.

I will replace

anything he stole.

He told me

about his little bet.

Oh, yeah.

- Yeah. Crazy, huh?

- Yeah.

So I made a crazy little bet

of my own.

Ooh. Who with?

With you, silly.

- We haven't made a bet.

- We're about to.

Here it is.

You finish the race...

I'll forgive

all the back rent you owe.

- And if I don't?

- If you don't finish...

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