Safari Page #2

"to share food."

Let's go! We have to be

at base camp by evening.

- I got everything.

- Great.

Oh no, I can't believe it.

They stole my Amex.

- The one with Flying Blue miles?

- Yeah.

Only natural.

- Why?

- It's their favorite color.

It was a joke, Bertrand.

Right.

I know, I got it.

Anyway, they don't have my PlN.

It was a joke, Magalie.

I know, I got it.

Mr. Dacier,

what do we do about..?

About?

Relieving ourselves.

Behind those trees, I guess.

Don't go too far.

All right.

What is it, crocodile?

No. Antelope, maybe.

It's solid, very solid.

Hyena, maybe.

No. Mr. Dacier, what is it?

Oscar Meyer weiners.

What's for dessert?

Animal crackers.

Want some?

I love to becare.

Not staying with us?

With you? No.

Strange guy.

Not a word all night.

The heat gets to him.

He sweats from his nostrils.

Disgusting.

Fire's warm.

Playing cards?

Feel like playing some poker?

I don't like poker.

I prefer magic.

Do a trick for us?

That's fun.

Fantastic.

The king's the father.

The son is the jack.

The goal's to find the father.

Right there.

Once again.

He must be there.

Where is the father?

Nowhere.

And you two? How did you meet?

- Bowling.

- Baptism.

A baptism that took place

in a bowling alley.

The parents are great bowlers.

So they had it there.

It was love at first sight.

Soon as I laid eyes on her,

I knew she was the one for me.

No matter what the obstacles.

Ever since that day, I knew

who I was waiting for,

hoping for.

Beautiful.

Very romantic.

And you?

Me?

I got a strike.

I played with cheetahs!

Don't laugh,

I feel like we've met before.

- No, we haven't.

- We have.

- You're an ER nurse.

- No, that's not me.

What did I say?

It's true! I played with cheetahs!

Great, Benoit.

Tomorrow we leave at six.

Five AM wake-up call.

- Five?!

- Five-fifteen.

Great! We sleep in!

There were 2 of them.

Unbelievable.

Bertrand?

Could you look elsewhere

while I undress?

Where?

North-northwest.

Opposite way from my tits.

Where you from?

Peyrat-le-Chateau.

You know it?

Never heard of it.

You must know Beauvais.

I've heard the name.

They often speak

of the Bay of Rio, Bali, Venice...

I truly feel Beauvais is among

the world's most beautiful places.

That's at the Y, when I was a kid.

That's the National Tapestry Center.

See that smokestack?

Sopalin paper factory. Know Sopalin?

Of course.

They make it in Beauvais.

You're so in love with your town.

Why did you come to Africa?

For the adventure.

When the impala is born,

he has only 15 minutes to stand

or he may be devoured

by savannah predators.

Fifteen minutes! Incredible, huh?

These books were a great idea.

Thanks.

If someone told me,

you'd be here

on your 32nd birthday...

- 35th.

- Right.

- Our Benoit, surgeon-to-be!

- Not yet.

My first operation

will be right here.

- In the garden?

- No, the hospital.

In my home town.

Beauvais. The best place on earth.

Yeah, we know.

And our last gift.

This is too much.

An African safari?

A great trip.

I travel through books.

Look, you read Africa,

lndia, China!

Stop reading the world, see it!

You're 35, stuck to the couch.

Go to Africa! F***!

Watch your language.

We're going to the Pezet's

in Saint-Tropez!

Next year, I'll go to Chile.

Must be nice.

Must be.

What was that?

Please.

That.

Please.

It's nothing, kill it.

- You sure?

- No danger.

Sorry, Jean Jean,

it was an egg-bearer.

When you kill her,

the young scatter.

They enter through your orifices.

Sleep with your pants on?

But some got up my nose.

Morning. Sleep well?

Come here, I have an announcement.

I have a little surprise for you.

Today, we're going to...

Mozambique!

Listen up, everyone.

I have a little surprise.

All right. Today we're making

a side trip to...

The Faundo village, right?

It's in the brochure.

Faundo village. No surprise.

Oh, right. The village.

What kind of village?

A Faundo village.

It's in the heart of the savannah,

A village untouched

by civilization and decadence,

despite frenetic globalization.

The Faundos. Having preserved

their ancestral soul,

this primitive people is immune

to modern temptations.

- Momo.

- What?

Nothing wrong?

What? I 'm fine there.

Gathering fruit, looking exhausted.

What's that?

Enough.

Two weeks ago, Nikes.

Now it's the boxers.

What's next, a Hermes scarf?

Jawal, when Wembe's carrying corn,

get in there beside him!

Azaan, don't laugh.

When goats stray,

it's a problem.

Lead them to the side.

I keep telling you.

One more thing:

Turn off your cell phones!

The Faundo village, stands forgotten

in a hi-tech world.

Wow! Sounds so typical!

Let's go.

It is nice. Really a nice village.

But now that I know you,

I think I know what you need.

I have something just for you.

A slight change of schedule,

and we can make a side trip to...

Excuse me.

Dacier, it's Max from Africa Tours!

The Travel Office is watching you.

There are moles in your group!

I got to go.

To?

There are two seats for you.

You were interrupted.

A side trip to...

Right, too far.

A side trip too far?

How do you feel about moles?

Moles? What are you getting at?

Neither do l.

Why? We're going to see moles?

Is that it?

Unless the moles see us.

Not knowing we know!

While watching, and not telling us

that they're watching us.

African proverb?

Are you OK? You look stressed out.

Excuse me...

No good...

I get to Mozambique

or I lose Bako.

With the Faundo, there are moles.

Who's he talking to?

His engine.

Is that normal?

For men, yeah.

The briefcase.

What if I lost it? Right.

Hi, Monsieur Charles.

I lost the briefcase.

He'd never believe me.

And then there's Becker.

OK, whatever you want.

It's your money.

Fine, bye.

Change of plans!

Guess who's coming to see us!

Dacier!

It's so beautiful. And so typical!

- Can we talk?

- Sure.

Hi,

I'm Benoit Solanse from Beauvais.

But they won't understand.

- What is it?

- Pillagers.

Pillagers!

Is it Ringling Bros. all day

or we get breaks?

Don't panic.

It means, "Hands up."

No, no breaks.

- You told them hands up?

- I did?

Who are they?

Pillagers. They're pillaging us.

They have blue balls, too?

Is it Waoolite?

Yeah.

Go talk to them.

OK, I'm going.

Pinch me.

Dacier!

In the bush. You vaccinated?

Don't overact.

I'm not! We're so believable.

I went to dramatic arts school!

At age 11, I could do Moliere!

Look, just do

what we said on the phone.

Get the briefcase off the bus,

from the jumpy guy with pimples.

Then get out of here.

This is it.

My life is passing before my eyes.

Please, send my remains to Beauvais!

You.

Money.

If you tear her clothes off,

and play with her body...

I mean, just in case.

You not work video club

in Dulban?

I can't believe it.

You, mini-sh*t,

you have the case?

Give it to me!

- Drop them.

- What are you doing?

Saving us, a**hole.

- Becker!

- "Becker"! I knew it!

Your friend is crazy!

Hold this, b*tch.

Hey, I'm a student.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes