Saala Khadoos

Women's boxing is a

young sport in India..

..and we are hosting

our first World Championship.

It's my privilege

to head the Indian team.

Wake up early,

do my chores..

..sneak out after hubby leaves,

travel miles, just to be spurned!

Quiet! You're not my wife!

Get lost!

Like your wife bolted

with that boxer?

Adi, you had a bitter split with

ex-coach Dev Khatri in 1996.

How do you feel

working under him now?

Look, that's over.

He apologized. I forgave.

Why can't India

produce more champs?

- Well, we won the bronze..

- Separate politics from boxing..

..and champs will spring

from every street.

Adi, you have a short temper.

How do you manage the girls?

Am I a pimp

managing a brothel?

- What a disgusting reply!

- What a daft question!

This is no way

to talk to a lady!

Please understand,

failure causes bitterness.

He sure shoots

his mouth off!

He was ranting

in the bar too.

Here's my sting operation.

The few backers

you have will desert you!

- Shut up around the Press!

- Shut up?

I can't forget 1996.

Dev, my coach, my mentor..

..smeared

vinegar on my gloves!

He knew I wiped sweat

off my eyes, like this

I did this, and

the vinegar blinded me!

I was rated as Olympic level.

Instead I lost to a lousy boxer..

..who was a Senator's nephew.

Dev sent him to the Olympics. He lost.

Dev made big bucks,

became the Boxing head.

Took me ten years

to treat my eyes.

He wrecked my career.

Shut up, you say?

Forget the past.

You're a coach now. Start over.

As a coach do I find new boxers

or suck up to Dev?

The girls he selects are

those who jump into his bed.

Shut up? No way!

The sting's on Adi,

but if it's aired, you're done for.

What's your price?

We'll see who's done for.

Box!

You klutz, keep the footwork light!

Plods like a cow, silly b*tch!

That's a foul!

You blind?

Where's the speed with

which you chomp free meat?

- Hey, block I said!

- Stop!

- Why don't you get into the ring?

- I'm sorry. Carry on.

Box!

C'mon, block!

Stop!

Unanimous points decision.

Red is the winner.

Wipe that grin off!

You beat a wimp, not Muhammad Ali.

And trim that punching

bag of a waist!

Cool it, dude.

You sure make a racket.

You suckers keep mum and

watch the Association go to the dogs.

Call for you

from the committee room.

The girls have accused you..

..of sexual harassment.

Nice story.

Get to the point.

The point is,

you are suspended..

..until a committee

verifies the charges.

Girls feel unsafe around you.

I hear you're sleeping

with a married woman.

True. My wife's eloped.

I'm single again.

Whom I sleep with

is my business.

I don't select players with

my trousers down, like you do!

I choose them on merit,

in the boxing ring!

You damn well know

I don't touch my students.

The complaint's aimed

at you, not me.

You should be investigated.

You need to answer this.

Stop it!

- This is no joke!

- What else is it?

Stop it and behave yourself.

You can't act on an

anonymous note and suspend Adi..

- ..he's the best we have!

- Fine, I won't.

But the bosses will

expect some action.

- Transfer him to Chennai.

- Chennai!

Chennai's got the worst boxers,

no infrastructure.

What will he do there?

We will be wasting him.

Our coach is a magician.

He'll pull out talent

from his hat!

You raunchy windbag!

Had I crushed these

when you wrecked my career..

..l'd have done Indian boxing

a big favor!

You want to push

your girls into the team!

Try any trick.

I'll find champs in Chennai!

A tad mad in the head.

Boldly, life's paths I tread.

Ire throbbing in every vein.

My clenched fists

and punches reign.

Think I'm rude?

So be it dude!

Think I'm rude?

So be it dude!

Anger is my mentor.

Passion my guide.

Ways of the world

are beyond me.

Without fear I walk,

on the path I decide.

Unabashedly bare.

To walk alone I dare.

Think I'm rude?

So be it dude!

Think I'm rude?

So be it dude!

Think I'm rude?

So be it dude!

Think I'm rude?

So be it dude!

Spent a fortune for his welcome

and the jerk doesn't turn up.

C'mon, tidy UP!

Adi! Welcome, sir!

You're three days late!

Everyone was set to welcome you.

'Senior Coach'? 'Boxing Loin?

What's this crap?

The banner?

Our tradition!

Everything gets a banner!

Births, deaths, weddings, honeymoons..

..even maidens entering

womanhood!

If I fart do I get a banner?

Don't mock sir,

it's a harmless tradition.

Pandian, Punch Pandian.

Senior Coach, Junior Coach!

It's time for the zonals.

Come, I'll introduce my champs!

Huh! My girls are better!

Gayatri, come.

Gayatri, jumped from

shot put to boxing..

..and into Coach lnnocent's

bed to get here.

Abhirami, boxer who still howls

when she takes a punch.

A useless bunch.

Just no fire.

So stoke the embers, kindle the fire.

Don't run down my girls.

Super fighters all.

Feed them well, watch them fight.

Meet my star fighter Laxmi

Lux. Boxing for eight years

only to wangle a police job.

No passion for boxing.

Lux.. no fire, just insipid foam!

Madhi, easy!

Slow down!

Madhi, careful!

Hurry UP!

So Adi, happy with the set-up?

Remember me? I'm Innocent.

- Any problem?

- Get me a lawyer.

Sure. What for?

- Need to sue someone.

- Who?

Your Pop, for producing

a twerp like you.

Beer bellied coach!

Beat it!

Laxmi Red, Diksha Blue.

First round.

Back off!

You'll make it to Delhi!

Winning on points,

Blue is the winner.

What?

- That's cheating. Do something.

- I should've won.

- Referee, what's this?

- Let me fix this.

Referee, Lux fought well.

Cheaters! Take them on.

Ain't you the new Coach?

Stop faffing, do something.

If your rival is the boss' daughter,

only a knockout works.

- Lux was just patting her.

- Come on! Lux fought well!

Fought well?

You don't do ballet in the ring.

These girls are fit only

for domestic chores.

Please step in and sort this.

I only wipe my own butt,

not my neighbor's.

Bloody cheat!

What were you paid to fix it?

One right hook is enough

to kill you, withered fossils!

Madhi! Stop!

' Let go!

- Madhi, no rough stuff.

- Fine! I'll go easy, promise.

Bloody jerks!

Call yourselves judges?

I'll teach you boxing!

Here's an upper cut!

Who's that boxer?

Answer that!

Lux's sister, she's no boxer.

A fishmonger!

Ruined any chance Lux had.

The witch!

Silvery salmon!

Up for grabs!

ls it fresh?

It ain't your chick!

Paw it and I'll chop off your hand!

Fresher than your mug.

Beat it!

Freshest of fish!

Where did you learn boxing?

- Why?

- Where did you learn boxing?

You pushing 90, 100?

Your record's stuck! Signs of old age!

- Come here, son.

- Wow! Ms. World's calling you.

Go, you're made

for each other. Scram!

Hey sis, come here!

Don't ruin my business! Scat!

Here. Now tell me.

Since when are you boxing?

- Sure. But first..

- What?

Shove this up

you know where!

Hey sis! Fresh fish!

Come to my gym, I'll train you.

Two hours every morning and evening

I'll pay 500 a day.

Hey Mr. Snooty!

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