Safari

Coming up on 5:
50 PM.

News update at 6.

But first the weather.

No end in sight.

Rain and hail continues

throughout France...

"cheap safari"

and 10 in Nice.

Elsewhere, a very hot summer

in South Africa,

with a record 109 degrees F

in Capetown.

Welcome to Africa,

cradle of humanity.

This is where we were born.

My name is Richard Dacier

and I'm all about Africa.

With me and my guide, Bako,

the routine is over.

Go to the heart of the savannah.

You're expected,

for the greatest of adventures:

A safari.

Which means,

a Dacier Safari

will hit you where you live!

Chouchou, will you take a check?

Outskirts of Johannesburg

Bako will work it out.

He always does, right?

It's hot.

It's usually hot, but now...

it's very, very hot.

I mean, compared to normal hot.

What?

Oh, I thought you...

Hello Chouchou.

Hi Bako.

How much?

$25,000.

Could Richard and I have a minute?

- To consider.

- Right.

Consider away.

I had a fantastic hand.

Four aces.

I was Puff Daddy, cruising.

He had a straight with suits.

A straight flush.

Straight flunch? What's that?

They cheated.

No. I'm a pro, with an eagle eye.

Your eagle needs glasses.

Cards are marked.

Weird.

No need to cheat to beat you.

Well?

Chouchou, we don't have 25.

I can give you 2.

Maybe 3.

What do you say?

I say he dies.

Unless you agree

to do a little favor

for Monsieur Charles.

Monsieur Charles!

Reload!

Pull-try!

Glad to see you, Dacier.

And it's not mutual!

Listen carefully.

Bring this case to a friend,

north of Mapulanguene.

Six miles past

the Mozambique border.

On Sunday,

at 4 PM.

Stop playing when I talk!

Please!

He never lets me play!

I want to jump out a window!

This is the ground floor.

Sorry. She's my niece.

Where were we?

Sunday at 4.

You deliver the case at 4.

In exchange,

you pick up another case.

And what's in the case?

Fruit bars and a bilboquet.

You really are dumb as a fence post.

A friend of mine,

who will sort of...

supervise things.

Where is he?

There!

This is Ralph Becker.

You scared me.

Do I have to go with these clowns?

It'll be fine.

A bus load of tourists in shorts

is perfect cover.

If that's all, maybe we should go.

He should go.

I always guide the tourists.

No, yeah. Yeah, he...

He's the safari specialist.

I just book them.

I haven't gone in 30 years.

Let me go. I'll do what you want.

Don't send Richard.

Bako...

I know all about your bond

with Dacier.

Your friend would do anything

to get you back in one piece.

Am I right?

Bako...

You can do it, Richard.

Take my guide book, be careful,

and heed your instinct.

I'm afraid.

Forget that word in the bush.

Bako, not the bush!

No! Not the bush! Bako!

Because of me,

Bako might die.

I'll never make it, Bernardo.

Come on, Bernardo.

I can't learn the bush like that.

All right.

Chapter one.

Dangers of the Bush.

The big 5:

Lion, leopard,

buffalo, rhino, elephant.

Richard.

Dad?

You must help Bako.

Save him.

It's your destiny.

You know I can't go to the bush.

You must do it.

And brush after every meal.

Yes, Dad.

Dad?

I'm going.

No, Bernardo. Not you.

It's too dangerous.

You're just a child.

A monkey child, but a child.

DAD'S THlNGS

Hi! Richard Dacier.

You with the Dacier safari?

Hakuna matata to you!

Answer, "Hakuna matata to you, too."

You're white.

Black at heart,

though white of skin,

Africa is a cry

that comes from within.

This way to the bus.

OK, ready?

Everyone comfortable?

Oh right.

This man took another flight.

His name is...

Jean.

Right. Easy to remember.

Jean what?

Jean.

So it's Mr. Jean Jean.

In Beauvais I know a Hugues Hugues.

Hard to say.

Great!

Got a middle name?

Jean.

To the hotel?

No, the safari has begun.

The welcome toast in the brochure!

We all smell like the plane!

I don't.

Except Missy. Who wants a shower?

All right.

Drinks, showers. But quickly.

- Dacier, I got a feeling.

- Yeah?

No A/C, right?

No. If I turn it on,

the motor stalls.

Mr. Dacier, on your web site

you speak a curious language.

What dialect is it?

It's Woolite.

Waoolite.

Do they study it in colleges?

No, in the field. It's complicated.

The peanuts taste like cold cuts.

Mine is the opposite.

Yes, Mom. I've arrived.

No, don't worry.

Not yet.

My Fanta is warm.

It's not Fanta. It's Banga.

My Banga is warm.

It's served warm here. Tradition.

What's the matter, Jean Jean Jean?

Sorry, you look like a dead fish.

Have I seen you before?

No. I don't think so.

Must be mistaken.

Everyone, party's over!

What party?

Everybody here?

No, Benoit is missing.

It's the... warm Banga.

- Mr. Dacier?

- Yes?

Can we be sure this safari

will encounter the big 5?

Right, the big 5. I know, I know.

It's not orals!

But I know the big 5.

Buffalo, elephant, rhino,

lion... and leopard.

Really want to?

No! The goal of a safari

is to avoid animals.

Worst case, we could fall back

on the little 4.

The big 4? What's that?

The 4 smallest creatures

in the bush.

Caterpillar, greenfly,

mites and lice.

Faced with a lion,

how should one behave?

Oh, faced with...

the king of beasts?

The master, predator...

The boss.

- The owner.

- The lion!

Right, the lion. With a lion,

which can be pretty mean,

well,

you...

Never turn your back.

Right, that's it.

Don't turn around. That's it.

And baring your teeth is hostile.

Right. No teeth.

If it attacks us anyway?

Why would it?

If we get a lion

who doesn't know the rules.

Lie down and play dead.

Are boas dangerous?

Bows?

No.

Well, depends on the bow.

But usually not.

There are different boas?

Of course. Ribbons.

Arrows, violins...

She means a bo-a.

Oh! Right, the boa, well...

Well that's... I mean, look out!

No danger.

Unprovoked, boas don't attack.

Exactly. Look out, no danger at all.

Look, zebras!

- Where?

- Near the tree!

Can we stop?

Too dangerous in herds.

- There's only 2.

- 2 is a herd.

Dacier, you scared?

Stop, we take pictures.

Take the pictures,

but stay with the vehicle.

Mr. Becker, if you don't mind,

could you get out a second?

Mix with the group, be a tourist.

Make an effort.

I don't like tourists.

It's out of focus.

Mr. Dacier!

Take a picture of me and my wife?

You're too close! Careful.

No risk. They're like ponies.

Ponies aren't zebras.

Cats aren't cheetahs,

sardines aren't sharks!

Be nice, come take a picture.

I got you.

Use the zoom.

Dacier! Over there.

We're being attacked!

- What's that?

- Blueball monkeys.

Why that name?

Use the zoom.

They're ransacking the bus!

Wait! After they steal,

they sometimes clean up.

They cleaned us out.

I'll sue, monkey or not.

They ate my toothpaste.

- Didn't clean up.

- Guess not.

Sorry.

- I'm so sorry.

- What a mess!

I can see that.

- They slapped me.

- Really?

There's one still there! Bastard!

Relax, they're gone Becker.

You called Jean Jean "Becker"?

No, I said,

"It's OK, they're gone...

"Becare."

From the verb "to becare,"

meaning...

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